Ladies; do girls really go for thin guys?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Brutal Honesty:

 

I have a kind of fetish for very thin/underweight guys and girls (I'm bisexual). My boyfriend is about 135lbs at 5ft 7.5ins, so not as thin as you, but I for one would have NO trouble finding you hot!

[heloladies21]

I'm no beefcake here and used to be quite skinny myself and didn't see any kind of increase because I put on weight. My brother used to be on the chubby side and lost some pounds now where is is way skinnier than me. He gets more girls than me. There's just no correlation here.

 

Dude, you already know what I'm going to tell you. I have all of these friends who are good with girls and they are of every demographic. You name it, race, religion, weight, height, looks. All variations and they are all good with women.

 

I remember that pic of you before on here, you are good looking enough to get any girl in this world. I truly believe that. You should too.

[heloladies21]

(I know Diggity and heloladies are gonna come out of nowhere and yell at me because as the man, I should be doing the approaching... lol)

And you knew I wasn't gonna let this slide, of course it's all on you. Just realize that this is the next obstacle that we need to tackle and the sooner you get to it the better off you'll be. You've gotten some good background already with all this stuff, but all of it is just armchair quarterbacking and untested theories. Now it's time to get out in the field and try some things out for yourself, because with some things the only way you're going to truly believe it is by experienceing it. Even if I tell you the right way on something, sometimes there's just no other way to prove it right or wrong to yourself.

 

Like I heard some advice on never call a girl again if she ignores one of your calls. I did this for a while (with no success) and then I read a different article that said to persist on it till it's completely dead with her. So I tried this out as well with some success. I then played around with it a bit and now realize that it's more complicated than this, and there are certain situations where you won't want to persist and sometimes you'll want to, all depending on what exactly is going on.

 

So moral of the story, your true learning is gonna happen when you're out there fighting the good fight. I just don't want to see you develop the "student complex" where you lean too much on an internet forum for your discoveries.

[Juha]

Kevin for the most part being thin is the minority as far as what most women

find attractive...

 

I am not being negative but some like something to grab onto, some like muscular, and few like skinny...

 

I should know I also am in good shape but I am very lean I put weight on but I don't grow a whole lot, I am very athletic just not real big... I get very strong but still I have to put up with the you are to skinny, you are weak, you lift weights? (lol), you need to eat more....

 

I have thought about getting my metabolism slowed by taking medicine but decided against it...

 

Unfortunately the skinny guy is not the most wanted body type by the women...

 

If you were a muscular guy you would have many more women around but they would be the shallow bimbo's, maybe you would like that...LOL

 

To gain weight for us takes alot of work...

The best way is to eat, eat, and eat some more, take in lots of protein, and move lots of weight... You will gain weight and you will be real strong...

 

When I worked out very hard I weighed at least 50 pounds less than some guys and I was stronger than they were...

 

Don't let it get you down things will be fine...

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

The moral is, don't read articles, just go for it, fat or thin!

[Daligal83]

I always thought I was only attracted to guys with a little more meat. Not overweight or tons of muscle..but just had meat on their bones. My boyfriend is definitely skinny. He has muscle, but he's still a tall, skinny guy. I think he is perfect. I can't believe how attracted to him I am. If you compare him to my ex, the only thing they have in common is that they are tall. It's more about the person than their body type (maybe you should get to know those girls that hit on you). I know you know this though...I just wanted to give you an example.

[AzureSkyes69]

I am also bisexual but I have certain prefrence as a rule for what I like women or men.

I do prefer thin or slender men as a rule.As for what I usually like in women I like them usually with a bit of meat on them.

Of course there are exceptions to every rule and it all depends on the person themselves to me..and when I really get to know them all that could just simply go out the window.To me that is what I first see,what we all see the outside before getting to know someone.When I really know someone and really like them allot for me it won't matter if they are thin or overweight.

So Kevin T, I don't think you have too much to worry about from what I read here there are lots of woman that would find you attractive.

[applepie]

If it bother's you that much, go see a doctor about gaining some weight.

 

I don't mind skinny guys but if you can see ribs and sternum then I think there is a problem. I'm more likely to be attracted to an excessively skinny guy than the opposite though.

[Slacker]

There are a lot of guys with your "problem" on a fitness forum i visit, realistically if you want to pack on weight you should be shooting for 4000 kcals a day and ~250 grams of protein. When you workout, lift heavy, it'll increase the number of androgen receptors in your muscle tissue and stimulate some mass growth.

 

But you've probably heard all that before, seriously, just make sure you dont look goofy in the clothes you wear (sorry all my skinny friends have that problem) and be confident, there are plenty of women who love slim guys.

[Beec]

Kevin T,

 

Women are going to be attracted to you because of how you act and how you treat them. Plenty of pot-bellied men are out there living happy, well-sexed lives, mostly because they are happy and treat women how they want to be treated (not just how they say they want to be treated). Treat them right, and you'll be rolling in it.

[yeawutever]

I find overly muscular guys, well, um.. sort of unappealing, sorry but I do.

 

Same here, muscles don't appeal me at all, nothing whatsoever. My current b/f is of average weight as well as height (close to 5"8" and about 160 ibs and I'm 5"7" 145 ibs).

[Kevin T]

If it bother's you that much, go see a doctor about gaining some weight.

 

I don't mind skinny guys but if you can see ribs and sternum then I think there is a problem. I'm more likely to be attracted to an excessively skinny guy than the opposite though.

 

Well, I appreciate your honestly, but I've already done that.

 

Asked my doctor. He said, "You ever see that movie about the guy who went on a McDonald's diet for a month?" I said, "Yeah." He said, "Well, do that." I said, "I used to eat at McDonald's everyday at my old job, for lunch. I didn't gain weight, but I did start to get chest pains." He then said, "Well, there's not much you can do. Some people are naturally thin. Heck, I used to weigh 132 lbs. (and he's as tall as I am BTW)." I said, "Wow. So you don't think my weight is a health issue or concern?" He replied, "No, I wouldn't worry about it." But just to be safe, I had him do some blood work, check my heart and do some other tests. I even asked him about weight gain supplements. I asked if I should try then; his response, "Well, they don't really work very well and are extremely expensive."

 

Anyway, got the results back and they said my cholesterol levels, heart rate and blood sugar are excellent. They said, "Well, you eat well, don't you?" I said, Nah. I eat fast food, junk food and lots of sugar everyday." They said, "Oh, well, you're in perfect health so you have nothing to worry about."

[Kevin T]

Same here, muscles don't appeal me at all, nothing whatsoever. My current b/f is of average weight as well as height (close to 5"8" and about 160 ibs and I'm 5"7" 145 ibs).

 

5'8" and 160 is pretty normal. I wouldn't exactly call that skinny. It ain't fat, but it's not the same as what I am talking about.

[Kevin T]

There are a lot of guys with your "problem" on a fitness forum i visit, realistically if you want to pack on weight you should be shooting for 4000 kcals a day and ~250 grams of protein. When you workout, lift heavy, it'll increase the number of androgen receptors in your muscle tissue and stimulate some mass growth.

 

But you've probably heard all that before, seriously, just make sure you dont look goofy in the clothes you wear (sorry all my skinny friends have that problem) and be confident, there are plenty of women who love slim guys.

 

Doesn't work. Tried it. I eat until I feel like I'm going to puke and it doesn't help. I've consumed upwards of 5000 cals a day and it didn't help. The only thing I can honestly say I did not try was any weight gain supplement. I seriously doubt if they will work.

 

 

And Juha... I completely understand where you're coming from. If women liked our type, we wouldn't be having this discussion. It's really as simple as that.

 

I've been teased and picked up about this my whole life (especially as a kid) and I've gotten sick of it. I'm sure it is the main reason why I'm not getting anywhere, and posts like yours, applepie's and others only confirm what I already know.

 

And Daligal, don't tell me to date women I am unattracted to. I'm not doing that. I don't believe I should have to, nor will I settle. I refuse. Your advice echoes the advice I received from that counselor I fired.

 

Kleopatra, you said, "When I really know someone, it doesn't matter..." So what about the guy you DON'T know from Adam who is hitting on you? Probably doesn't stand much of a chance with you if he's not a stud, right? Yeah, exactly.

[Its_B]

Yes, you probably will have to sift through at least a few of the wrong ones to find the right. But thats the way life works, I really don't believe it has to do with how thin you are. Don't try to fix whats not broken. There are LOTS of women who like thin boys. But isn't it more important to find someone who likes you and appriciates you for the person you are, not the shape of your body?

[Stinkweed]

What kind of doctor is that? McDonalds every day!? What's happening to this world. For the love of God don't go eat McDonald's every day! fast food/junk food is so damaging man, and when you're older, in your 30's you'll feel the effects. I don't think girls care much for the guy's weight. I've seen lots of skinny guys with hot dates, lots of athletic, yet still on the light side of the scate, guys with hot dates, lots of the more athletic/muscular guys with hot dates, as well as lots of shrek-style heavy guys with hot dates. You'd think girls care a lot about this, but truth is, they have a very different way of seeing attractiveness in a man than we do:

 

 

 

Read post #125, Grokker's post. It seems to me that it's very logical, and so close to the truth man. Well at least from what I've seen in my experience.

 

If you feel like you still ABSOLUTELY gotta change, then start lifting man. I started lifting, but not for the same reason, tho... I've got a couple of extra-pounds, but I'm not what you'd call "fat" still. But I think I could look better if I sculpted my body, cause the fat I've got is horribly distributed, lol. I'm still doin cardio to see if I can lose some of that extra fat as well, though. But in your case, maybe heavy lifting in order to increase volume rather than definition, I guess? And lots of proteins and calories man. Just pick a routine and stick to it (do, say, shoulders, back and neck monday wed and fri and do biceps, delts, legs tues thurs and sat, and pick sunday as a rest day. This is just an example, there are probably better combinations, but you get the idea), and you will start seeing results in a month or so, so don't give up too soon! I can almost assure you you will see results.

[Kevin T]

Start lifting? Yeah, I do that. Did you not read where I said that? I already do.

 

As for the doctor, I'm pretty sure he was making a joke. He's got a great sense of humour. But I just love it when people profess to know more than someone with a twelve year degree in medicine. That's awesome!

 

And I know I haven't seen lots of skinny or ugly looking guys with "hot dates." Hot friends, maybe, but not hot dates. Not sure where you are.

 

And Haven (forgot to address you), it is absolutely human nature to make such comparisons. Why else would so many females (and males now) be so weight-obsessed if they did not compare? People are constantly monitoring themselves and making adjustments accordingly. As for most people looking better naked... No, just no. Certainly there are some people who would look just plain... hot, in the buff, but others... just eww. I work with many people who are well over 300 or 400 lbs. I DON'T want to see them nude!

[heloladies21]

Come on Kev, squash one self limiting belief and then another one pops up?

 

Girls will not approach you unless you're in like the top 1% of good looking guys. Even then, it's not going to be the 10's. Even if they are so physically attracted to a guy, they're gonna expect him to make the move. I know you don't want to memorize any conversation starters, but this is the next step. Lemme throw this at you, let's say you read a really interesting story early in the day and talk to the guy in the cubicle next to you (this is a hypothetical, even if you don't work in an office work with me on it) and you ask him what he thinks about it. Let's say you go around the office and start talking to people about it, almost like taking a survey, getting opinions. What's the difference if you were in the middle of a bar talking to one of your guy friends, see some girl who's not even paying attention to you, and go to your friend "Hey, hang on, lemme get some other opinions on this" (loudly so she can hear you) and go up to her and just go right into it saying "Lemme ask you what you think about this..."? Is there really anything fake or not ginuine about this? No! You really wanna know. And this kind of opener is great and you will get into real life conversations with girls this way, ones that you'll be initiating.

 

She's not gonna be caring what you look like at that point, she's gonna be paying attention to what you say and the way you say it, your body language. This is the way it is in the real world. Criticizing yourself and being self conscious is getting you nowhere.

[Carl5000]

Perhaps because i'm 6ft 3 and 200lbs i don't give my body, height much of a second thought. I just see it as an asset. I have other weaknesses and apart from having a tiny * * * *, i don't really reflect on them too much. I have certain parts of my face i don't really llike, but i look at the big picture and seem to get admiring glances of women, so overall im satisfied with my overall form of the beautiful but i'm certainly no brad pitt. I wouldn't really change any of it.

 

As for being skinny, that never bothered me either. When i was 16, i was only ur weight and i only wanted to gain bulk for sport, not for women. I was just grateful that was slim and not overweight.

 

Some ppl are never satisfied and seek a type of ideal perfection, which few ppl can achieve. It seems like your making a mountain out of a molehill. I could empathise with you, if you said ur only 5ft 1in and its getting u down as its fixed and unchangeable for life and not many women find short men attractive, well especially midgets. But u've got height and your weight isn't fixed and you might be able to gain weight at some point. Just look to the positives man, seriously your tall and skinny say on the scale of beauty its a 6/10 it isnt the end of the world.

 

its llike me becoming disappointed because i haven't got the IQ of Steven Hawkings its totally irrational and ur always be unhappy searching for the unattainable. Hope that makes sense, im in a rush sorry.

[Kevin T]

She's not gonna be caring what you look like at that point, she's gonna be paying attention to what you say and the way you say it, your body language. This is the way it is in the real world. Criticizing yourself and being self conscious is getting you nowhere.

 

True, I wanted to know if my beliefs were justified or not, so I know whether I should put the effort out there to change. I've always had these beliefs floating around in the back of my mind and it is the main reason for my lack of initative with women. A history of being teased has given me a lot of doubts about myself now. I used to always believe I was quite attractive, and to ME, I still am. (And I do have a very cute face...) But if I'm the only one who thinks I'm good looking, then I cannot be correct. So what I think about myself means little if everyone else thinks otherwise.

 

I know I'd be a hit with gay men. lol Seriously. I would be. The only problem is, I'm not attracted to men. So that's out.

 

Trust me, Carl. My weight IS fixed. I cannot gain weight if the fate of the world depended on it. My parents are the same way (lovely genetics, huh?) Enter my dad: 6' and 135 lbs of pure Jim. lol And my mom, 5'4" and for years she weighed a meager 105 lbs. It was only after the change that she went up to a "hefty" 120 lbs. lol I wish I had fat parents.

 

And 6/10 is crap, especially when you've always saw yourself as more of an 8/10. And what chance does a pathetic 6/10 have with a 9 or 10/10? None, of course. I have a view of myself which is not compatible with reality. That's what's causing all of this.

 

And the thing is, no matter how nice I dress, smell or whatever, it's not going to make a difference. It's like putting a $20000 paint job on a 70s Pinto. It may be a beautiful paint job, but underneath its finish, it's still a Pinto.

[Stinkweed]

Start lifting? Yeah, I do that. Did you not read where I said that? I already do.

 

Then maybe you don't do it right? Anyway, I don't see why my post upset you so much, I was only trying to help. Besides, I envy your metabolism. I wish I were slim/slender. I used to weigh 250lbs about a year ago, and have been dieting (worst part is I LOVE eating... But now I kinda feel indifferent, cause I've gotten used to controlling myself. Sometimes I miss when I used to eat a lot, cause well, like I said, I LOVE eating, and true love never really dies) and working out ever since. I'm at about 195lbs, but I haven't lost a single pound in like 5 months, and I want to get to 175 (well I am 6'1" tall). I only did cardio throughout most of that year, because my initial goal was just to slim down. I started lifting, cause the fat that I've got left is "stored" awkwardly which makes me look pretty crappy (I've seen guys who weight 10-20 lbs more than I do, yet they look better than I do) so I think lifting would compensate somehow.

 

You said you haven't seen "UGLY" skinny guys (I don't see that many heavily muscular guys with lots of dates... I did a couple of times, but it was in Miami Beach, which is like one of the most shallow places to be) with hot dates, yet as I recall from a thread of yours from not so long ago, you said you, yourself, were at least decent looking, so whatever "ugly" guys do, shouldn't worry you. Why did you change your mind? Besides, like it says in that post I gave you the link to: girls will see different men with different levels of attractiveness regardless what they, themselves, look like (so it doesn't matter if the girl is a bit "heavier", she could still find you attractive. Just like some of the "lighter" girls might find "heavier" guys attractive). Their "scales" are not as universal as men's when rating physical beauty. Just read that post if you've got the time, it's got lots of good info on it, and it all makes sense.

 

I remember one of your recent threads (the one I brought up), and I admired your motivation and since my problem is not THAT different (boy do I need confidence in myself... I'm not 100% sure if that's your problem as well, but that's what I came to understand from that one thread. Pardon me if I'm mistaken) from yours, I thought "this guy's gonna start doing something about it. I ought to be ashamed of myself cause I'm not doing anything." I'm sure the answer about how to me more successful with the ladies is right inside of you.

[sddeaston]

I would say the first thing you need to do to be popular with the ladies is to change your mentality. They see that before you realize you are projecting it...and with that going for you, good luck. Honestly, just relax, its no science, they are just people too, just like yourself. Yeah, true, there ARE the B*T*H*S, but when you run into one just smile at her, and move on to someone who deserves your time. Its all good if you let it be.

[Kevin T]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do it right. I'd rather look strong and be able to lift only a few pounds, than be how I am. I'm the exact opposite, in fact. I look like a scrawny weakling, yet I'm actually really strong. I hate it.

 

Anyway, your post didn't upset me. I was already upset. I know you're only trying to help, and I took no offense. I'm just not very happy right now. It's certainly nothing personal, so don't take it that way. If you're 6'1", 195 lbs is perfectly acceptable. I'd kill to be in your shoes. I don't love my metabolism because it's caused me nothing but problems.

 

And I'm well aware of the heavier persuasion finding me attractive. That's one reason why I know I will end up dying alone, because I'm not going to settle for someone I am not attracted to. I shouldn't have to. I think I've said that enough to make my point clear on that. As for that link you gave me, it's a nice thought, but it's only one person's opinion (a guy's, at that) and it cannot be proven. I can speak from personal experience in my own life of what I see, hear and feel. And so I do.

 

I thought I was going to "do something about it" too. But then I stopped and thought about it; if my looks (not my personality) is what has been holding me back, then I'm screwed. There's little I can do to change that.

 

That is one of the reasons why I am so sympathetic towards people who are really overweight or obese. Almost all of my close friends are quite large and I really feel bad for them. They are ostracized simply because of the way they look and they can't do much about it. Some people have faster metabolic rates than others (sure, if you work out, diet and never eat, you may lose some weight), but it's so hard for them just to try and look "normal" and "attractive." It's not much different for me. I guess we were just crapped on in the genetic lottery. *shrugs*

 

I admire someone with motivation who can change; that's great. But I don't think that's me. Being sociable with girls isn't going to help me. Even if I did somehow learn how to become a complete master of social interactions and flirting with women, I'd still have a huge mark against me. With those odds, I get discouraged and figure, "Why bother?" I just don't see it as fair. Others are dealt such a better set of circumstances and they succeed because of it. Guys like us, we weren't long for this world. We were doomed before we even started.

 

And yeah, I never said I was "ugly." That's what my mother always tries to tell me. She goes, "Kevin, you're not ugly." And I said, "Of course not. I know that. But just because I'm not ugly (in the face) doesn't mean I'm attractive either." You can have a cute face and a grotesque body and vice versa. I've seen many girls who are "hot" but ugly, and some that are cute, but not hot at all. Does that make sense?

 

EDIT- Oh yeah, I had a prime example of how the opposite sex responds differently to me than other (more attractive) guys. I was buying something today and there was a guy in front of me. A pretty good looking guy. The clerk smiles at him, starts making chit chat with him and they have a nice chat then he leaves. How nice. Then I go up, put my stuff on the counter and don't even so much as get a hi, how's it going or anything. Why should a difference? Appearance is key, I believe. No wonder why I don't bother wasting my time talking to women, usually.

 

I'm tempted to go to become a monk in the mountains somewhere, studying scripture and living a life as a eunuch. Beats feeling like crap all day.

[triv]

I'm 5'11 and 145lbs and don't see being skinny as some handicap when it comes to women. So you don't have girls throwing themselves at you, welcome to reality where 99% of men don't either. Go out there and talk to them and display some self respect and confidence. You'll be surprised how little they care about your looks.

[Stinkweed]

EDIT- Oh yeah, I had a prime example of how the opposite sex responds differently to me than other (more attractive) guys. I was buying something today and there was a guy in front of me. A pretty good looking guy. The clerk smiles at him, starts making chit chat with him and they have a nice chat then he leaves. How nice. Then I go up, put my stuff on the counter and don't even so much as get a hi, how's it going or anything. Why should a difference? Appearance is key, I believe. No wonder why I don't bother wasting my time talking to women, usually.

 

Well, like I said, the way girls rate guys varies greatly from girl to girl. You can't expect ALL girls to find you attractive, but chances are some will. I dunno if you understood my point about heavier girls who are not confined to liking only heavier guys and for lighter girls who are not confined to like lighter guys. Girls will like different kinds of guys regardless what they, themselves (the girl), look like. Some heavy girls might find you attractive, some might not. The opposite is also true: some lighter girls will find you attractive, some will not. Some short girls will find you attractive, some will not. Some hot girls will find you attractive, some will not. And so forth.

 

I think what your mom does is just plain wrong (my parents have never done that to me, but I know my grandmother did that to my father, and he turned out alright, and even as a youth he was alright. In fact, he was much more "normal" than I've ever been). It's no different than being bullied on grade school (it destroys your self esteem... And in fact, I think it's worse). And that doesn't help at all. Whether you'll someday get a date or not wasn't predetermined by your genetics, though, man. Why can't people just understand that... Some people call winners "lucky", but they are not lucky, they just know how to play the game. But how did they learn? I'm pretty sure it wasn't smooth ride, just like it isn't for all of us. Did they give up? No, that's why they got to where they are. Man, you gotta understand that you're only given one life. Stop living it like you've got a chance to be reborn but with a better genetic make up. It won't happen (well I've never heard of anyone to whom it did happen ). Everything is possible if you put your mind to it. And I'm pretty sure you can do this man.

 

You said you'd kill to be 6'1" and 195lbs like me, right? Well, can you guess how many dates I've been on? Can't be better than you, cause the magic number is 0. And I KNOW for a fact the problem with me is my attitude. I BELIEVE I'm decent-looking, so confidence in my appearance is not my main problem (although I know for a fact I'm no abercrombie model, and I've also had scenarios, like the one you described with the cashier, happen to me. Not ALL girls state/glare at me, but SOME do). However, I know my social skills are terrible, and sometimes I give off the wrong impression. You said you used to believe your problem was your attitude, right? Did you ever fix it? If not, then how do you know your physique is an obstacle? It could be an asset, or maybe it just doesn't matter. You'll never know if you don't fix your attitude.

 

Treat it like a scientific experiment. Your variables are physique and attitude. You haven't changed either of those, right? Well try changing one. The easier one to change, will obviously be attitude. If it doesn't work you will be able to come up with a conclusion, not just a hypothesis. I can pretty much assure you that if you only changed your physique, you still wouldn't get many dates. How do I know? Well I used to be pretty heavy man, at 250 lbs + a bad attitude. I changed my physique, and now I at least don't look so "tubby", but haven't changed my attitude. The result: everything's exactly the same, I've still got 0 dates. That's right, no dates with ugly girls, or with skinny girls, or with hot girls or with heavier girls, (what ever type) EVER even to this day. It's not like I haven't tried asking them out/flirting (that's right, I've even tried with "ugly" girls cause I believed in that beggars can't be choosers BS. Althoug I did find something attractive about these "ugly" girls, be it their intelligence or other personality traits. Anyway, truth is, sometimes it seems my chances with some hot girls are just as good as with some "ugly" girls, so why go for the latter when you could have the former? And it's true, cause, like I said, girls find guys attractive regardless what they, themselves, look like. So, that's one thing I'm gonna be changing for sure), I just fail miserably sometimes, mostly because of my attitude and poor social skills and insecurity. I'm not lying here.

 

I hope what I said makes sense to you. I can't CONVINCE you to see things my way, but I do want you to know that I at least sorta know what I'm talking about, especially cause I just used my personal experience as an example. I'm no better than you, and hopefully not worse either, lol, so you could expect the same results.

 

Try to relax too man. All this talk about becoming a monk... Girls can almost sense desperation. Well man, in the end it's your choice whether to even try it or not. Best wishes and good luck.