HellFrost666 Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 I skimmed through this pretty fast... It was closed when I tried replying before. Is this a parody post? It just seemes like such a far fetched situation... Link to comment
Aida2 Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 He says his girlfriend knows and didn’t care much… He is lovely to me, he really is, he treats me so well… so it’s a disgusting thing to do… I don’t want someone else. Leaving him would hurt even more and I cant do it. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 I'd like to know your answer to Tigris' question. A young girl, getting expensive jewelry, and nobody notices? So, what's the deal? If this is all an eleborate lie for attention, you've got our attention, so start giving some real info. How have you kept this a secret? All you need to do is talk to your father, or a school councillor (if your dad is neglectful or something). Link to comment
doyathink Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 It's your choice to make. Why did you post then? What are you wanting to know or wanting help with? I ask only because I don't understand. Link to comment
doyathink Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 I see grand has the same questions as I do. Link to comment
Slagar Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 He says his girlfriend knows and didn't care much… He is lovely to me, he really is, he treats me so well… so it's a disgusting thing to do… I don't want someone else. Leaving him would hurt even more and I cant do it. Personally, I wouldn't trust a word he says. Even if he is lovely to you, there is a large chance he is just protecting his relationship with that girl by lying to you. I certainly wouldn't put it past a guy that is willing to pay for sex with someone else. It might be hard to believe that he could be lying to you, since he is so nice... but you really, really do not want to have to find this out the hard way. The reason you don't want someone else, is simply because you are falling for him. But, if you pull out, over time, the feelings will dissipate, and you'll see the situation for what it truly is. You have to find the strength to get out of this situation. If you don't, it's only going to get worse. Some day in the future, you will be glad you did. If you don't, it will only continue, and then when it DOES end, you will wish you had left a long time ago. You will hurt much more if this continues, than if you get out now. It's hard to leave someone you care about, there is no doubt about that. But when you know that something is bad for you, sometimes you just have to do it. Just be strong. Remind yourself that you are doing the right thing by leaving him. You are doing the right thing for yourself, your life, and your own happiness. As a human being, you deserve better. You want to be all that you can be, as a person. You want to live up to your potential. Getting out now is the right choice. Deep down inside, you know it. Look after yourself, and leave. You've done the right thing by seeking help with this Link to comment
Aida2 Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 Because I haven’t known what to do for months and I hate it and I cant think of anything else to do. I though someone might know an alternative… I may have been stupid enough to start this but I not stupid enough to shout about it. And my father isn’t neglectful, thanks Link to comment
Slagar Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 I can't help but agree with the other posters' questions Aida2. If this is what you say it is, please give us more information. Link to comment
Aida2 Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 what do you need? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Aida, Why would it be stupid, in your opinion, to talk to someone close to you about this? Sounds like you are lucky enough to have people who care about you. Knowing you and the situation the best (and being able to see its affect on you in person), your dad or mom or someone close to you could really help you to come to new alternatives. Do you feel ready to stop this activity you have going on? Would you be willing to? The fact that you would post here looking for help tells me you aren't 100% happy with the 'arrangement' anymore. And why won't you answer about where the jewelry is? (as though I didn't notice you 'forgot' to answer that part! ) Link to comment
Aida2 Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 If I could tell my parents the I wouldn’t be here posting. I know how they will be and its not worth it, that’s why I have had to look for other people. I don’t want to not see him… knowing that there is someone else that he holds above is what upsets me, and I know how wrong it is too, I always did but it didn’t matter until I started to actually like him. Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Because I haven’t known what to do for months and I hate it and I cant think of anything else to do. I though someone might know an alternative… I may have been stupid enough to start this but I not stupid enough to shout about it. And my father isn’t neglectful, thanks What you should do is obvious. Cut off all contact with this jerk. Tell him you don't want to see him or continue this anymore. If he won't listen contact the authorities. Link to comment
Aida2 Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 I have tried to tell him that its over before, but I never could. Just as i try to tell him he makes me laugh or, just small things and I dont know why i was going to say it so... Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Aida, Ok. So you just want to do what you want to do, but not take the concequences. Stay with him - suffer, and he will keep hurting you. Cut out important people who actually care for you from your life, so you can avoid responsibility and accountability - you will suffer for it, and when (not if) this guy hurts you even worse, ...it will be bad if you are alone with that. I'd fear for you, actually. I fear for you now, and I think you know what anyone close to you would say "GET AWAY FROM HIM". But they'd also probably give you a great big hug, wipe your tears, and take care of you after their anger (fear) calmed down. You're 16. You can face up. Life isn't fun trying to go at alone only listening to what we want to hear. take care . time for my favorite tv show. Link to comment
Aida2 Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 Thanks. I think at least some of what everyone has said has gone in. You all confirmed my thinking I guess… I don’t like it, but I have to do something… Link to comment
Slagar Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Well, we've given you a lot of advice, but it's up to you what you do about it. But you must do something, because it's better that this doesn't continue. I highly recommend leaving completely. But if you really think he could be worthwhile as a boyfriend, then just give him an ultimatum like the others have said. Tell him, it's either you, or the other girl, but he can't have both. If he can't decide, or if he picks the other girl, then you walk away, never to speak to him again. If he picks you... well, you go from there I have tried to tell him that its over before, but I never could. Just as i try to tell him he makes me laugh or, just small things and I dont know why i was going to say it so... When he acts nice, you have to force yourself to remember it's only a shell. Remind yourself. Don't fall for it. It's hard, but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to. It's something you just have to get used to as you grow up. As an example, many people are out there, working low-end jobs, just barely getting by. Do you think that's how they want things? No, but many of them just don't have a choice. You have a choice here. So do the right thing. If you think you can't resist him, then just don't speak to him. Don't give yourself the chance to fall for it. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Think about yourself! What happens if you get pregnant? Do you think he's going to help you? You are worth more than jewelry and being a second class person. You are not a toy, you are a person. You need to be strong and take your self-respect back. Don't talk him, don't tell him anything, just stop all contact. If he calls, hang up, if he comes to your door, close it in his face. Ignore him, he doesn't exist. Link to comment
Aida2 Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 Thats the hard bit... dont talk to him... or go round and see him... Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Thats the hard bit... dont talk to him... or go round and see him... It not hard, just stop. You have a backbone, USE IT! You want to see him, do 50 sit ups, or you want to talk to him, take a jog. Do something else, read, draw, do your homework. Link to comment
Aida2 Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 always find domething to do to distract myself Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 always find domething to do to distract myself Better yourself and push him out of your life. Link to comment
lman69 Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Its not what should you do....its why are you doing this??? Link to comment
yeawutever Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Seriously there is no need to degrade yourself by putting material stuff over your own self, you're a living human being, not his toy to play with. It's weird that your parents never question you about where you get the expense jewelry, unless they don't acre that is. I do agree that you have to cut all contact with him. If you still haven't decided yet, do so now and never see him again, he doesn't want you,all he's looking for is the thrill. I highly doubt his g/f knows about it, else you would have alreayd met her and she woudl have welcome you to a threesome. Honestly no virgin girl would ever want a b/f that wants an open relationship. I'm virgin myself and would gross out at that idea, plus losing your virginity comes within time, with someone you have well developed feelings and not just like but emotions too. Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 You're 16, you're young, and too vulnerable to get yourself into this mess! Honey, get out now. Chances are when the right man comes into your life, the jewellery and gifts will be endless, without conditions. Please think about what you're doing. You say its too late not to get hurt, but right now, if you stop things where they are, the pain wont last as long! Cliche, but so true. Rooting for you. PM me if you need anything. x Link to comment
Aricela Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 When you know already you're getting hurt anyway, better end this sooner than later. Sell the jewellery. Does his girlfriend know about this arrangement ? Link to comment
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