I will swap sex for...

[Aida2]

I don't know if someone asked this already, but do a lot of people sleep around where you live? Just seems strange that his gf wouldn't care. And also, is this the first guy you've had sex with?

 

sorry if someone already asked these questions.

 

Its not abnormal to have sex...

But no, he wasnt the first person i had sex with.

[Spugly Fuglet]

He isnt nothing when he shouts "Oi whats up with this" from over the road... and maybe I was just being paranoid, but everyone seemed to know that it was me he was shouting at and everyone was looking.

 

 

Hes acting just as I suspected he would, hes a controll freak and now hes no long in control hes doing hes doing his nut in.

 

Hes all about power, and that says all you will ever wont about him, paying for sex was just the start they guy is now hanging around in a vary bad way, even if you go back to him to him you have got some thing over on him, so he will make you pay.

 

This guy is really bad news, like I said befor, get all his stuff back to him by post of need be, the next thing is your going to have to get back up, that may mean telling some one you trust at home or a councer even the police what this guys doing, if he carrys on like this its harassment.

 

Dont be scared, if you do this right you will have the back up to deal with any stupid stuff he trys and pulls.

Its time to have a long think about where you are now, if he dos not get the fact you wont NC then right a letter and send it to him making your self 100% clear that its over and you do not wont any contact with me again.

 

He has a GF she must be asker her self what up with her man if hes out bugging you. I dont see how he can keep up a relaionship with her.

 

Just remember you are doing this for you, to save you from a lot of pain by getting to close to a guy who has a GF yet payed you for sex in Kind.

 

No good man would do that.

 

Just remember the past is gone and done its what we do in the here and now that counts, what your doing its giving your self a life back with out shame.

[TxRedheadGuy]

Aida, something you said struck a nerve with me and raised alarm bells. You said that this boy's parents own the football club that your father works for. I have to wonder if this boy is doing this to you out of a sense of dominance/power - the knowledge that if you turn him down that he has the potential of having your father let go from his job.

At any rate the relationship is not healthy and it seems as though you need to get out of it as soon as you can. You are being used, and in the long run it will haunt you. For your own emotional and physical well being, end the relationship with this boy. You might even want to consider letting your family and his as well as the girlfriend know what he has been doing. Though it might make things difficult or awkward in the beginning, it hopefully will teach him that he cannot keep up this behavior towards women.

 

Best of Wishes,

TxRedHeadGuy

[Spugly Fuglet]

Well spotted TxRedheadGuy, I missed that link,

[TxRedheadGuy]

Spugly, after having spent a couple years in the BDSM scene for an ex, the dominance/power aspect was the first part that I picked up on. With this guy, I don't think it is about the sex at all, more the fact that he knows he can control Aida like that.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Yep I think your right, the way hes acting now after Aida has ended his activertive points to that. Also his line on why he has to pay for sex to keep his GF some how clean just sounded all wrong. I missed the part where Aida's farther was in thay of this guy farher. Not being into BDSM I did not see what this guy is truly upto, I will go with your insite on this, what I think we need to ask is how will this guy act next and how can Aida get away from him with the least pain and keeping her selfimage intact. I have to ask what your feelings on this, you may have a much better feeling for whats going on in this guys head, Im not for a moment saying you are in any way like this guy but you may have come into contact with guys like him.

[Aida2]

He sent me a video of him and his girlfriend making out...

[Aida2]

Why has he done this? Please someone, I really need someone right now…

[CarnelianButterfly]

He sent me a video of him and his girlfriend making out...

What a jerk! That is a desperate and sickening act. He is such a sleaze.

 

I hope you erase the video. Did he email it? Block his emails, delete them right away, if its a phone video, block his phone number. Push him out of your life.

[TiredMan]

You know he has a g/f and you trading your body for expensive jewelry, like you said. Are you expecting him to be caring and kind to you?

[Aida2]

You know he has a g/f and you trading your body for expensive jewelry, like you said. Are you expecting him to be caring and kind to you?

 

Of course I didn't expect kindness from him, but who expects this?!

Thanks for the support TiredMan, its great to know that you think so lowly of me, because i obviously don't think lowly enough of myself already.

[CarnelianButterfly]

because i obviously don't think lowly enough of myself already.

You're better off with out him, you are working on this and you're going to make it through.

[Aida2]

You're better off with out him, you are working on this and you're going to make it through.

 

Thanks for your help, CarnelianButterfly...

[TiredMan]

Of course I didn't expect kindness from him, but who expects this?!

Thanks for the support TiredMan, its great to know that you think so lowly of me, because i obviously don't think lowly enough of myself already.

 

It's one of those "you reap what you sew" kind of things. When you make a decision, you can't really complain.

 

If I posted on here that I cheated on my g/f repeatedly and that she is thinking of leaving me and complain about her choice, don't you think people would point out that I set myself up for this? lol

 

I don't think lowly of you. i never said that. What I'm saying is that you made conscious choices and you can't be surprised by this. Give the guy back all the jewelry and cut yourself off from him.

[TxRedheadGuy]

He sent me a video of him and his girlfriend making out...

 

He did it to hurt you........and show you what he really thinks of you. Dump him, you deserve better.

[Thulsadoom]

Having read all that, I have to say, Aida...

 

Always try and look at the positive side. He sent you that video? Then laugh. Because regardless of any feelings you may have had for him, you truly know he is worthless scum. YOU are no longer in his control, and that other poor girl is. YOU are the lucky one. Look at that video as justifying every negative thing you ever thought of him. It's not a bad thing. It's a good thing, because it shows him for the pathetic excuse for humanity that he is, and that he has no control over you.

 

If all you've said is true, good on you. You started this thread in a confusing mix of unsure emotions, and have gradually progressed to seeing the situation for what it is, and having rid of him. You should be proud of yourself.

 

Whatever you do, don't let him talk you round ever again. Look down on him. You may be younger, but by forgetting him and moving on, you are a hundred times more mature. If you have to see him on social occasions, just let his comments wash over you, and ignore him. Look down on him for the worm he is.

[Aida2]

I guess I’m getting through it slowly.

It was the party today and he tried to start something, just standing near me (I had two of my friends with me like everyone said, so they made sure he didn’t go too close) then trying to ask if we could talk in private. Obviously I didn’t let him get me on my own, but he tried to talk to me again as we were leaving and he got quite angry when my friends told him to sling his hook because I didn’t want to talk to him. He stopped his shouting and swearing when other people came out though...

[itsallgrand]

Oh Aida. He's showing his true colours, that's for sure! I'm sorry you have to go through the hurt, but we know you can get through this! It will keep getting better and easier. His actions will mean less and less to you as you keep at it, disengaging from him.

 

Ha! That is awesome what happened at the party. Way to go, and I'm glad your friends are helping you out.

 

You're doing great!

[Aida2]

I burst into tears the moment he had stormed back inside though... I’m not sure if I was upset or just really shocked…

[CarnelianButterfly]

You made it through!!!! Tears will happen, but look how well you did! You're going to be just fine! You can do it!

[chile en polvo]

at sixteen it sounds like a bad idea- and sounds as you are the victim. expensive things arent everything, I've done it for money, to pay my bills, groceries, etc. I think if you were at least 18- since in the US its legal at that age- to chose sexually waht you want.

 

then i would say go for it, if you feel alright with going ahead, as long as you are aware that you are an item yourself, no emotional attatchment. decision is yours. * * * * him 'til its done, gets lots of little presents, and get over it as soon as it is over. or cut it loose, and keep on imagining that perhaps it could have been something- though more than likely- the odds are against you.

 

he just wants sex, if you just want to jewelry, i dont see why not.

cheers 1:

[rmpavlock]

It definitely sounds like this guy is a controlling jerk. Even though it hurts, doesn't it feel good that you are not in that situation anymore? I would think that it would be kind of nice to know that you no longer have to deal with being manipulated. I would seriously keep busy now. Get rid of the jewelry. It will only serve as a reminder and once you are over this whole situation you will probably have no desire to ever wear it anyway.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Hi Aida2

 

Well at last your seeing what is inside this man and its not nice, hes a loser 100% on the butten loser. Hes all about power and when I said he will try to get a reaction from you, the Video and trying to get you alone is all part of that. remember like I said you have the power now, you are the one incontraol, when you said NO MORE! and acted on that he lost his grip on you for ever, all he is trying to do now is get it back so HE! can feel better. He is not doing any of this for you and that should tell you every thing you ever need to know about this man.

 

I think I talk for every one where when I say what you have done takes guts and shows why you are worth much more. Standing upto him showed you have the will to do this.

 

The video was sick, yes but thats what I would expect but what shocks me is did GF know what he was going to do with the Video! if she did then he has found his mach for she is a sick as him, but if not then they gays heading for a world of pain. You just can not do this stuff and think the world is going to put up with it, hes going to get cart out again like he has with you and no one will wont to know him.

 

You came here, you asked stangers what you felt you should do and you lesend and acted. You can a very close call with a very bad guy but remember this always YOU ASKED FOR HELP! and YOU ALONE ACTED!

You did what was right not just for you but for thows around you, can you imagen what he would have been like as an inlaw.

 

Also they pain he is going throw beocue of the why he actted to you may just make him grow up. In my book you have in doing what you are doing now, seeing him for what he really is.

 

Keep up the NC and if he trys to get Phiscal get your family in or even the police, dont worry about the pact he gave you gifts, we are past that now, he can not tar you for ending his games, becoue it him that has all the shame. Once you walked away you cut any hold he had.

 

If you have now all ready give him back evey thing he has given you I still say do.

 

Your doing grate keep it up and you will be past this and on with the rest of your life in not time.

 

I will say this keep an eye on this guy I dont know his history but if hes the vilant type then talk to you mum and dad and say you dont wont him around and feel he my get nasty. If hes seeking to get you alone dont give him chance.

 

Sorry to say this but I dont wont any thing to happon to you even if there is a very small chance.

[Aida2]

No, I don’t think his GF knew what he planned to do with the video, now I’ve seen her I know who she is because I used to go to school with her and she is lovely, she is really sweet… I think he was testing me to see if I would be spiteful and tell her because he would have known that I used to know her so maybe he wanted to see how I would react… by not telling her I guess I’m showing him… What? That I still like him, that I’m weak? But I don’t want to tell her, I know she would be so hurt and she wouldn’t believe me anyway probably…

No matter what I do it’s like he is winning somehow! If I tell her, she will be hurt too, if I don’t then I look weak or like I still have feelings for him (I do, but obviously I don’t want him to know that) and either way I don’t think he will stop hanging round any time soon.

 

Also, when I got home today there were a load of flowers tied to the gate and the guys said that he had come and asked if he could leave them there for me and on the card was a quote from one of his favourite bands.

“I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better f***

Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me”

 

He always did love irony.

[Spugly Fuglet]

More Mind games, hes trying to make you make a move back to him, soon as you do the POW! he will cut you off, at the moment his ego has just been jumped on from a grate hight by you. That im sorry to say is just what this creap needs, remember he has been cheating on this nice GF, and in a way that is shamefull and lacks any form of Honor.

 

hes scum, im sorry but he is, sending you that video was the most disrepectfull act any one could do to some one he says he loves.

He is not winning thats why hes doing all this, its all about him, he dos not care about any thing but how hes feeling. If he carrys on like this word will get back to his GF not from you but from every one around him who can see hes acting very odd.

 

Your winning here, by sticking to NC he has now power over you, all he can do is make more and more of a fool of him selfs, there will come a point where he will have to face up to what he has done to bout the woman in his life.

 

If you feel that it would be wrong to tell her then dont, this is about you doing what you think is right and finding your self again with out any shame from this guy.

 

His letter and note is again an atempt to get some reation from you, any at all means hes got what he wonts power!.

 

Total blank him, take the note and the flowers and bin them, next time dont read the note just chuck them.

 

the wording is his note is just "you think you have betten me well your wrong" but the truth is yes you have, the note its self says "I not happy, im not getting my way any more how dear you!"

 

The truth is you dear! becouse your now seeing him for what he really is, a bad peace of work.