THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[lady00]

Day thirty something (lost count). Had a nice, relaxed day. Nothing much to report. Someone I dated in the past wants to hook up again. Not sure if I'm ready for that. Still miss my ex and I want the next person I date to be someone new who doesn't have any history with me. Still, I would love the affection. Sighs. Exes. They always seem to emerge when you don't want them anymore!

[TMinCali]

I concur regarding exes returning when you are totally over them. I had an ex that completely "destroyed" me about 6 years ago text me and told me that he still loves me! Of course now, I want nothing to do with him and only want my most recent ex back. It's funny b/c I'm doing n/c with the 6 year ago ex (not purposely), but he's texting me non-stop. lol

 

Oh the irony!

 

I guess I can expect my most recent ex to contact me in a few years (sigh)

 

I was almost to day 30 of n/c with the current ex and sent him, along with a couple other friend a very short message with a link regarding a baseball player that just passed away. I figured this was ok since it was an informative email and he just happened to be on the distribution

 

I know.. I know... I blew it... Day 1 begins tomorrow. This blows!

[Knightm29]

Day 33.

 

Another great but messy weekend was had. Managed to get a date for Thursday night, a Geography teacher. She seems really nice so fingers crossed.

 

Thinking about my Ex alot less as the days go by, still crosses my mind 3 or 4 times a day if not more but its a lot different to sitting being obsessed with her.

 

Definetly healing!

[spaced]

Ok..really bad day (day 5) i so want to call her or mail and ask to see her so we can talk through things again.. but i'm in NC i promised her and myself that i would give her the space - this is selfish, it's all about me, my need and boy its tough!

[thelonelydoll]

Ok..really bad day (day 5) i so want to call her or mail and ask to see her so we can talk through things again.. but i'm in NC i promised her and myself that i would give her the space - this is selfish, it's all about me, my need and boy its tough!

 

spaced - there will be some bad days like this, as NC is difficult for most people, especially in the beginning. But by 30 days, you should feel so much better. See Knightm's post above yours. Stay strong - you have all the time in the world to "talk things through again" later on.

[spaced]

Hi LDoll ! I know its the irrational fear of her forgetting that i care, forgetting about me - its like if i dont poke this thing gently with a stick its going to die! A better approach i suspect is "it's already dead - stop poking!"...

[papalazarou]

Hi LDoll ! I know its the irrational fear of her forgetting that i care, forgetting about me - its like if i dont poke this thing gently with a stick its going to die! A better approach i suspect is "it's already dead - stop poking!"...

 

 

Yes mate I have flogged the proverbial dead horse plenty of times!

[lizer]

42 DAYS NC.

broke up FOUR months ago to date after THREE years.

first love.

 

still think of him every single day.

feel detached from him. as though we are strangers now.

and it is a TERRIBLE feeling.

he(dumper) has not attempted to contact me at all in the past 42 days.

though he still reads my xanga evvvvery single day.

and that keeps me in false hope probably.

 

am considering phoning pretty soon.

leaving a message. saying hi. writing a letter.

SOMETHING.

this is been too long. ugh.

[kgirl]

Day 13 for me...he came to pick up his stuff at my apartment last night only to find that I wasn't there, his stuff was in a pile and my roommates and I have moved out! He has no clue where I am now, and it feels like I'm getting some power back.

 

 

Mwah hah hah.

[Fineberg]

Thanks for the kind words, Waterbaby. I try my best!

 

 

Day 5 of 100

 

Last night I sat down and wrote a letter to my ex's parents with the intent of sending it! I don't know what I was thinking, but I am just glad I don't have any stamps or envelopes around at the moment or right now I would be stalking the mailman.

 

The letter pretty much was me thanking them for allowing me into their home and treating me like family. It also explained how I felt her and I were too young to take as much responsibility in the relationship and the only way I feel I can vindicate that now that the relationship is over is by taking more responsibility for myself.

 

Now I know what people mean when they say "I'll sleep on it." It gave me time to think that HEY, it's been 3 months since we've broken up. They are all going about their merry lives in their own way and there is a good possibility that if I sent this letter, it will not only upset my ex, but her parents as well. Don't need to do that.

 

Like Superdave says- You can't mess it up by doing NOTHING. And I am just starting to get on a roll here with NC. The last thing I should be doing is making up excuses to contact my ex, her family, or friends. BE STRONG EVERYBODY!!!

[Gabrielle0975]

Day 4

 

still holding up... [: I donno why..I'm not having problems with NC right now. In fact, I rarely even think about him. Weird.

 

Maybe the pain will come..hopefully not.

[lrw301jl]

Day #1

 

I'm going to join this challenge although I know is not going to be easy. I need to do this for myself. I miss her so much. I guess I will just take it day by day just like everyone else that is on this thread. Like Superdave said; no matter who fault it's "NC" is the way to go. I'm going to work on myself and maybe through out my journey being better person, my ex will come back.

 

Hang in there everyone!

[The One]

Day 13,

 

I have been feeling happier, better and stronger everyday, hard part is coming up though, have a feeling she will try to call me this week.

 

keep Going Everybody, Lets get ourselves back!!!!!!

 

Welcome Irw301jk!!!!

[TMinCali]

So, I mentioned that I sent an email out to some friends regarding the passing of a certain baseball player and my ex was included on the distribution. He replied to me and thanked me for sending him the link.

 

Ugh... he always replies to my emails. I wish he wouldn't sometimes. When he replies, I never reply back until days/weeks later. When I call, he always answers and is super sweet. If he doesn't answer, he'll always text me back saying that he was sorry he missed my call and tells me what he's up to. It's so confusing which is why I understand that no contact is the way to go.

 

I just want my "sweet baby" back... why can't I get over him??? Today has been very very difficult. I just want to know when the pain ends

I have other guys that want to date me, and actually had to hurt someone recently because I just wasn't ready to give him what he wanted. I just don't want anyone else at this point. Is this a girl thing because it's my understanding that after a breakup, guys will hook up with someone else right away if they have the opportunity.

[Fineberg]

I just don't want anyone else at this point. Is this a girl thing because it's my understanding that after a breakup, guys will hook up with someone else right away if they have the opportunity.

 

Cali, we all have our own way with dealing with a break up. I didn't think my ex was the kind of person who would persue a rebound, but she has. I, on the otherhand, am trying to take time to work on myself.

[sillygoose1]

well as you may have all seen i broke the NC challenge yesterday and texted him back. I didn't feel bad at all yesterday but tonight it is kicking in again. He emailed me and said that he wished i pushed harder for him to make an effort with my daughter and we did have a great relationship and he misses me. all the right things but "let's work this out". how can someone just leave you and still keep pulling you back into hope.

I think reading that really hurt me most of all. I did respond that that wasn't my job to make him make an effort and I will be just fine.

I know i will be okay without him and easily find someone new when i am ready but the pain of losing him just lingers. I have been hit on and stuff since he left but I don't feel the attraction to anyone yet. Funny thing is these guys are so much better looking and stable than him and i can't bring myself to try out the dating yet. It is still so early i guess.

well i am back at day 1 and this time it is for real i will not contact him anymore or respond to emails ir texts. int he email i wrote asked fr his new address to send his mail and the rest of his stuff.. so i have no reason to talk tohim anymore. I learned my lesson. I hope

[WorkoutAddict]

Day 6

 

I had an incredibly hectic day at work which helped a lot. A cloudy and rainy day as well, which does not help too much. Throughout my way back home I kept thinking why he hasn't called to apologize for his rude behavior, maybe he is waiting for me to call... well, why don't you get a comfortable chair, a nice movie and popcorn while you wait? Went to the gym and worked out until I almost fainted to not think at all about him and to not feel this excruciating pain inside, and it worked for a little while but here I am, in front of the screen blurred by tears. I deserve much better than that!

 

But in the meantime... how do I go through another night without his arms surrounding me?

[lady00]

Don't worry about the time too much. I know the challenge is 30 days but it's not really the amount of time that you do NC that matters...it's how you feel. I've done more than 30 days and I still miss him a lot and feel like he was right for me in many ways. Of course, he wasn't right for me since he broke things off and we didn't even date for long, but I can't really help the way I feel..for now. Time will get me there. And you too. It's okay if you slip up and break NC (which you didn't really do)...it's all about healing, not the technicalities.

[waterbaby07]

End of Day 11and oh my god, it feels like a lifetime. busy all day today thank goodness. came home to some nice emails from my sister and an admirer!!! He's really cute- i saw his pic online and wrote to him. Not really interested in anything, but it's nice to know there are people who find me attractive during this "im ugly, nobody loves me, im so depressed" phase of my life. Talked about HIM to my friends at lunch. I had a dream/nightmare that HE was bragging to me about how many women's numbers he had obtained since our break-up. In my dream i cried and cried. I was so relieved to wake up.

Lizer: I'm interested in why he would read your Xanga everyday too?! Have you thought of blocking him?

My ex was so upset that I deleted him from my myspace page (which is private). He dumped me so i feel he has no right to know what's going on in my life anymore.

TMinCali: One of my biggest fears is that my ex has already hooked up with someone. He's really good looking and women basically throw themselves at him. The only thing i can do to make myself feel better is say to myself, "why would i want a man who would hook up with some chic right after he breaks up with me?" I feel the same way you do though- not even close to wanting to be with someone else right now. I must admit though, it's nice getting hit on and thinking of all the possibilities that await me.

Kgirl: Good for you! I wonder how he felt coming into an empty apt?

Workout Addict: Im thinking the same exact things! We can rent a movie and eat popcorn together while WE wait, but then again, we may be eating popcorn forever!

Onward to Day 12.......

[TMinCali]

Just got back from having sushi with a guy I'm totally not interested in. He asked me why I was becoming so distant so I had to tell him that I still wasn't over my ex and not really ready to start anything. After all that, he drops me off and asks me when he can see me again! Ugh!!!

[sillygoose1]

lol at least your getting yourself out there. I am envious. I hang out with male friends but can't seem to accept a date yet.

[WorkoutAddict]

Oops, take a look at my following message... sorry.

[WorkoutAddict]

Workout Addict: Im thinking the same exact things! We can rent a movie and eat popcorn together while WE wait, but then again, we may be eating popcorn forever!

Onward to Day 12.......

 

LOL I meant my ex... I'm sure he is waiting for me to call, so the movie and the popcorn are for him... better be a LONG movie

[Cletharin]

It's Day 7.

 

I've done everything I could possibly do to NOT think about him today. It worked for a few hours, but then I was playing DDR (haven't done that in a couple years), and falling down a lot, and I remembered a time way back when we used to play together.

That hit me pretty hard. I'd felt decent all day.. But when I thought about that, I just turned off the game and sat down staring into nothingness for at least an hour...

 

Is it supposed to hurt like this?

 

But I realized something today... I actually think he's going to come back to me. But I don't.. That might make no sense at all.. But I really believe he's coming back even though I don't. I don't know how to explain it, but maybe someone knows where I'm coming from?

 

Maybe I'm just being childish, but I can't seem to get over this feeling.

[Fineberg]

I NEED TO BE DUCT TAPED TO A CHAIR AND HAD TWINKIES THROWN AT ME, PLEASE!

 

Ladies and Gents, I broke no contact today, and you know what? It felt really good. I called her up after 3 days of absolutely no contact and we talked on the phone for 12 minutes. No awkward pauses, very friendly. Basicaly we both caught up with each other on what we've been up to the last few days. She sounded really happy to hear my voice. It actually took me two tries to end the conversation, because she sensed me trying to end it the first time and interrupted me with something to talk about. The second attempt I said-

 

"well it sounds like you're almost home, so-"

(INTERRUPTED)

"no I'm not"

 

"well, I gotta get back to what I was doing, but you can give me a call later"

 

"okay, but...okay bye"

 

So yes, I broke NC, but I will still catalogue the rest of my days to keep you all updated on my adventures of being single and patching things up with my ex. NOW, I will let her call me.