THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[rsxguy520]

hey everyone. its like 8x something for me, and i really don't count anymore, i just know im in full NC mode. i decided to post because today at school some weird stuff happened. walking from my apartment to school i saw some chick sitting on the bench, who looked like my ex. weird stuff i thought she was here, and i immediately gave a what the **** response. turns out it wasn't her..funny. then as soon as i got out of class i saw her car parked out at the lot, but i knew it couldn't be her cause of the rear view mirror i gave her. 2nd strike, not cool. so yeah through out the day i thought GOD was seriously playing a joke on me or something, cause today was just so random all this stuff happened. well anyways, school is alright. still a bit in isolation mode haven't really made friends, but you know, i'm working on it. i thought today was just completely absurd..oh well.

[Tshwane]

Day 7 - in my second cycle(went back after 40 days and it didn't work out), this time im not breaking it. I will not even call on her birthday because it will set me back.

[misskitty]

Back to day 1 AGAIN!! Ok. Everything was going great yesterday until I decided to email him about my stuff. I found out I have legal recourse to get my stuff back as well as his share of the bills, and possibly the medical bills and the door he busted open and broke.

I must stay strong today, and go from there. Today I just feel physically ill from all the stress. I am going to meditation this week which I have been looking forward to doing.

[houdini]

Day 43

 

Has been a roller coaster of a ride these past 43 days. One minute I feel strong and she's not as great as I had previously portrayed her to be. Then there are other days where I miss her tremendously and want to reach out to her because I've put her back on the pedestal. At this point I'm a bit confused as to what to do, do I keep moving forward with my healing (which seems like a slow process) or do I reach out to the stubborn as a mule ex that I have. It's all confusing to me how a person can treat someone they love as if they've dropped off the face of the earth, and that goes for the both of us..... Me and my ex are both doing NC and 43 days into it, when will it ever end!

 

Houdini

[papalazarou]

Day 43

 

Has been a roller coaster of a ride these past 43 days. One minute I feel strong and she's not as great as I had previously portrayed her to be. Then there are other days where I miss her tremendously and want to reach out to her because I've put her back on the pedestal. At this point I'm a bit confused as to what to do, do I keep moving forward with my healing (which seems like a slow process) or do I reach out to the stubborn as a mule ex that I have. It's all confusing to me how a person can treat someone they love as if they've dropped off the face of the earth, and that goes for the both of us..... Me and my ex are both doing NC and 43 days into it, when will it ever end!

 

Houdini

 

 

I feel the same

[macgyver4ever]

Day 14

 

I felt great yesterday. I stayed busy, tried to stay away from ENA and was not depressed most of the day. Then this morning I have one of the most vivid dreams about my ex. She was back in my life, and I look at ther. It was so real, I could see the exactly the way the light reflects in her dark brown eyes, and the way seeing her face makes me feel. It was AWFUL, because it felt so good. As you can imagine, I feel like crap now.

 

I watched the movie "STRANGER THAN FICTION" last night and I highly recommend it. It is not funny at all. It is good, and made me feel good about my situation. Also, all of the Dustin Hoffman scenes were shot at my College.

 

Hopefully if I stay busy again today I will feel ok. I tried calling that girl I hoped to see today and she didn't answer. I might try calling later today, but don't want to seem desperate.

 

Papa and Houdini,

We are all three in the same boat. We are all nice guys, and are ex's, as poorly as they have acted, were good people. They do not want us to feel any more pain, and know that as hard as it is for them too, not talking to us is the best thing they can do. I'm sure they are consumed with guilt at times, and want to call to sooth their guilt, but don't because they have already been selfish enough. Worry about healing yourself, and at some point when you are strong enough to not care about her as much, you can make contact. Do it at a time when you have moved on, and are in a good place, if at all. If they break up, rest assured that their self esteem will be so low they will contact us to make them feel better, and it is at that point when you can decide if you want to be their CRUTCH.

 

Yes I miss my ex, and yes I do want her back in my life, but at what cost? I already lost myself once, and can never do that again. It's been almost 2 months since the end, and I still have recovered myself yet. Find yourself, and then you will know what you want, and need from life.

 

 

Today I feel: Confident, Determined, Depressed, and Not Hungover!!!!!

[MissIndigo]

Day 9...hopefully having a dream in which an idea of the ex appeared doesn't count towards setting back the clock!

 

In the dream I was traveling with a group of friends and he was supposed to meet us a travel with us. Of course, he didn't show up, yet we looked and looked and looked. This is the fifth dream I've had in which I've felt lost somewhere, only this time I didn't feel lost in an enclosed place, this time I felt lost on roads out in open fields. Hmm.

 

Interesting how though in each dream his presense becomes a more nebulous, less-well defined entity. Hopefully that's a sign that my subconscious is moving on from this.

 

Still feeling bewildered and angry, also something between love and hate. Feels like hell. :sad:

[ExarionUniverse19]

I've been gone for 3 days -- at a friend's house over the weekend, and I was just plain busy yesterday! Still thought about her quite a bit, but they weren't all sad thoughts.

 

Day 5

 

Not much happening here. Didn't think about her much, went over to my friend's house and went bowling -- that was fun.

 

Day 6

 

Went bowling again... and slept over at my friend's house for the second night in a row. I had a good thinking session about her that night, thinking about how silly it was to have plans for next year. I'll be over her by then, and we'll see each other in a completely different way. I'm happy to say that I probably won't want her again next year.

 

Day 7

 

It was a nice day, so I went outside and played tennis for awhile, then watched baseball and the NCAA championship game, so I didn't have time to come on eNotAlone.

 

So I'm still thinking about her, but NC is very easy now due to Spring Break and all. Occasionally a good memory of our relationship will come into my head, and I'll feel sad... but then when that memory comes again the next day, I won't feel sad anymore, because that memory has already done its worst. I'm not super happy right now, but things are going well, as I've completed one week of strict NC.

[supercalifragilistic]

Day 5

 

I feel like crap. I just want to talk to him and see him again. But we broke up so he could be sure of what he wanted (by seeing other people, how nice) so I have to realize that's what he'll be doing and if I call him it'll ruin everything and he won't have the chance to do these thing and the doubts he has will remain.

 

Also, I want HIM to call me and tell me he wants to get back toghether. And if I go and talk to him again wanting to get back toghether I won't know that he really wanted it.

 

On day one I was so sure he'd come back. Now I don't know anything anymore. I don't want to just sit around and wait for him to make up his mind but I can't seem to do anything else. Everything sucks right now =(

[honeyspur]

 

Today I feel: Confident, Determined, Depressed, and Not Hungover!!!!!

 

 

WOOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!! This is good news!! (minus the depressed )

[andy5128]

Stick with it Supercali..

 

Update from me, after my 18 month relationship which ended officially end of Jan been in contact(from me) the last couple of weeks. Well full no contact since Friday last week so today is day 5.. Feeling ok today and not too bad the last few days surprisingly and catching up with a former female work colleague next week..! Not seen her in 5 years but kept in touch via the occasional email over the years! So look forward to it and something to focus on. Wish me luck for when we meet wednesday next week!

[lady00]

Annoyed today. Got a bit jealous of a couple of new couples that have developed within my circle of friends. I know I should be happy for them but I am jealous. *Sighs* Wish I could be a better person than this!

[andy5128]

Hi Lady00

I know how you feel just a few weeks ago a friend invited me to go for a meal and everyone else was all coupled up apart from me. I got through it but afterwards I felt lousy.. It does get better Lady00 so keep focussing on YOU as it's you that counts the most! Take Care..

[Wandering_Sword]

Total NC time: Four months

 

Strict NC time: Three months

 

Last contact with ex: Five days ago

 

Still feeling good and going about my life without any problems.

[thelonelydoll]

Day 3, formerly known as Day 18

 

As I posted before, the ex sent me an email yesterday, which got through the filters I set up. It was the most self-serving piece of baloney and only served to re-affirm all the reasons I don't ever want to have contact with that creep again. My initial emotional reaction was a desire to reply, but I waited, and talked with friends, and remained steadfast in the end. I didn't sleep well last night, but I think that was more to do with other anxieties: an upcoming move, work stuff, formulating my ND plans.

 

Today, I still feel somewhat angry, but also relieved.

[lady00]

Day 15 of LC. Everything was going well then suddenly today I felt badly again. Crying a lot. Couldn't do my work. Angry at him. Miss him. All these horrible jumbled up emotions.

[solarplexus]

Lady00,

Very natural and very humanly. That was how I felt 2 weeks ago. You've done a lot already. Please go ahead and reach me. I am here waiting for you.

Good luck.

[kate111]

2 months. I moved house. Was extremely sad to be closing the door of our life together shut.

 

But now feel good that I am in a new environment with new things to discover. A new era on my own.

[bear12]

i have some sort of weird three week problem..(we've been broken up for 3 1/2 months but didn't start NC until mid feb.) i made it 3 1/2 weeks with no contact then broke it for a phone call that went really well (but at the same time totally set me back afterwards! he said NC was really hard for him too, but what's the point of telling me that when he doesn't want to be with me!! geez!) anyway, now it's been almost 3 more weeks since and i'm going a bit stir crazy again.. and am thinking about him waaaay too much.. i think not contacting him makes me more obsessed with him in a way... but at the same time, if i talked to him and heard him sounding happy and moved on i think that'd just make me even more miserable. it's like a lose/lose situation.. this sucks

[supercalifragilistic]

Back to square one. Broke down and called him.

 

There was this big storm here tonight, all the lights were out and I can barely see when I'm driving in these conditions. So I decided I'd call him to drive me home (he goes to the same college as me but takes the bus). I'm not gonna lie and say that the only reason I called him was because it seemed safer for him to drive, but yeah, had it not been for the rain I wouldn't have called.

 

Sad thing is I'm happy I called him, we kissed again, he says he hates the way he is (no knowing what the hell he wants), said he really wanted to kiss me again, but it wouldn't be fair. And I wanted that too. So eventually we kissed.

 

I'm weak, what can I do. I can tell he still likes me a lot, that's conforting.

 

But I probably made a mistake. Shouldn't have broken NC and much less put myself in a postion where I'd let him kiss me. We'll see what happens. I'll be starting over today.

 

So, day one! Easy so far, I'm still happy about what happened today. And more motivated to go through with this, because I'm pretty sure he'll be thinking about me most of the time.

[ExarionUniverse19]

Day 8

 

Moving into the second week of strict NC... and feeling better. I still miss her, would like things to be the way they were before... but I don't want her back. At least not in my head. I know that there's no reason to battle with another relationship at this point. I won't do it until I'm healed. And that's only if she shows signs of liking ME.

 

And if that's going to happen... it will happen next year, when we rejoin the extracurricular activity that brought us together this year. We'll have gone through many changes by then... and if a relationship is meant to happen, it will happen then. But a minor problem here is that I keep thinking about next year, about whether she'll like me then, about how she'll be judging me... even though I know I won't immediately have feelings for her then! So, in a way, that is keeping me from saying "it's over, move on". But I feel good about it, so maybe I'm doing just fine.

 

But from the looks of it, 30 days of NC should be a walk in the park... and unless I'm positive we've both completely healed, I'm not going to quit. I may be doing NC until next school year. Of course, I won't see it as NC after awhile. I'll see it as living a normal day, a day before we even knew each other.

[Rosie007]

Day 50

 

Time is just racing by right now. I'm exhausted. Worked a 14.5 hour day and then the bus got help up by traffic jam, so it took me almost hour to get home (for a 12-mile drive). No time to think of ex today.

 

-Rosie

[bear12]

rosie-

 

you're always working so hard and so long! i'm glad it's a good distraction, though!! hopefully once in a while you have time for non work related distractions too!

[papalazarou]

Very, very, true Mac.

[macgyver4ever]

Day 15

 

So yesterday SUCKED!!!!!

 

I summarize quickly since I have a thread "Letting Go of Hope" that talks all about this awful day.

 

While cleaning I stumbled on some of my ex's stuff. Since it was already bringing up bad memories, I figured, let's just get it all done with. I went through the big box of "our stuff" and threw out things, kept what I wanted, and put all her stuff in a box that I would return at a later date. I stumbled on mementos that made me cry, and it was hard.

 

I ended up calling her parents to wish them a Happy Easter. Her mom told me my ex had moved out. After I got off the phone, I decided then to return the stuff to her parents house since my ex was gone. No use putting off the inevitable. So I did, and it was emotional. Her parents and I were close, and knew this was goodbye. Lots of crying, and hugs.

 

I got home, and was very sad, but at the same time relieved to have it over. I felt that this was a step in the right direction, and still feel that way.

 

Later in the night I get an email from my ex, extremely upset that I saw her parents without asking permission and telling me how my relationship with them has caused her stress and resentment on both sides. I agree I got too close, but I meant no harm. She asked me to no longer contact them, and I will obey her wish.

 

I don't know if I will write back or not. Probably not. I don't feel I need to apologize for returning her stuff. I needed to move on with my life because she cheated on me and found someone else. She hurt me, and should apologize for that.

 

So as many of you know, I want my ex back, but feel that I have blown my chances now.

 

 

So today I feel: Like S***, Depressed, Sad, Drained, and Empty.