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Wandering_Sword last won the day on April 29 2007

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About Wandering_Sword

  • Birthday 08/19/1973

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  1. Don't fret too much about it, your fine. But you shouldn't be cruising to his page though *tsk tsk* BTW, this is a great discussion thread.
  2. I hope you feel better brother. That is some monumental pain you went through. I would be a puddle after going through all that.
  3. This is one helluva experience you have presented here. I have never seen so much detail or perseverance to a thread. Even Super Dave's have not exhibited such longevity. Your journey has definitely made travelling mine a lot easier. Thanks.
  4. Use this opportunity to re-affirm your love for your daughter. And explain that he still loves her, but now you will love her for the both of you. No point explaining where the ex is. First and foremost, take care of your daughter and yourself. Your daughter relies on you for support. "Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children." Remember this well. Good luck and keep strong.
  5. He dumped you and is accusing you of using your own daughter for your own benefit? If your ex really had a connection with her (the child) he would never accuse you of that. He would know that you are telling the truth and would not question it. I would maintain NC and explain to the child that the ex is not coming back. There is no point in delaying the transfer of information. Prolonging it or lying to her will just make things worse for everybody involved.
  6. Congratulations I hope the best for you and your significant other.
  7. If you're already trying to do everything in your power to keep occupied and he is still on your mind, the only thing I could suggest is when he does pop up in your head make an effort to think of something else. I know its hard but now its going to be a test of your willpower. As for the birthday thing, don't bother with it. He left, hooked-up with another girl and said all that crap about you; he doesn't deserve any of your consideration. Keep strong and I believe in your strength. If he pops into your head post here or PM one of us, we can talk you through it.
  8. Have you thought about counseling instead of breaking up. Are you guys having communication problems?
  9. Hmmm... in that case she may be reacting on the principle of "not knowing what you have until you've lost it." In her case, she should be on NC to figure herself out. You can help by not contacting her or keep on LC (your ex sounded suicidal, don't know degree though) so that way she knows you're there and loneliness or rejection won't overtake her.
  10. Welcome to ENA I wanted to ask, did she break up with you or did you break up with her (sounds like she's the dumper)? Have either one of you tried to get back together to work things out? What about counseling? Right now, it sounds like you both need NC to clear your heads so that both of you can look at the whole situation objectively. From the sounds of it both of you are still very much in love, but it's being clouded by the ex's (?) perception of the "spark." This spark is usually going to be there in the beginning or after each re-connection, but will fade and that is where the true test of love is. After that love becomes a very different type of "spark" altogether. It becomes profound and is no longer the original "spark" but evolved. People who are stuck on the initial excitement and thrill will find it hard to live in a relationship without constant exposure to that original "spark." This sounds like what is happening here. I think helping your partner realize changes in the relationship will be beneficial. Good luck and keep posting. Myself or others will try our best to help you.
  11. I have a blog that I post stuff to and found it therapeutic to just write stuff. Initially, I used to write about the ex, but after three months of NC from her (she dumped me) I stopped altogether. I look back on all the stuff I wrote and gradually what I didn't and could see progress with myself. It was like a journal and even a tracker for me to see how I've changed my thinking on the situation. Incidentally, the ex still goes to my site on a daily basis (3-5 times) and even up to 17 times a day!!! Go figure...
  12. Good to hear from you. I hope you and the children are doing well.
  13. Sounds like he needs or wants some space to sort himself out. I recommend giving it to him. As for the friends part, that is entirely dependent on your comfort level being a friend to him. For me, I could not be a friend with my ex because I couldn't bear to see her with anyone else other then me and I know how much it would devastate me to see her move on without me. So I could not be friends with my ex. If you can see yourself dealing with that type of information then by all means remain in contact. Honestly though, it sounds like he is looking for some space. Good luck and keep posting, myself or others on the forum will try to help you as best we can
  14. Mine have been pretty bland. Its just me and her having a conversation. But the voices are so vivid that I swear she was in the same room talking to me when I wake up.
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