The ring and pricing

[just30]

Well as me and my girl get closer to the year mark we have talked about marriage. With that, comes the ring.. Well recently went looking so I could get an idea on what she likes... Well! OMG.. She was looking at rings that cost $30,000... No wait here is one for $22,500! I almost thought we were looking for a new car.. I'm just not going to go indebt for something like this.. How conmen is this? I want to spend no more then $5,000.. I think that is more then enough.. I know of only 1 person that has something that cost more then $8,000. And that is their 2nd ring and they are well into their 40's. I'm just 30! Who in their right mind would want to have something that expensive on their hand all the time! I know everyone getting married isn't rich... She said once you marry you just add a band. We didn't look at the bands.. How much would something like that cost?

[DN]

If she was serious about wanting a ring costing that much I would rapidly get very serious about calling off any idea of marriage. Are you sure she wasn't joking?

[Juliana]

Yeah, be afraid, but also, when women are in jewellry stores, they look at and try on the most expensive stuff there, because it's the closest they'll ever get to it. Come on, didn't you ever want to just get behind the wheel of a Porsche?

 

Nah, five grand is plenty, more than enough. I can't even imagine a ring that expensive, myself; I was arguing my husband down to less expensive rings, and even now, I rarely wear it -- what if I lost it?

 

A little realism is a good thing in a marriage, and if she doesn't have it, you're going to have to.

[Dako]

When I was married, she wore a $50 band. It worked just fine and never needed repairs.

 

If someone wanted a $5K ring from me, I'd run far and fast.

 

I see people. Heavily in debt people. They just don't know they're poor...

[Siriana]

Are you shure she wants such an expencive ring or she just have good taste and spots a good piece? When I enter a shop or at the jewllery you can bet that I will like the most expencive thing there - and I don't even see the price tag, you could actually know what is the most expensive thing just because I am looking at it. But that doesn't mean I will buy it. I have no money for that. So I try to find some compromise and I choose something that is nice, elegant, with long lasting design but not expensive.

 

Maybe she was just showing what she likes and you could remember how the rings looked like so you could choose something smilar in your price range.Was she aware that you two are looking for a ring? Maybe she was just having fun looking at those pricy things? We woman really like to look expencive stuff - even if we can't afford it. Or even if we could in most cases we would buy something more practical.

Since you two are getting married how about talking about price range you could afford to yourself. Again, I really doubt it that she wants you to buy her such an expensive ring. But just in case check it up - make sure you attitude about money is compatible. If she doesn't realizes that American Express is money, and that there is such thing as interest rates and that every debt has to be paid off - I suggest thinking about the marriage twice.

 

I mean 30000 $ for a ring - were were you looking - at Bvlgari?! 5000 is a lot of money too. Come on, I come from east europe - my limit would be max 500 $, and I would be in debt for that! So I think that spending even 5000 is way to much - of course if you were donald trump I would call you cheap

Also after you buy that ring you have to pay it off and also it isn't going to be your last expense - but your first. How about a house, a kid, schooling, credits, car..... So I suggest talking about it. make sure you have the same prorities.And don't doubt your sane judgment about how much a ring should cost.

[southerngirl]

Maybe shes dreaming. One can dream! So she showed you what she likes, now you know the style she prefers and you can find something thats more inside your price range.

 

I agree 5000 is plenty enough if not TOO MUCH to spend on a ring set. Show her something that is more in your price range but fits the style she showed you. Ask her how she would feel about the others, its possible that she would be just as happy.

 

If not, then maybe this is in indication of the future with her.

[Dako]

I'd wonder what she expects just30 to feel when she does that.

[annie24]

i agree that you shouldn't go in debt over a ring. I am exactly like syrix. I can walk into ANY store, art gallery, jewerly store, and the piece I like the most will be the most expensive one. yeah, diamonds get rather pricey, and it is really an artificial price and a lot of diamonds subsidize bloody civil wars in africa. looking at it from that perspective, I'm not sure that a diamond from an area of war-torn africa is really a beautiful symbol of marriage. yikes!

 

anyways, there are other options. you can get man-made diamonds, they are far less pricey and have a more humane history. there are other lovely stones, like a ruby or a sapphire, or white topaz, these can also be very nice rings.

 

talk to her about it, what she wants.... but I agree with the others.... $20,000 is a lot of money, and if you are struggling, and don't own your home, there are far better ways $20,000 can be spent.... Many couples upgrade their rings as the years go on. maybe for your 10th or 20th anniversary, you can get her a more flashy ring, if that is what she wants.

 

i've read some financial books that say don't buy a luxury item until you've saved up 5 times that amount. ie, don't buy a $20,000 ring until you have $100,000 in savings.

 

anyways, talk to her, and I hope my ramblings helped. good luck

[justpaisley]

Hey, $30K on a ring is great... IF you can afford it.

 

I do stuff like that to my husband all the time, like begging (playfully) for a $15,000 couch from Restoration Hardware. Most of the time, he'll go "Sure, honey, we'll just sell both of the cars and get ourselves a couch." Sometimes, if I catch him at a good time, he'll look at me like I'm nuts and I have a good laugh. Are you totally sure that's not what your girlfriend's doing? I don't think anyone without the last name Gates or Trump would seriously ask for a $30,000 ring. Or a $30,000 anything that you couldn't live in.

 

If she is serious, it's high time you sat down with her and talked about your finances. If you go into marriage without her having any idea what your financial status is and seriously expecting extravagant things, you're in for a long, hard road. She needs to have realistic expectations as to what you can and can't afford before you attach her to your credit rating.

[Dako]

Paisley,

I agree. If it's a joke, cool. If not...it's time to talk.

[rose2summer]

I agree with the others, that's way too much money and what for?

 

It's just a ring and not a true sentiment of your love towards her.

 

Material things are not a representation of your love.

 

My last two exes had shown me $25k rings and I was so turned off and offended now I think about it.

 

The reasoning behind it really angered me.

 

They thought I should have a fancy ring so when their professional associates saw me, it was like an investment, like a trophy wife, with the nice ring.

 

Your future wife is not a possession, she's a person, so buy accordingly.

 

Find what your budget allows but definitely don't go above 5k, that's horrendously expensive.

 

Hugs, Rose

[SaucyTart]

My view may be a little extreme to some ppl....but here it goes...

 

I got engaged when I was 21 (needless to say it didn't work out My fiance at the time let me pick my ring. We went to a reputable jeweller. What I picked cost 1250.00. I absolutely loved it. It was like 0.50 karrot, 14k white gold, and the color and clarity was great. Sure, there were rings that were thousands of dollars (they looked gaudy as heck to me)...but the important point is...I was getting prepared for a marriage, and not a wedding/engagement. If she loves you, the ring doesn't matter. It should be about sharing your life together, not the size and expense of the ring.

 

I am not trying to pass judgement on your gf...(and I really hope she was just giving you ideas about what she liked)...but those who are adament about getting a huge ring...to me seems like a way to 'brag' to their friends/family/strangers about how 'rich' their bfs are...hense the huge diamond. Just my 2 cents

[VeganBohemian]

Most rings that I know people have cost between 500 and 5000 dollars. Not 30000!

[AngelEyez]

I'd be happy with any type of ring. Maybe your girlfriend is very materialistic. She should know that the cost of ring shouldn't matter, and that what it symbolizes is what counts.

[moonbeam111]

Well, she probably talks to her girlfriends. They tell her what to expect and what is right (because they read bridal magazines!!!). She is a little dizzy and disoriented now because of the wedding, marriage, and all that stuff. Tell her how much money you would have left every month to pay bills in a future if you bought a very expensive ring. Tell her that you two would only eat out once a year if she wears that ring. A little reality check. With love.

[RayKay]

Um, yeah, that is WAY WAY WAY too much money in my opinion for a ring....that money is so much better to go towards a house if you have it for example! If that is what a ring would cost in her mind..what about the wedding...yikes!

 

You should NOT go into debt over a ring, and while the general guideline is 2-3 months salary this should be adjusted for your OWN situation. Personally, I believe it is the intent that matters more than the ring, and I am happy with something that does not turn my hand green - nothing more. In my case for example, knowing we have a lifetime together to spend money on, including mortgage payments and student loans, and future children and vacations...well, there are way better ways to spend that money in my opinion! $500-$1,500 CDN at the extreme end is perfectly acceptable to me.

 

Do not start your marriage in debt over the ring...as it won't be the last thing you end up in debt over...and financial partnership in marriage is equally as important as any other aspect. Most marriages end due to repeated disputes over finances....not just what you have, but how it is spent and budgeted.

[someguy69]

Unless you are super-rich, and feel the need to maintain a certain social status while hob-nobbing at the country-club, there's absolutely no reason to spend that kind of money on a piece of jewelry.

 

I would advise against even visiting stores that carry rings in that price range. You'd do far better at a store where a $5,000 ring was one of their more expensive rather than one of their cheapest.

[Batya33]

I do not want an expensive ring for several reasons including practicality and logic. But, I am surprised there is so much criticism over wanting an expensive ring. Isn't the point more what he can afford as opposed to how much it costs? My advice is to figure out how much you want to spend - I think the guidelines about the salary are a reasonable place to begin - and communicate with your fiancee about the finances. But to call someone materialistic because they want a 30k ring is silly in my point of view - I am sure there are people who think that buying any diamond is materialistic so I'm not sure what the point is of the line drawing.

[DN]

It may not be materialistic depending on your definition of that word but given the OPs financial status it is grasping and greedy. Since when does the person receiving an engagement ring get to dictate, or even suggest, how much should be spent on the ring or how much her guy can afford?

 

Those 'guidelines' are set by the people who most profit from the transaction.

[annie24]

Since when does the person receiving an engagement ring get to dictate, or even suggest, how much should be spent on the ring or how much he can afford?

 

LOL. well, I guess the person receiving the engagement ring is either accepting or declining the engagement (along with the ring) so they have some say.

 

if they want to say, "I'm not marrying you unless you buy me a $30,000 ring", then the guy can't really complain about her spending habits later on when she just bought 200 pairs of shoes. If someone is demanding a $30,000 ring, it seems pretty clear what kind of a life you have ahead of you if you marry her.

[SilverManic]

Yeah I'd say that if she was serious which she probably wasn't then you need to sit down and talk to her. $30k is much to much for a ring. I've seen some beautful sets at the mall for $500 and $5k is even way too much are you insaine? O.O; When I married my husband I got a $30 from ebay because we were on a budget. To tell you the truth I wasn't even bothered. I was marrying him not the ring! He told me some day when we have more money he will get me one that will last longer and I told him that he doesn't need to hurry. It's ment to be about love not about what you can get price wise.

[booberry]

I study art conservation, and one of our fields is rocks and minerals. A geologist at the museum commented on something that stuck with me. He said, it makes NO sense to buy a diamond and consider it an "investment". The diamond market is heavily controlled and there will ALWAYS be enough diamonds to meet the demand. Spending that much money on something that isn't a real investment (cause we aint running out of diamonds!) is ridiculous. I just thought I'd bring this up if that thought ever crossed her or your mind as a justification for spending an extraordinary amount of money on some carbon.

[Newo Ikkin]

 

Mine cost £425, and we both had a fit about that.

If she wants the right to cost that much, how much is she looking at for the wedding dress?!

Pack up your hiney and join the circus.

[Blsmith007]

I actually have been looking/researching rings for the past 2 weeks and I usually get all the information on subjects before going to buy something very expensive. And i think 5k is very pricey for a ring. i have been looking at spending 1800-2600. My g/f and I when looking for "ideas" and she fell in love w/ a ring thats 2999 and i think is the best one we saw too and i have been hinting that its too expensive but i know i will end up buying that for her because she fell in love w/ it and really i did too. But if your g/f is hinting that a ring is soo materialistic and has too be something that pricey you should really talk to her about it and try and understand it from her view and why she really wants that soo expensive ring which from my info is something like a 8 carat rock and proably something that sparkles accross a football field. well good luck w/ everything.

Brandon

[onmyownagain]

If you spend more than $1000 make sure she knows it is on loan until the day you die. If you divorce then it is yours again.