THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[MasterT]

My ex still has all of my photos up, which is weird because she is in a serious relationship already. Crazy coward.

 

You know what fascinates me? My ex still has a picture of us together up on her facebook. Why do exes do that? Either way I deactivated my facebook account because of the effect it was having on me.

[ASHAN4U]

Master T... that is so funny you say that about the picture b/c for the last 6 months that I been broken up with my ex, he still has our pictures up in his living room. (yeah I've gone by his house just to look). Maybe it's just laziness.

Well my ex was here at my work location today on business and low and behold he stops by my desk, says he likes what I did with my hair and said he would call me later. He's predictable... he won't call. I guess that's what I need b/c I prob will answer the phone if he did. NC is hard!

[MasterT]

While laziness is possible, nothing has ever added up when she broke up with me.

 

A day or two after the breakup she calls begging me to let her get a copy of all the pictures of us together, and she changes her facebook profile picture, but never deletes the one with us together.

 

Nothing makes sense, but as I've learned from reading SuperDave71's posts and others.... DON'T READ INTO IT!

 

NC is hard!

 

Ain't it the truth!!!

[ruby19]

Day 28, ex is really at me "we have to talk about ways I can make it easier for you to work together again."

 

All I want to say is PFO with the holier than thou, sanctimonius crap and go hang out with your horse, I mean girlfriend.

 

Is it bad I'm getting a lot of satisfaction that I think the silence on my end is driving him nuts? Must be in a vengeful stage. Not sure if the NC is healing. I was feeling positive last week, but the last few days have been bad.](*,)

[Scrembledeggs]

You know what fascinates me? My ex still has a picture of us together up on her facebook. Why do exes do that? Either way I deactivated my facebook account because of the effect it was having on me.

 

Ditto, and ditto...one of the only things that I was still allowing to bother me last week was facebook...I wasn't "supposed to be" checking up on her at all, but even clicking to see more pictures of myself linked to SEVERAL of her pictures that are still labeled "I love you" and such...cuts into me like a friggin knife!!

 

So in a moment of strength and resolve, I deactivated my account with no intention to reactivate it any time soon (also now pushing a month AIM free).

 

Something's not right this week, though...don't know what it is. Last week I was moving on and never looking back. Now I'm....I'm thinking about it a lot more than I would like to be.

 

Day 20NC

[MasterT]

Ditto, and ditto...one of the only things that I was still allowing to bother me last week was facebook...I wasn't "supposed to be" checking up on her at all, but even clicking to see more pictures of myself linked to SEVERAL of her pictures that are still labeled "I love you" and such...cuts into me like a friggin knife!!

 

So in a moment of strength and resolve, I deactivated my account with no intention to reactivate it any time soon (also now pushing a month AIM free).

 

Something's not right this week, though...don't know what it is. Last week I was moving on and never looking back. Now I'm....I'm thinking about it a lot more than I would like to be.

 

Day 20NC

 

Strangest thing riiiight? This is why I deactivated my account also. I don't have to worry about AIM because of it's block feature, heheh. Also she historically has rarely ever been on AIM, so no worries for me.

 

One of these days I'd love to know why exes do that... Why they leave those memories so open and visible for us to see. You'd think they would take them down since they claim to have moved on... I'd love to get in the mind of a dumper and try to find out why they do this. *Pulls out brain probe device*

[macgyver4ever]

I don't understand why they leave that stuff up either. The night I knew it was over between us I took everything down and hid it. When my ex and I were in counseling, the therapist TOLD my ex to TAKE DOWN THE PHOTOS. She didn't do it, but she also took none of the other advice she paid for.

 

I hope she is doing to either torture herself or because it will maker her too sad. It is probably laziness. She still has up Titanic posters in her room from 10 years ago.

 

argh!

[lovesickkk]

Day 1 went suprisingly bad, although I did have 2 beers to go to sleep,

Today is Day 2, I have a major test tomorrow in Systems pathology, so hopefully that should detract my attention from her. Good luck guys!

[MasterT]

I don't understand why they leave that stuff up either. The night I knew it was over between us I took everything down and hid it. When my ex and I were in counseling, the therapist TOLD my ex to TAKE DOWN THE PHOTOS. She didn't do it, but she also took none of the other advice she paid for.

 

I hope she is doing to either torture herself or because it will maker her too sad. It is probably laziness. She still has up Titanic posters in her room from 10 years ago.

 

argh!

 

That's my philosophy! When it's over, it's over. Take down everything regarding the relationship and hide it, because dwelling on the past isn't going to help you. I don't do this out of being mean or hateful to my ex, I do it because I love her, and I want to make sure I don't do anything stupid to make things worse. It's also how I've learned to cope and move on with my life.

 

All I know is that the nature of my breakup was and still is strange. But I refuse to bend over to bring her back into my life. If she loves me, she'll come back to me without my influence, and that's my philosophy.

[Semid]

Day 15th. Today I have been very picky. I have started to realize that he really DUMPED ME!!! GRRRRRR.... He is no changing his mind, so I can be proud and wear the crown of MISS UNIVERSE in my head while looking down to him, poor mortal (fantasies) ha ha.

I started an argument with two of my colleagues at work. And my female colleague said. Hey, you are not this way, you are nice and caring, so forget about that a****le and be nice with us.

They started then making laughs about me, my moods, and my failed romance, and I had to follow them, and their jokes, so I ended up having a very nice time at work.

 

sigh.

[broken7]

Day 1 almost over...its not been horrible, had my moments where I missed him and wanted to cry, but I didn't, stayed strong, and kept my self occupied.

[sunday13]

Day whatever...

 

He texted me "happy birthday" saturday. sunday i texted back "thanks "

 

It had been over a month since he had texted saying he wanted to be able to talk soon enough.

 

Guess he is hurting too... his best friend picked up my $300 birthday dinner tab though!

 

Guess it will be another month before I get another text...or it could be never. I have been seeing a guy for the past few weeks... he is smart, handsome, has an awesome job, treats me really well... problem is, we just don't have good chemistry and he barely asks about me... seems he is a little more interested in impressing me than learning about me.

 

Oh well, we'll see! He wants me to go with him to his ski home in Breckenridge. How bad could that be?

[mariab.]

Day 28 for me.Its ok I feel like a survivor in some ways. I am halfway to letting him go-just..got.to..get..there!

[rsxguy520]

day 59..felt like jack black in orange county..sat around my house all day and just ate. haha. so very relaxing. plus no more limbos too! =). well tomorrow is orientation day for school. hopefully i meet new and exciting people (preferabbly girls).

[ahhh2jz]

Day 61 NC - feeling tired and trying to study. The mood swings I get sometimes are starting to dwindle down and god I hope it stays that way. I haven't bumped into her at school yet; I wonder how that will feel when that day comes. I'm always ready though, always trying to look/stay sharp. keep going evetyone.

[Rosie007]

Day 22

 

I'm exhausted, but I am feeling better, healthwise. My schedule is getting back to normal, but I'm still tired all the time (I know I need more rest), plus I think my medicine causes me to sleep harder and longer.

 

Still feeling pretty level / detached re ex. He's never far from my thoughts, and so many things remind me of him, the feelings raised are minimal.

 

-Rosie

[Rosie007]

Day 22 (still)

 

I'm sooo tired but I keep denying myself bed.

 

I'm not having strong feelings about Rex per se, but it downed on me I'm actually very sad, I feel a lot of stress (mostly job related), and I realized I'm back to my old ways before I went out with Rex, where the big event of my evening is what I'm going to eat for dinner.

 

I don't want to live this way anymore.

 

I realized I've been sick and almost completely isolated since we broke up, but I remember something I used to think to myself all the time when times were bad with him.

 

I was happier with him during the bad times, then I was alone. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired of being alone.

 

I'm actually very upset as I'm writing, I've gotten a headache from sobbing so hard.

 

And another thing, the whole time I was with him, because he always declared his inability to be in a committed relationship because he'd just gotten out of an intense relationship in which he loved deeply the woman he was with, I made a deal with my therapist that I would sign up on a dating site and not stop looking to meet someone because of the circumstances with Rex.

 

In six months, I've yet to meet a single man in person. Ninety percent of the time guys don't respond to my e-mail, and I'm almost never contacted.

 

I'm going to save the rest of the way I feel -- so negative about myself -- for my therapist.

 

But, the thing is, it took me 44 years to have my first adult relationship. Truth is, deep down, and I know this sounds so full of self pity, I don't think I'm lovable.

 

I'm not going to go on here, but I'm very upset at this moment. I'm not missing Rex specifically, I've had those moments frequently, and I know what that feels like. This is something else. Something I'm too ashamed to write about here, even though no one knows who I am.

[MasterT]

Day 13... I started off very poorly... Depressed, lonely, and with a feeling of hopelessness...

 

After watching an inspirational video clip a few times... I'm back to full strength again... Maybe even better. I've found that it's when I'm idle and alone when I need the most help. Spring Break for me is coming soon... I can only hope I will have enough activities to keep me busy.

[ahhh2jz]

hang in there T; you're doing good.

[Wandering_Sword]

Day Six: Third attempt, this time over I'm not even feeling a twinge or even down. I guess the previous 90 plus days really helped in clearing the head. NC is the way to go for my situation. Yee haw

[Shaker]

Update: I saw my ex. He wanted to get back together. I explained why that won't happen. Can't happen. He accepts my decision.

 

We had a good, long chat (a few hours): about what we've been doing, about why our relationship didn't work, about the girl he's dating, about human behavior/global politics/religion, etc.

 

I don't know what more to say.

[macgyver4ever]

Day 4

 

Yesterday was rough again. I figured out why. Even though I know it is over, I am getting very upset because I feel that I have to accept and forgive my ex for what she has done because I still feel in my heart that she will come back. This feeling that I have to forgive her for being awful is making me very upset with her. Last night I had the epiphany that I DON'T have to forgive her because I don't have to take her back. I WILL be happy without her, and some girl will make me happy and take good care of me. This give me hope.

 

I just need to remember this to help me get through the days. It makes me appreciate what I have, and not dwell on what I have lost.

 

Shaker- You are tough. I wish I could tell my ex NO like that if she tried to come back. I would be a mess. I'm proud of you!!!

 

Today I feel: Sad, Confident, Depressed, Excited, and my head hurts again.

[honeyspur]

Day 4

 

Last night I had the epiphany that I DON'T have to forgive her because I don't have to take her back. I WILL be happy without her, and some girl will make me happy and take good care of me. This give me hope.

 

 

I think everyone can benefit from this thinking - it is a great example of the power of choice.

[kate111]

Update: I saw my ex. He wanted to get back together. I explained why that won't happen. Can't happen. He accepts my decision.

 

We had a good, long chat (a few hours): about what we've been doing, about why our relationship didn't work, about the girl he's dating, about human behavior/global politics/religion, etc.

 

I don't know what more to say.

 

 

Woah! Awesome. What was your technique again please? I remember our situations were similar.

[SadOldMan]

21 days? Somewhere around that mark

 

Feeling very emotional. A little weepy tonight. So many different emotions running through me at the minute. Hurt, loss, anger, sadness. I'll continue like this for as long as it takes.