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WorkoutAddict

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  1. WorkoutAddict
    I like it. I feel flattered.
  2. WorkoutAddict
    Ok... Day 10 As I said in another post, I feel emotionally and physically exhausted. This morning when the alarm rang I could barely open my eyes. Still in the shower I was more than half asleep. Going upstairs or downstairs one floor seems a titanic task to me and yet I spend more than an hour at the gym every day trying to get rid of all this negative energy. I feel like I don't care about anything and anyone. I wish I could dig my nails in the jerk's face until it bled (he would need a very good surgeon after that, trust me).
  3. WorkoutAddict
    1guygirl: Yes, thank you, that's what I've always done but now more than ever. Not another tear for him ever again. Hang on!!
  4. WorkoutAddict
    Day 9 I feel kind of "I don't care if the world collapses tomorrow". I'm amazed that I gave so much time, so much love, so much attention, so much everything, to someone who did not deserve any. I'm tired of giving 101% of myself, I am exhausted, as if these jerk had sucked all the energy from me. I feel as if he had taken an important part of me and that I will never have it back.
  5. WorkoutAddict
    Waterbaby also told my ex how unhappy I felt and he said that he would make up for everything but he kept acting that way. I agree with you, I have never had sex just for the sake of it. There must be love involved, otherwise I'd feel empty. We deserve the best, if they were unable to give the best to us, just the way we did to them, too bad for them. Hang on! 1guygirl: Thanks for the link! "We must all let go of people who hurt us whether we understand why or not." Our dignity is first. How true!!
  6. WorkoutAddict
    Day 8 I was so busy at work that I barely had any time to think. I feel disappointed and deceived. On my way home I didn't think of my ex with sadness, but with anger. Now I'm 99.99% sure that he won't call. Somewhere, somehow, what we had was broken. If he called things would never be the same again. I would not trust him the way I did before, and I would always be anticipating the snapping, or the rudeness when he answered the phone. I would be always missing the nice man he was, and the amazing times we spent together or on the phone or chatting. A relationship must not be about fearing or feeling insecure or arguing all the time. and that's the way ours was the last few weeks before it all ended. A healthy relationship should make you feel fulfilled and happy, and ours made me feel down. At some degree I'm glad it ended. I will miss him of course, but what's the point of clinging to someone or something that only brings tears to your eyes? The more I think about him and what happened, the less I want to hear from him again and I've even thought that I couldn't care less about how things go for him. What's happening to me?
  7. WorkoutAddict
    You tell me
  8. WorkoutAddict
    Coyote Thank you I am really not going to contact him at all, ever. Last night I was thinking that I don't need his apologies and I don't give a damn about what he thinks of me. I gave 101% of myself in this relationship as I always do, I gave him time, support, love, everything I could; I was always there for him, when he wanted not to talk about a specific subject I gave him space and respected his decision until he felt like talking about it. I was a good girlfriend. It's his loss and he knows it. My pain is turning into anger and my best way to let it out is at the gym, which is my addiction I do appreciate your advice! Waterbaby can cool down and come to his senses, as you say, but I'm in NC until Christmas, I don't want him back... I never did anything to deserve that rude treatment and he knows that. And as I mentioned before too, if he thinks I'm going to call, text message or email him again, he can definitely get a comfortable chair, go rent a long movie and get himself a big bag of popcorn because it's going to be a very long (indefinite, rather) wait for him. Cletharin big hug...
  9. WorkoutAddict
    ...and it might have gotten worse in time. Maybe it wouldn't push him, but me, farther away. Maybe I shouldn't have called, but I think I did the right thing calling and apologizing since it was my fault when we argued. It was his choice to be rude instead of accepting my apologies. I was hoping that he would call and say "I'm sorry" and he hasn't; so I can't even think of getting back to someone who has more pride than love for me (after all didn't he say that he turned off the "love switch"?). Anyway, since day 1 of NC, he is not part of my plans either. He hurt me more than enough already. By this I'm just sparing myself more pain and preserving my dignity. Sorry, I needed to vent :sad:
  10. WorkoutAddict
    That's why I'm at Day 7 What would you have done in my case?
  11. WorkoutAddict
    Not mad at him. I just don't understand his reaction, and I asked him for a break because he had been keeping that rude attitude lately; when he answered the phone it was now "what's up" snapping at me, instead of the "hi, baby, how are you?", and it was not because he had had a hard day; if this is how he is going to be in the future (if he gets back), honestly, I'd think it twice. Or thrice. His harsh attitude had been going on for several weeks and I don't deserve that, much less when I called to apologize. Many times I've told myself that I shouldn't have called and left things that way instead.
  12. WorkoutAddict
    Well... I will give him more space than he ever imagined, to cool off or whatever. I don't understand his reaction or why he changed so much. I told him many times that I wouldn't let him treat me this way and he kept doing it until I got tired and asked him for a break. I know that if he wants to talk to me, he will call... but I'm not sure that I want to talk to him.
  13. WorkoutAddict
    Well, since we had argued I called him to apologize, and when he picked up the phone he said "who is this?" and when I told him it was me, he said "what are you calling for? Don't call me anymore and if you do I will turn off the phone". Me: "I just wanted to apologize because I am traveling tomorrow and I don't want to leave being mad at you" Him: "Didn't you make clear that you wanted a break? Well, you have it. You're on your own now and you're not part of my plans anymore" Me: "Let me speak one minute. I know that I have made many mistakes but all these months together mean something to me, don't they mean anything to you" Him: "They did but not now. I don't love you anymore" Me: "All of a sudden? Wow, why don't you give me the magic recipe because I don't feel that way" Him: "It's just like turning a switch off" Me: "Ok. Anyway I just wanted to say I'm sorry, I didn't want to leave without making peace with you" Him: "We will talk tomorrow, I am not in the mood now" Visualize this with him yelling all the time and hanging up after saying "not in the mood now". He also said things like "I don't know who or what or how the f*** you are" and such and such. That was it
  14. WorkoutAddict
    Day 7 Today I couldn't help recalling that last Tuesday by this time I was drowning in tears because my ex had told me the most painful words he had ever told me. I have been kind of blue all day long and my hope to hear the phone ring and his voice saying "I'm sorry" after I pickup is more and more pale each day and, strange as it may seem, I don't feel the urge of calling him, maybe because if I call I will hear the same rude words or maybe just the busy signal that means that he hung up. I wonder, more and more now, where the sweet and loving man I met 15 months ago is now, the man who would have rather died before hurting me. In which part of the road did we lose each other? Where did the "I love you" that we said to each other before hanging up to start our day or to go to sleep become routine instead of the "butterflies" in our stomach? Is his behavior the past days the reason why I am not drowning in tears today? Fineberg: As long as you keep a cold head and an objective perspective, it will be fine. Just don't let that "inner tiny hope" grab you
  15. WorkoutAddict
    Personally if I had contact with my ex I maybe would have an "inner and small" hope that things would be nice again and that eventually he would be back... what were your thoughts when you called her, and when she called you?
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