Good first date...now what???

[pedro]

Hi experts!

 

I had a really good 'coffee' date with someone I met online. She was really kind and considerate. We had a great conversation, lots to talk about, and had lots in common. I ended the night by saying I would call her and she said she'd like that.

 

It's been 2 days and I'm thinking I should call her tonight, to thank her for the great date, and maybe suggest doing something again. Is 2 days too soon, too long to make contact again? In the past I've maybe come accross alittle too needy, moving too fast when it came to 2nd, and 3rd dates and calling them right away. Often it's blown up in my face. Do girls like the chase? I don't want to seem too needy but at the same time, I want to give her the hint I'm interested and attracted to her.

 

So goes the 'game of love'... I think I'm getting better at it.

 

Cheers

DP

[Beec]

Personally, I'd wait one more day. I would ask her out for dinner (or something that was a fun activity, which would be better) next week, and I would not thank her for the last date. If someone pays for the first date, the other person should thank them. Otherwise, no thanking, esp. if you paid.

[Day_Walker]

I would say that a safe play is to wait atleast a couple days. With this call you intend to ask her out on a date, yes you can talk but the purpose is to set up a meeting between you two. The date should be next week and should be light hearted and fun. As was mentioned above, it is not necessary to thank her for you having a good time on the date.

[need2bme]

Now that you have waited, one more day won't hurt.

 

I think if I were going to thank her for the nice date (and didn't already do it when we parted ways), I may have done it that same night and then waited to call her again for another date. But that is just me.

[heloladies21]

If the date went as well as you said, you gotta get on the case. Personally, I would've called the next day or even maybe later that night! Wait too long and she's gonna get the impression that you're not interested and she's looking to see what your true intentions are at this point. Let's say you went on that date and called her later that same night. What decides if you're needy vs. being aggressive? There's a line that divides the two and it's all in the way that you do it.

 

If you think you come accross needy, this is a legitimate concern. But the solution in your case isn't to wait between calls. You don't call too much, I can tell, and when I press up on a chick I call her all the time. Your solution is to not sound needy when you talk to her! For a great example of how to talk go watch that Hogan Knows Best show with the Hulkster. He's got it down PAT, vocal tone, facial expressions, pacing of conversation. He's a flat out master.

[chai714]

I'd wait another day, then make a date for either Fri. or next week sometime. Also, don't ever thank a woman for going on a date with you. You can thank her by telling her she's fun to hang around or that you had a good time with her, but thanking her for the date would seem desperate.

 

And if nobody has ever told you, don't ever tell her how you feel. If you begin to like her and you feel you need to tell her, be very indirect. An example of an indirect line is, "It makes me feel good when I hang out with you" or "You're a real fun person. I like spending time with you."

 

Have fun and good luck.

[Scout]

Honestly, if I'm really interested in someone, the sooner he calls the better. If I'm not interested, it doesn't matter how long he waits, it's not going to pique my interest. You said this girl seemed to really enjoy the date, as well. Call her today, the weekend is coming up and if you want to make plans with her for it, don't wait past Wednesday to do so.

 

Any guy I ever really hit it off with, even if he called later that evening to say, "I just want you to know I had a great time, and was thinking you might enjoy doing this" (and he mentions some activity, date plan, etc.), I was really flattered and happy. Although most did wait until the next day or day after to call.

 

I think it all depends on mutual interest, and it sounds like you have that going on for you here.

[Scout]

"You're a real fun person. I like spending time with you."

 

Yes! There is nothing nicer to hear from someone than something along these lines when you feel the same way. It's indirect so perfect for the beginning of courtship, but also lets the person know one reason why you like them (without actually saying "I like you!")

[Dating Coach]

Don't ask her on a date for Friday or Saturday. Keep the date setting for Sunday-Thursday.

[laboheme]

I agree with Scout here. If you're really interested, you should call when it feels right. I personally don't believe in games when it comes to dating and relationships...If she likes you, she'll appreciate your honesty in making the phone call sooner rather than later...and unless you grab on to her leg, write odes to her, and insist on talking on the phone every night, I don't think showing interest always translates to acting needy.

[pedro]

Thanks for the advice

 

I think the point I was trying to make was how long to wait before intiating contact with her again. I don't want to wait too long so she thinks I'm not interested

[Lion-Guy]

I think 3 days days after the date works well. Try calling her at night when you know she is home. Good luck.

[Scout]

I think the point I was trying to make was how long to wait before intiating contact with her again. I don't want to wait too long so she thinks I'm not interested

 

Well, based on the comments I gave previously, it's obvious I'm suggesting not to wait any longer. Call her tonight.

[DN]

I agree with Scout. Call her and let her know you are interested. The key to not appearing desperate is the tone of voice when calling - keep it light but let her know you enjoyed her company and would like to see her again.