I will swap sex for...

[CarnelianButterfly]

I thought so too...

 

 

But I really want to know what he says... isnt there anyway of opening it then... well I dont know

 

You don't need to know what it says. It will be an attempt to manipulate you into being his sex toy. Just send it back.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Hi Aida2

The letter is what it its, a letter. But what's inside can be any thing, befor you think about opening it, ask yourself

this,

 

What would have to be in it to make me happy?

to make me happy He would have to say,

 

I have ending my realshamship

with my gf,

I am sorry I treated you be and ! made you feel bad!

I'm a jurk and you are better of with out me

I sending the video, storking you and pestaring you was wrong and shamefull,

trying to by sex was also wrong,

 

I am getting professional help for my bad habbits.

 

 

but! we both know that letter will habe little or none of the above,

 

no it will be an wining, rant or a sickly sweet drivil trying to get power over you, it will be LOOK HOW YOU MADE ME FEEL!

 

I MISS YOU IT HARUT ME!

 

so this letter, is anger or manipulation, the thing it will not have is him relizing what he has done to you, how you feel and that's bad and what what is should say is that he needs to make him self a better man.

 

Becosue a better man would not have sent that letter that's why, a better man would know that a letter can only upset you and make you feel bad.

 

So you see that letter means his still thinking of himself 1st and not you

 

do send it back unopened that is all I would do, if he can not work out from that, that he should stop then hes not changed.

 

he's going to larn his needs have to come second when you really care for some one, you give them time to work things out for them selfs and if and when they are ready they will come back to you.

until then you get on with your own life, and try and be a better man.

 

I know this becouse I have been there, I treaded some one very bad, (not as bad as him) but I cheated on them and then I told them to make myself feel better, it was all about me, then they dunped me and went into NC, I did every thing I could to get to them (trust me if you put your mind to it you can become a real jurk, and I did) well in the end I was alone and only then did I start to look at why, and it was me, I could hid from it no more, so I look long and hard at who I was and desided to change, I stoped drinking, ended the drugs, stoped useing my mind to have power over others and started to stand up for what I felt was right. I finally owned up to my self that I had an illness (bi-poler) and some other stuff going off in my head and I stayed alone until I worked out in my own head how to deal with it. Im 40 its taken me 17 years to get from where this guy is to where I am now. It was hell and painfull and I would not change one moment, This year I found out that my love had in fact marred my best mate at Uni, and that I was not so to blame, that in fact they had been close and I was in the way. When I did what I did that just opened the way for them and so they both NCed me.

 

But that dos not matter, what matterd was I became a better man becouse of what happoned, I have done such things in thows 17 years.

 

So you see I feel I know what this boy is like, I can see that his change will come with pain and fustration but it has to come, or he will be like this all his life and he will harm all thows around him One day trust me he will realize this

 

At 16 you have so much to look forwould to, there will be other guys some good some bad but there will be.

[SexySadie7]

Yeah.. why cannot you be his girlfriend??

He's treating you like one, in one sense... I wud be insulted that he doesn't think enough of you to take you out in public.

This is not a nice guy aida... I would run, not walk to the door, honey.

[Aida2]

One of my friends who dont know about what has happened was talking to his GF and she was asking her about me... I think this means she knows. Obviously if she want to come to talk to me or whatever, she is perfectly within her rights to want to hurt me, I know I would but... well yes...

[Spugly Fuglet]

Well thats no surprise the way this guys been working, If she dos it can many ways, she could be mad at him and not you, or like you say mad at you.

 

If she dos come and all she wonts to do is talk then talk, thats when she needs to find out just what kind of guy has been dating her.

 

Why do I think she needs to know, its so she can make her own mind up,

as they other woman you can say what you feel is right, yes you had sex with this guy, yes he gave you gifts but you gave them all back, yes you know he had a GF but you ended it becouse you felt it was not right.

 

In truth it should be this guy she sould be angry at not you but be ready for it.

 

Can I ask how do you feel about things so far.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I hope she realizes what a supreme jerk this guy is and how he's been using both of you.

 

If she wants to talk, talk to her. Don't let her attack you though. If she starts going off on you, break it off. You are not the person to be yelling at. Tell her that her BF is a sleaze and has been stalking you since you dumped him. Make the point of telling her you ended it.

[unface]

I used to date a girl that would buy me anything I wanted.

 

She actually bought me an XBOX360 when they just came out, off of ebay for over 1000 dollars. HAHAHA.... I wonder what shes up to these days.

 

Man was that the setup.

[Aida2]

Don't let her attack you though

I wouldnt be able to stop her, Im like... tiny, but I think she probably will try to hurt me... I deserve it, but dont think im looking forwards to it...

[unface]

I think I am falling in love with a guy who gives me very expensive jewellery in exchange for sex so his girlfriend can maintain her virginal innocence... what do I do?

 

You pawn it... or better yet, ask for cash in the first place.

 

Then buy yourself one of these:

 

image removed

[Aida2]

Can I ask how do you feel about things so far.

 

Call me spoilt, but this is the hardest most horrible thing I have ever had to do. I still really like him, it hasn't faded at all even though I've realised that all the things he did and is still doing are awful and hurtful and I miss talking to him and going out on the weekends with him and all the funny, sweet, weird little things he said all the time. I feel like crap.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I deserve it, but dont think im looking forwards to it...

 

NO YOU DON'T!

She can be mad at you all she wants, but she has no right to attack you.

[Aida2]

What would you do? I know that if I was her I would probably want to hurt me, especially if I loved him because its easier to blame someone else and she wont want to believe that he really is a bad guy

[CarnelianButterfly]

I would be mad at both of them. Mostly him though, especially if the other woman is single, as he is the one betraying the relationship. To me the betrayal he committed would be far worse than being the second party in an affair. If she doesn't want to see that he is as much, if not more, responsible, then she is being willfully ignorant to the horrible nature of her BF.

 

I'm not a violent person, so physical attacks are not something I would consider. Even though one is not willing to use a sword does not mean one can not die by one. Be prepared, take pepper spray with you and if she attacks you spray her. She has no right to physically attack you.

[Aida2]

Pepper spray isnt allowed over here, I would get in far more trouble for that than I would for hitting her back.

[Spugly Fuglet]

remember back up, be with others if she wonts to talk have others around you, if she wonts one on one the the mobile,/phone etc.

 

Im sorry you miss this guy but he really has to grow up a lot befor you go any where near him. It will fade and others will fill the gape but for the time bing give your self some time out form GF and work out just what you would like from any relationship. A good start is Honesty.

 

keep posting and do tell her if she talks to you that your ended it, dont talk to the guy again.

 

all the best

[CarnelianButterfly]

Then take friends, have them keep their distance if she's being reasonable, but make sure they're around if she goes too far.

[Aida2]

She want to meet up...

[Spugly Fuglet]

She want to meet up...

 

Then its time to do the grown up thing here.

 

if yiu deside to meet her have some one with you and don't let her bring a gang, meet some where you feel safe.

 

remember she knows, but you need to tell her you ended it, that its over and over for good, that you feel he's not such a nice guy.

 

shes looking to see if you aim to brake them up, and what your after, you have to let her know what your after is closer and this guy out of your life for good, once she has what ever "facts" you feel like telling her then its up to her.

 

what's key here is that you really talk and not have a fight, she may be blaming you as he may have lied his teeth off to her saying it was you maniulating him for sex.

 

that's the time to uses the vid to enlightent her on just how bad of a scum bag her bf really is.

 

but this is all up to you,

you don't have to meet her at all if you don't won't to.

 

but if it was me I would.

 

in the end this could be just his last despreat play to get at you, he's used evey one else so now he's only has hes sf left.

 

now do you see why this guy worrys me and why you need to NC him for good.

 

but this is your call, remember you have the power here.

[Spugly Fuglet]

ps

 

dont let him come along with her, make that 100% clear it you and her only, with one back up each, if he's there when you go to meet just walk away.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I would definitely show her the video, that would be very convincing evidence of how sick he is.

[Aida2]

Its going to be a group thing, thats just how it works. Too many people know about it now so no matter when or where we meet there are going to be other people who will tell other people...

We said tomorow and she wanted to meet up in the park, so thats a pretty good indicator that she really does want a fight and not a pleasant chat.

He has left me six or seven messages on my phone telling me not to go... he sounds like... really worried

[CarnelianButterfly]

He knows he's going to be dumped when she finds out he's a jerk. This is the sound of his little sick world crashing down.

[Aida2]

Ok, he is scaring me... he keeps saying not to go because I will really get hurt...

[CarnelianButterfly]

He's the one that's going to be in trouble, she's going to find out what he's been doing behind her back. How awful he's treated you and how disrespectful he was of their relationship.

 

Try to keep you're emotions in control. Tell her what you want to tell her. Answer her questions as best you can, but don't let it become a fight.

 

If he shows up, leave. This is between you and her, he has been treating you both badly and its about time he learned women aren't toys.

[Spugly Fuglet]

DO NOT GO!

 

"Its going to be a group thing, thats just how it works. "

No thay do not!

 

This sounds like a gang fight not a meeting, text her and say you will meet only if you do it with a 3ed party there like a school counceler or

care worker, this meeting sounds avery bad idear and its on her terms bad bad bad, shes not going to look at any Videows when all she wonts to do its fight you with her gang and you sound like your going there with your gang. OMG this could end very bad, nip it in the bud now.

 

Please do not go this is not the kind of meeting it will not help in the way you wont and will i think end in a cat fight a

 

shes now just acting like a hurt child, her ego is dented and shes gunning for blood keep well away.

 

I would geuss hes behind this still trying to get at you throw her, you to fighting over him will just make his day the sick ****

 

Also have you been talking to him if you have then is back in power just where he likes being.

 

get away from thhim and and his GF,

 

YOU do not fight over a man, becouse its makeing you two look stupid and him look like a cach and his loving every moment of this, can you not see him telling all his mates. "ye and they where fightng to get in my paints"

 

Do not go, but send word you will meet her on your ground ONLY!

thats safe 100% in location and with adolats around to stop violance.

 

really drop this meeting and dont go.