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Fineberg

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  1. Fineberg
    Day 7 of 100 Haven't heard from ex in over 36 hours and I am starting to realize a lot of things. 1) I can't make her come back, I can only give her time to miss me. 2) I want her to be happy, even if it's not with me, but I believe that eventually, when and if her and I are both ready, we could make each other happy again. 3) I am guaranteed to see her again since we both start school again in the fall. Wouldn't 90 days of NC be amazing? Think of all the healing, forgiveness, and nice thoughts we will have of each other in the mean time. 4) I was able to bring back things to good terms, now I want to keep them there while in NC, and the only way I can guarantee that is by STAYING in NC. 5) I am prepared if she "forgets" me or things about me. Good. When she comes back she will see a whole new me. I am gaining back my self-worth and confidence day-to-day and keeping myself busy. I know it will be much easier for someone to fall in love with the new and improved me then convince them why the old me is so great. I am really looking forward to summer. I do miss her a lot, but I am coming to accept that the only control I have over the situation is to let go. It'll also be interesting to see how she reacts to NC. I will proceed with this as if it was an experiment. We last spoke two nights ago. How much more can she go?
  2. Fineberg
    I would keep up NC since it doesn't sound like the two of you are on the best of terms and anymore contact with him may as well push him farther away.
  3. Fineberg
    Well sounds like No Contact is the way to go then, atleast for the time being.
  4. Fineberg
    Do you not want to talk to him because you're mad at him?
  5. Fineberg
    The best possible thing you can do right now is give him space, alteast a few weeks, unless he calls you. I know it hurts, but the best way to right something like this is with time.
  6. Fineberg
    Oh, how I'm tryin! And as far as your situation is concerned, what exactly were the unkind words he last spoke to you?
  7. Fineberg
    Yes, yes, I do think we have the same e-book because I am posting a lot of things from it, such as having no regard for the other person your ex is interested in. I also agree with your point on NC vs LC. I believe NC is for when you aren't on the best of terms with your ex, but if you ARE on good terms with your ex, I wouldn't recommend making much of the contact or else I think you could fall into the dreaded "Friend Land." So yea, I contacted my ex and we had a solid conversation, but I feel she needs to make the next attempt at real contact.
  8. Fineberg
    Haha, it's funny you mention that, Addict. I was calling her to tell her that I need to get her antique chairs out of my apartment because it's taking up too much space in my apartment. That reason is partly true but I am also trying to cut ties between me and her stuff so I have more control over the situation, my life, and feel like I'm not doing favors for my ex anymore. BUT OFCOURSE, she answers the phone with an excited "Hi!" and I just melt. You have to understand, she can have a very childlike, innocent, and upbeat way about her and other times she can be very cool, objective, and guarded. I don't know if any of you believe in astrology or not, but she's a gemini on the gemini/cancer cusp (her birthday was the 21st). So due to the way she answered the phone, I just couldn't force myself to be stern with her and I took advantage of the fact that her and I are on good terms and we had a nice talk JUST about what we've been up to, which was suprisingly very entertaining on both ends. During the 12 minute conversation I starting thinking in my head- "GOD, this is the woman I fell in love with. We still have that chemistry even over the phone and it only took a few days of space to get that back." So, like I have said before, I ended the phone call at a high-point while she still wanted to talk. When she called me back, even if it was for one ring before I guess she decided to either let me sleep or call me later, it assured me that she ATLEAST started thinking of me after we stopped talking. And that, folks- is always a good thing. I DON'T CARE how much she likes this other guy or her feelings for him. I CANNOT affect her attraction towards him. I can ONLY affect her attraction towards ME.
  9. Fineberg
    Thanks for the advice and support, Andy. I am REALLY trying not to read into things.
  10. Fineberg
    Andy, I started NC (which obviously has now turned in LC) the night of the 20th right after I wished her a happy birthday and being a day after I wrote her an email about our relationship and other things on the 19th. She called me on the 22nd to thank me for wishing her a happy birthday and then I called her last night, with her psuedo-calling me 90 minutes later, but it only ringed once (what do you guys make of that?) I don't want this to turn into a friendship or anything, so I decided to back off again and let her call me again. Hopefully this time she will give me time to pick up the phone! I will keep you posted.
  11. Fineberg
    Day 6 of 100 So last night I called my ex at around 10:15 and we ended up talking a solid 10 to 15 minutes. None of it was fighting. None of it was about the relationship. None of it was about the guy she likes now. We just had fun catching up with each other. I've read many books that say the way to end a phone call or date with someone you are interested in is to end while the other person is still having a good time and the energy hasn't begun to die off yet. Well, let me tell you, that is hard to do! Haha, but I did it, telling her she could call me later. And when people say call me later, you can interpret it anyway you want. It's a very open ended request. Well she ended up calling me an hour and a half later at midnight while I was in bed, but the funny thing is that my phone only ringed once, like she suddenly had a second thought about calling me at that time. Well I don't know the reasoning behind it and I will try not to look into it, but the important thing is she is obviously thinking about me again. That makes total sense too, because if our phone call had snailed along until we both stopped coming up with interesting things to talk about, there wouldn't be as much anticipation or reason to call back right away. But by ending the conversation at its high-point, while we both have more to say, she's going to end the call with me, thinking about me, how much she likes talking to me, and possibly missing me and concerned I am becoming too busy to just stay on the phone with her. AND THAT, LADIES AND GENTS, WAS MY OVER-ANALYZATION OF THE PHONE CONVO I HAD WITH MY EX.
  12. Fineberg
    I NEED TO BE DUCT TAPED TO A CHAIR AND HAD TWINKIES THROWN AT ME, PLEASE! Ladies and Gents, I broke no contact today, and you know what? It felt really good. I called her up after 3 days of absolutely no contact and we talked on the phone for 12 minutes. No awkward pauses, very friendly. Basicaly we both caught up with each other on what we've been up to the last few days. She sounded really happy to hear my voice. It actually took me two tries to end the conversation, because she sensed me trying to end it the first time and interrupted me with something to talk about. The second attempt I said- "well it sounds like you're almost home, so-" (INTERRUPTED) "no I'm not" "well, I gotta get back to what I was doing, but you can give me a call later" "okay, but...okay bye" So yes, I broke NC, but I will still catalogue the rest of my days to keep you all updated on my adventures of being single and patching things up with my ex. NOW, I will let her call me.
  13. Fineberg
    Cali, we all have our own way with dealing with a break up. I didn't think my ex was the kind of person who would persue a rebound, but she has. I, on the otherhand, am trying to take time to work on myself.
  14. Fineberg
    Thanks for the kind words, Waterbaby. I try my best! Day 5 of 100 Last night I sat down and wrote a letter to my ex's parents with the intent of sending it! I don't know what I was thinking, but I am just glad I don't have any stamps or envelopes around at the moment or right now I would be stalking the mailman. The letter pretty much was me thanking them for allowing me into their home and treating me like family. It also explained how I felt her and I were too young to take as much responsibility in the relationship and the only way I feel I can vindicate that now that the relationship is over is by taking more responsibility for myself. Now I know what people mean when they say "I'll sleep on it." It gave me time to think that HEY, it's been 3 months since we've broken up. They are all going about their merry lives in their own way and there is a good possibility that if I sent this letter, it will not only upset my ex, but her parents as well. Don't need to do that. Like Superdave says- You can't mess it up by doing NOTHING. And I am just starting to get on a roll here with NC. The last thing I should be doing is making up excuses to contact my ex, her family, or friends. BE STRONG EVERYBODY!!!
  15. Fineberg
    I just got done with a little nap, went grocery shopping today. Just doing the day to day things and little extra to help me get past all this
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