waterbaby07

I have to disagree with the posters who says that it's in his past so it's not your problem. He has brought his past into YOUR PRESENT. Even though you were the one to ask him the personal question, it is something he should have forewarned you about before you met the women. I know that most men don't want the drama (or don't see the harm in introducing casual sex partners to their girlfriend), but in my opinion it's very rude. These are not people you should be hanging out with- who the heck wants to chat with a girl who knows what your boyfriend looks like naked? I put myself in that situation a long time ago and tried to be mature about it. It only came back to bite me in the bum and my ex ended up ceasing contact with the entire group. It's clear the situation is bothering you- you have come online for advice about it! I would not dump my boyfriend, but i would not spend another minute with these women. You can simply say that you're not comfortable in the situation and choose not to be with him when he hangs around with these "friends." Believe me- the more time you spend with them, the more it will eat you alive.

Day 21: I made it 3 weeks and Im really proud of myself! Still having thoughts of what he'll be doing on the holiday today (BBQ, drinking with friends, probably hooking up with a girl Sorry for the negativity! I really can't think that way, huh? Im going to enjoy myself with my family and think happy thoughts.

Day 17: Holding up well here at home with the family. Im so thankful for them. I talk about him everyday- good memories mostly. Because he didn't meet my family i almost feel like our relationship wasn't that important, even though we lived together and dated almost one year. Funny though, I feel like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was so unsure about him and our future together. I would have ended up the breadwinner, catering to his friends who were his entire life. He was never able to reassure me and say, "honey, we can do this as long as we do it together." No confidence whatsoever. Such a gentle soul, but i need someone with strength, someone who can overcome the hardships that life and relationships throw at us. I do feel so lonely, but im really going to take this time to do things i've been putting off for the last year. Congrats to those of you who have made it past 30 days! the first month is definitely the hardest.

Day 16: One piece of advice to any of you to help heal: TRAVEL. I don't care if you're broke. Throw it on a credit card. Get the heck away from the environment that reminds of you the ex. Im visiting home for the next two weeks and it's been absolutely WONDERFUL!!!! He never met my family so nothing here reminds me of him. This is the happiest i've been since the break-up in April. Yeah, i talk to my siblings constantly of him, but i haven't cried over him in two days. If I saw him right now I wouldn't even be able to look at him- im disgusted and saddened by the way he acted in the end. I deserve 100 hundred times better. For those of you who are confused by your ex's actions: He or she MUST say, "Im sorry, I made a mistake. Let's work on this." or "i want you back, let's try again." Otherwise, they're calling you because they're lonely, miss your attention, miss the sex, etc, NOT because they want to get back together. Protect yourself, protect your feelings because they're sure as heck not going to (THEY dumped US, remember?) Be strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Start of 2 weeks! Wow. 2 weeks. extremely difficult, but im still here! WorkoutAddict: My feelings about my ex are so similar to yours. The way he acted during our break-up was awful. Such coldness- both in his demeanor and in his eyes. I saw no spark of love at all. I had to drive past the neighborhood we lived in together today (no way around it) and i felt such a burst of sadness, I thought my heart would drop to the ground. I got teary eyed a few times today, but i also got angry. If i saw him right now i wouldn't even be able to stand to look at him. I realize how dissatisfied i was with the relationship too and even though i voiced this to him, he decided he didn't love me enough to work on things- he wanted out. Honestly, im glad i learned this about him now. When i think of him sleeping or hooking up with other women i get upset, but then i think to myself, "the sex he has with these women will be meaningless. I won't put myself in a situation like that. The next person I'm with physically will be a wonderful man who cares for me and wants to be in a long, healthy relationship." I'm leaving the area I live in for the next few weeks for vacation and im sooo excited.

So it's almost midnight here, the beginning of Day 13 The weirdest feeling came over me today while I was studying at the library at school. I actually felt sorry for him. I felt so happy and lucky to be at a famous university, working on a grad degree that will give me a nice career and title. I have a bright future ahead of me- and i feel like it's his loss that he doesn't want to be a part of it. I did cry a few times today over him. I made the mistake of looking at some pics- happy times. I hate this- i feel like im bi-polar! Good news though- im going away for a few weeks and getting far far away from all this. I'm so excited! Cletharin: YIKES! Celeste: Your ex sounds a little like mine- he was sooo angry at me because of our last fight. He kept saying he wasn't angry but his actions told me otherwise. he broke up with me about a week after the fight. it took a couple weeks for him to even look at me again (we continued to live together for about 6 weeks) and this is only because i was really sweet to him. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do- be sweet and nice to someone who was being cold to me. It kinda worked. He was flirty and friendly toward the end of my stay there, but still adamant that I wasn't happy with him and that we should go on our separate ways. Sometimes people just need time to cool down and come to their senses again. Like everyone else is saying, remain in NC and hopefully he'll come around (if that's what you want).

End of Day 11and oh my god, it feels like a lifetime. busy all day today thank goodness. came home to some nice emails from my sister and an admirer!!! He's really cute- i saw his pic online and wrote to him. Not really interested in anything, but it's nice to know there are people who find me attractive during this "im ugly, nobody loves me, im so depressed" phase of my life. Talked about HIM to my friends at lunch. I had a dream/nightmare that HE was bragging to me about how many women's numbers he had obtained since our break-up. In my dream i cried and cried. I was so relieved to wake up. Lizer: I'm interested in why he would read your Xanga everyday too?! Have you thought of blocking him? My ex was so upset that I deleted him from my myspace page (which is private). He dumped me so i feel he has no right to know what's going on in my life anymore. TMinCali: One of my biggest fears is that my ex has already hooked up with someone. He's really good looking and women basically throw themselves at him. The only thing i can do to make myself feel better is say to myself, "why would i want a man who would hook up with some chic right after he breaks up with me?" I feel the same way you do though- not even close to wanting to be with someone else right now. I must admit though, it's nice getting hit on and thinking of all the possibilities that await me. Kgirl: Good for you! I wonder how he felt coming into an empty apt? Workout Addict: Im thinking the same exact things! We can rent a movie and eat popcorn together while WE wait, but then again, we may be eating popcorn forever! Onward to Day 12.......

The beginning of Day 10: Wow, I made it this far already. So hard. I've cried every day so far (and Im honestly sooo tired of it). I haven't laughed a real laugh in god knows how long. My smiles are forced. I wonder if he knows how much pain I'm in- or if he thinks i've just moved on. I deleted him from my myspace page. In turn he has deleted my friends from his. So childish- this game we're playing. I'm starting to forget his face already. I'm in a completely new area- nothing here reminds me of him. He's on my mind every minute of the day. I feel so pathetic- this shouldn't be happening at age 30! Coyote: Im so impressed you were able to go out and listen to the music and eat dinner alone. I have to learn to be comfortable doing things on my own! Sillygoose: Whenever you get the urge to write an email to him open up a word document and type it all down. Save it to your computer but DO NOT SEND IT. I did this today and it helped me tremendously. BrokenBear: I'm forcing myself to remember the bad so i can justify no contact. I need to remind myself that i can never be with someone who could be so heartless to me. Love is not cruel and cold. There is someone out there who will be absolutely crazy about you and will never hurt you. We all need to remember to come back to this site and post when that time comes along.

Day 7- Feeling crappy because I got an email from OUR old roommate. A friend left something there while helping me move out and i have to go pick it up. I told the roommate to leave it in the back so i don't have to knock on the door and see HIM. I also need to pick up my mail- which still isn't getting forwarded to my new place! I deleted him as a myspace friend today. Very childish, but it helps me tremendously. Now i can't visit his website obsessively and feel awful afterwards. I wish i could delete all of his friends too. I still can't believe all of this is happening. To make matters worse i have the worst toothache ever (long story about that). I literally was in tears yesterday and Im usually really good about sucking up the pain. Eating ibuprofen and tylenol like candy. Im proud of all of you for making it this far. Dunzo- i don't know how you handle seeing the new girl. I would die right there. Im jealous simply of the fact that my ex is single and able to meet anyone he wants right now. I know that tons of girls are going to want him because he's really handsome and one of those quiet types. Good day everyone. May the force of non-communication with the exes be with you!

Day 3 for me and it's MOVE-OUT DAY! Got the moving truck and lots of bodies ready to pack my things for my new apartment. I haven't seen him since we said good-bye on wed. He's off on a vacation with friends. My friends have been such a tremendous support- i don't know what i would do without them. It was hard being in the house yesterday- so many memories. I would love to be a fly on the wall and see his reaction when he comes home and sees all my stuff gone. I wonder if he will be relieved or actually sad? DUNZO! I have a myspace too- and he's my "friend" on it. I thought about deleting him, but thought it would be childish. I don't have him on my "top" anymore- that way i don't see his profile pic and click on it. My status is "single" now. Amazing how hard it was to change that. I'll post more later- gotta go MOVE!

Day 1- I'm in! (the exclamation point makes me look too enthusiastic). Im sick of crying, sick of seeing him and wanting to touch him and kiss him. Sick of being with someone who has been cold to me for the last 6 weeks even though we were still living together. He said, "someone needs to be strong and end this!" Whatever! I said good-bye to him yesterday and told him if he misses me and wants to reconcile to give me a call, but otherwise- NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER! I'm moving my stuff out this weekend into my own place, but he's going to be away (luckily) so i won't see him. Even though im 30, im scared to begin this new life- this life alone, in my own place- and im excited- excited to become strong again, to make myself happy and healthy- to exercise and get myself into the best shape of my life. Unlike my past break-ups im not going to rush into the arms of another man! This time is for ME!!! (also, i still love him deeply even though he doesn't deserve it!) I cried this morning- the thought of not seeing him is torture- and then i went out to my car and found a $50 ticket- i forgot about crying over him and started crying over my ticket! haha. Anyhow, let the challenge begin! P.S. Congrats ANDY!