supp11 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 lol jahur im the exact same way! as soon as an ex tells me she's with another dude, that's all I need to hear and its over...i could go an infinite # of years without talking Link to comment
philove Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Day 3 for me, I took some advice from Riley this morning and wrote out all the things I didn't like about my ex on a sheet of paper and I nearly ran out of space! On the other side I wrote about my ideal girl and it was nearly the exact opposite of what i wrote about my ex! Its very theruputic and I would definitely recommend it to anyone going through a breakup. I feel ok today, I felt a bit emotional last night but for some strange reason I couldn't cry so I see that as a sign of me getting better (i hope!) Link to comment
looking4ward Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Can you call him and apologize? Or at least email an apology? He'll probably tell her but it's worth a shot. Don't be too hard on yourself- slip ups happen. -K Link to comment
arghgirl Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Day 5. He is in my head all the time. Argh. It is for the best. Link to comment
and again Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 i think it must be day 30. Im going to keep on posting so i can keep a track of my feelings. Still miss her would love her to contact me, but still nothing. Had good days bad days, but only hours when i totally forget her. What nc has done for me is keep my dignity. I know im a good person and one day she may come back in sum degree, or i will meet someone who`s feelings i can trust. But i do hate being single. Wether its my ex i miss or the relationship thing, i dont know, prob 50/50. Still cant work out why she left , just to be on her own, when all she had off me was good. heard she said she made a mistake but i cant do any thing about that, she knows my number. just wish she would call, but cant see that happening. I know im eating well , sleeping ok, not drinking or smokeing as much, as when it 1st happened, and can tell the odd joke, just that something missing, and no real reason for it. Was told she had issues and boy did i find out for real. Next week get out more and try and put myself in to more enjoyable situations. Today 4 out of 10 Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Do you think it would be a good idea to try and STOP talking about the ex to other people ? I talked a lot about my ex to a friend of mine this afternoon and it seems that it brought back all kinds of memories and I started to feel quite sad and nostalgic again. So Im wondering...would making the effort NOT to talk about our ex's to other people during the 30 days of NC make sense ? Do you think it would help to heal quicker ? Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 At this point I don't even care if my ex and I get back together. If we did, it would be months from now. All I'm concerned about is getting out of law school and moving somewhere where we don't have mutual friends and stuff. Bleh. Link to comment
jahur Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Do you think it would be a good idea to try and STOP talking about the ex to other people ? I talked a lot about my ex to a friend of mine this afternoon and it seems that it brought back all kinds of memories and I started to feel quite sad and nostalgic again. So Im wondering...would making the effort NOT to talk about our ex's to other people during the 30 days of NC make sense ? Do you think it would help to heal quicker ? tell ya what, i dont talk about my ex to anyone now, 1/ because i dont want to drive them away with all talk about her 2/ i can do the above on here, after all a complete stranger is sometimes better to talk to, and you can do that right here. 3/ because talking about them doesnt bring them back/ why flog a dead horse remember this: out of site, out of mind it helped me enourmously not to talk about my ex, and in my opinion it does help. i hope this helps. Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Do you think it would be a good idea to try and STOP talking about the ex to other people ? I talked a lot about my ex to a friend of mine this afternoon and it seems that it brought back all kinds of memories and I started to feel quite sad and nostalgic again. So Im wondering...would making the effort NOT to talk about our ex's to other people during the 30 days of NC make sense ? Do you think it would help to heal quicker ? I specifically asked mutual friends to not tell me about my ex or what she's up to and it has helped me no end keeping NC. All of our friends including my ex and her new boyfriend were out together last night and I almost asked one of my buddies about her this morning - just to know if he'd seen her and if she was okay - but thankfully I resisted. Sounds funny but I was pretty proud of myself that I had the strength not to ask, as I was really desperate for any information on her. Of course I know that she is just fine without me and living her life as if I never existed. I was a bit sad about the whole thing though, I really thought one of our mutual friends would tell me today that my ex was asking after me last night but I'm sure she wasn't. And even if she was, I told them all not to mention her around me anyway so I'd never know, arg! I guess I'm just really desperate to know if she's missing me or not, if only as a friend. I suppose I can assume what I have been fearing since I went NC: that it has done nothing but helped her erased me from her mind and couldn't care less if I dropped dead tomorrow. I think NC is turning out to be a load of crap - isn't it supposed to make them miss you and not help them forget? I guess that's the risk we all take by doing this. Day 20 for me I think but I'll have to check my calendar at work tomorrow. You know, the one we all have with the X's on it marking the days? Link to comment
jahur Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 im sorry to hear you feel like that, i guess its all a lottery for us really, i still sit and think real hard about her coming back and i often doubt NC but then i realise that life is not my ex, life is what i should be getting on with, not sure of your story but you will heal in time. and a pat on ya back for not asking, save yourself from hurt mate! here is a little tip someone gave me: everytime you want to get all nostalgic about your ex, think of the whole scenario as dog sh%t, and you have just stepped in the heart of it!, and i can assure you a few times thinking that does help, i mean who likes to tread in dog sh%t!! Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Day 5 wasnt a good day...was doing alot of work and for some reason that made me keep thinking of my ex and my feelings ranged from missing her, feeling angry then going back to not caring. Eugh. I hate Sundays. Monday now, and Im back off to college. Yay. Day 6 awaits... Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 yah...weekends are harsh...i'm having a tough time with saturdays myself. just have to force myself to get out of bed sometimes...do something productive with my day. day 9 or 10 for me...i forget. some very difficult days...and some pretty half assed decent days. no one said it would be easy. i have a few questions...for anyone who'd care to answer: 1. does anyone else find that it helps to write down what you're thinking...how you're feeling? 2. do you suppose that there are people out there...regardless of the circumstances of breakup...that are just immune to this whole NC thing? seems like kind of an obvious question. i've been tossing that one around a bit. 3. does there come a time when it should be okay to break NC? i'm thinking down the road...5,6 months or more. i've just been feeling lately that there are some things that need to be said...regardless of whether or not a reconciliation is in order. maybe that desire will fade with time...as most things do. just some thoughts... ciao Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Day 1 again! She phoned me... i answered... amateur! We have come to a mutual agreement that we are going NC for the next 2 months, and then we are going to go out for dinner on our anniversary (3rd May) and see where the land lies. At least now its a mutual agreement it should be easier to stick to... hopefully! Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 tell ya what, i dont talk about my ex to anyone now, 1/ because i dont want to drive them away with all talk about her 2/ i can do the above on here, after all a complete stranger is sometimes better to talk to, and you can do that right here. 3/ because talking about them doesnt bring them back/ why flog a dead horse remember this: out of site, out of mind it helped me enourmously not to talk about my ex, and in my opinion it does help. i hope this helps. This is exactly what Im thinking. I will make a point NOT to talk about him from now on. He doesnt exist anymore.... Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 NC day 7! Woke up a bit better after 2 very down days! I guess it's normal to have horrible desperate days? Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 NC day 7! Woke up a bit better after 2 very down days! I guess it's normal to have horrible desperate days? Yes, there are days when I feel Im over him and truly ready to move on...and then I start thinking about him and missing him and feeling very sad about the whole situation. Hopefully the down days will be less frequent as time passes Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Joining this thread because I was doing NC responding to her texts, and then broke down due to her not congratulating me on being nominated for a professional award and contacting her. So I'm hoping participating in this thread will help me through the rough times. So, so far... I text her on Saturday asking her whether she had a good time at the ceremony, which was on Thursday. Spent the whole weekend feeling liek the last month or NC/LC was for nothing. Haven't slept in two days, but at least now I'm ANGRY at my perception of her rudeness and lack of consideration. I think she saw me walking to the station this monring (I saw her on the other side of the road but ignored her) and text me a response this morning, and congratulated me. I've deleted it without responding. So Technically, NC since saturday 5pm. Day 4 today. Good luck everyone. Link to comment
philove Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Day 4 of me - She sent me an email this morning asking why I never responded to her last email, I just deleted it and hopefully she will get the message. No way am I going to stroke her ego anymore by telling her how I feel about her. I feel a bit guilty but then I think back to how she treated me and I don't really care if it upsets her anymore. NC is time for me and she will not mess it up. Link to comment
SighSob Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I think NC is turning out to be a load of crap - isn't it supposed to make them miss you and not help them forget? No, NC is not supposed to make them miss you. NC is supposed to help dumpees move on from their ex's. Ex's may start to miss you at some point and NC will definitely help it, but that's not the point of NC, just a possible side-effect. Anyways, you did the right thing by asking your mutual friends to not tell you anything about her. I did too and it helped my healing a lot. Too bad Saturday night a "mutual" friend of us (hot chick by the way, lol) started telling me things I did not want to hear - such how horrible her new boyfriend looks, how she has turned into an easy girl and how I should be grateful that she ended it with me and not be thinking about her at all... Thinking about it now that's actually comforting and I like the fact that everyone dropped her like a hot potato and "took my side" - this means I'm not the jerk she was trying to make me look like - but still, I wonder what happened to the nice, honest & lovely girl I fell in love with? Why did she turn into an attention-seeking * * * * * ? I just don't get it... BTW: I think I'm close to day 50 & aside from this little setback I'm feeling fine I suppose... Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 i have a few questions...for anyone who'd care to answer: 1. does anyone else find that it helps to write down what you're thinking...how you're feeling? Absolutely - I started keeping an online journal recently and writing down all of my feelings and thoughts, no matter how trivial and stupid they seem, helps me work through the pain. I recommend you do it. No, NC is not supposed to make them miss you. NC is supposed to help dumpees move on from their ex's. Ex's may start to miss you at some point and NC will definitely help it, but that's not the point of NC, just a possible side-effect. I agree, NC is for me to heal and not for her to miss me. I suppose I just like to think that the side-effect would be that she would, even if it's just as a friend. Ah well, I know she doesn't even have those basic feelings for me anymore which can only accelerate my healing! Day 21 for me today - tomorrow will mark three weeks to the day since I have had any contact with her whatsoever. I feel stronger each day, but the weekends are still tough and it seems like it has been a LOT longer than three weeks...more like three months. Anyone still in the early stages, it does get better. Slowly, but it does. It's my birthday in two weeks and I keep wondering if she'll even remember, let alone send a card. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Im really angry at him today......thinking about his pathetic and disrespectful behavior of the last couple weeks we were together. Why should I even want to be in touch with this loser again ? NC all the way ! Link to comment
jahur Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Im really angry at him today......thinking about his pathetic and disrespectful behavior of the last couple weeks we were together. Why should I even want to be in touch with this loser again ? NC all the way ! thats the spirit, its like my dog sh%t theory, every time you start to get nostalgic, just picture treading in the most unctious, repugnant dog sh%t you have ever trod in, and i can guarantee that thinking about them becomes less and less Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Feel like crap today, missing her more than ever. Why can't I just let her go? She's never coming back. I feel so angry with myself, I wish the rollercoaster would stop Sorry, just needed to vent. Link to comment
Sunkist09 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Day 18. I am feeling wonderful. I am starting to see "why the hell did i date him the first place"? My ex isn't perfect... I had a wonderful busy weekend, the trick is to stay busy with friends. I learn that if you talk less about your ex, u hurt less... I still have desperate days.. nights are still kinda hard, but once I am up, I feel great. It really gets better. Link to comment
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