someguy69

Well, the past few months have been pretty crazy. Her mother had a stoke around the end of summer, and since then we've been going back and forth to the hospital, and then before you know it Christmas was here, and then we went on vacation (a cruise with her brother, and friends of theirs), and while on vacation suddenly plans were being laid to get married on a cruise next January (a family friend she plans these cruises with had next year's cruise all planned out and had started booking it), and by the time we got back her family was making deposits for next year's cruise -- the wedding cruise, and she's telling all her friends and family about it, and now they are making invitations (I hope they haven't mailed them yet). Before the vacation we didn't have wedding plans set in stone yet... we had a tentative date for next February. I haven't had many recent opportunities to tell her about my feelings as her family has been around all the time, and yes, he mother's condition has made things more difficult. I think part of her hurry is that she wants to get married while her parents are still alive.

Well, my feet are pretty icy at the moment. Our relationship has been through a lot of ups and downs over the past 3 1/2 years, but in retrospect it seems to have been degrading rapidly from my point of view. I'm not feeling happy with the relationship, and things seem to be getting worse rather than improving. As for her, all she seems to care about is the wedding. It's just the next item on her life agenda, and seems to be the only thing of any imporantance.

I've been engaged for the past five months or so, perhaps much more due to pressure to get engaged than my own incentive, but now that a date has been set and plans are being made and invitations are about to be mailed out, I am in a very serious panic to as whether or not this is what I really want, if I'm ready to be married and even if this is the person I really want to marry. For the past few months we haven't had much alone time as she lives with her brother, and I've been visiting her there all the time recently as her mother has been ill in the hospital, and her parents are now also living with them... so her family is always around. She's all gung-ho and her family is all involved, and I just feel like I'm trapped on a runaway freight-train.

I agree, I was just stating that this is a world-wide problem, and is relative to the wealth of the country. The richest person in America is many times richer than the richest person in Mexico, just as the poorest person in America is many times better off than the poorest person in Mexico. Because it is more visible in your country, you should be more inspired to try and do something about it.

You had a great highschool experience... some people have terrible highschool experiences. Lets just say you were lucky Don't give up hope though, you just have to make new friends. It sounds like you had no trouble making friends in high school, so it should be just as easy in college. Just give it a bit of time.

This gap... the division between the classes exists everywhere, it's just a little more disguised in first world countries. There are some on the "better" side of the gap who desire for things to be more fair. Unfortunately they are more the in minority the higher up the pyramid you go. I would encourage you, and those others who find themselves marginalized not only to work towards climbing the pyramid and bridging the gap, but as you climb to not forget what it was like to be where you are now, and to work towards making things more fair and equal for everyone. Every little bit helps.

Take the advice of your signature. Love isn't something you can control... he obviously doesn't love you like you thought he did... and if you truly love him, you've going to have to let him go.

Yes, but is the money he'll be getting significantly larger than what you'd be getting? I would imagine so as he was the one with the brain injury. It could be possible that he wants a divorce before the settlement so that he doesn't have to share it with you.

Might want to hold off on the divorce until he gets his settlement.

It will pass... not to worry.

For one to truly understand, they need to experience it for themself. I would suggest doing the same thing back to her so that she can see how it feels. Next time you see a hot chick, do the exact same thing and see how she reacts. Only after this will you properly be able to convey to her how much you don't appreciate it.

I would take your own advice.

Is she able to orgasm through masturbation? If so, is she able to make herself climax with you in the room? If not, maybe that should be the first step. If she has never, ever had an orgasm, then perhaps she should attempt that first before you set the goal of an orgasm from oral stimulation.

It is not uncommon for people who get married to start a completely new life, leaving old friends behind -- especially if they associate "unapproved" behavior with you, and especially once they have children. People who are married with kids tend to want to distance themselves a much as possible from anything that would tempt them to engage in "youthful indiscretions", or any possibility that their children would pick up on any of your past -- or her past for that matter. Parents tend to be very secretive about their "young and crazy" years in order to be "better" authority figures. My best advice to you would be to make new friends... because obviously your old friend has moved on with her life. Please note that I don't believe her behaviour is the best course of action... just that it would likely be futile to try and convince her to reconsider. I personally believe that parents should be more honest with their children -- once they are old enough to understand of course.

You obviously didn't read what I wrote. I said legalized and regulated prostitution, as they have in the Netherlands (Amsterdam) as well as some other first world countries. Forced slave-labour prostitution is like comparing a child-labour sweat-shop to the modern work-place. A prostitute that services ten clients per day and practices safe sex every single time (no exchange of body fluids, no kissing, oral sex and penetration only involving condoms) is far less likely to contract or transmit an STD than a woman who sleeps with only five different men per year, but is more lax in her safe sex practises.

Did you read what you wrote? Having two husbands would only be good if you manage to have them both treat you like you were queen.

If most women who like women really sat down and thought about it, they'd be smart to want to have a household whereby there were two wives. Likewise, if most men who were entertaining such a scenario, they'd be smart not to even suggest it. He's why... First of all, the man is expected to be the primary bread-winner. Supporting a family with one wife is hard enough (even if she works). Supporting two wives would be even harder, unless all three of you work and are all contributing to household expenses... but in reality it would make more sense for one wife to be a career wife, and the other one to be a house wife... meaning that you'd have two incomes, but another person to support (and perhaps more children to boot). It's also hard enough for me to remember all the special occasions for one wife, let alone two! That would be an extra birthday, and extra anniversary (unless you all got married on the same day, but then you'd have some other sort of "day we met" anniversary), and twice the number of present ideas to come up with... and then the kicker -- keeping everything fair and equal. Then you'd need some sort of sex schedule, because after having all kinds of threesomes, you'd all get tired of it (because threesomes require much more work and energy than twosome sex), and soon there'd be nitpicking over who gets who when, and for what special occasion. Now that we've covered why it would suck for the guy... here's why it would benefit the women. First of all, the balance of power would favour the women. Any time an issue comes up that the woman agree on, the man would be outnumbered two to one -- every time. (Men -- imagine your mother-in-law always being there to side with your wife... every day of your life). Secondly, there would always be someone else who wasn't too busy to help with (or do) the housework, the dishes, the laundry, make dinner change diapers, etc, and always be someone there to gossip with. Lastly, if you didn't feel like sex tonight, you could always say, "go sleep with her tonight".

On prostitution... There is a dark and light side to prositution. Where prostitution is legal, prostitutes are subject to regular STD testing, health care and education. They always use condoms and practice safe sex. Your chances of catching a disease from a prostitute like this are far less than with some one night stand picked up from a local club, and maybe even less than with your girlfriend. Where prostitution is illegal, and/or where women are forced into prostitution, things can be more of a gamble. Often they are not properly educated in safe sex, and are also more likely to be IV drug users, and take personal risks with their health. Some may be willing to forgo use of condoms for some sexual acts if offered more money, and hence are more likely to acquire an STD and/or pass one on to a client. As for frequency of prostitution, I suspect that men may be more likey to frequent prostitutes where prostitution is illegal. For one thing, it has more of a forbidden fruit allure when it is illegal. Secondly, it would be more clandestine. Where prostitution is illegal, prostitutes have to operate far more discretely, perhaps out of their apartment. Where is it legal, they would operate out of a bordello in a designate section of town. If a man is visiting the red-light district, it is fair to assume that he may have been associating with a prostitute. If the prostitute he visits is in his own neighborhood or near his workplace, then it would be far less obvious. thereforeeee, if you despise the thought of your boyfriend or husband from hooking up with a prostitute, then you should really support the idea of legalized and regulated prostitution in your area. It would make things less tempting for him.

While the CIA did experiement with LSD as an interrogation and mind control drug, they found it ineffective. LSD is not used for controlling people. The drugs used to "drug" someone are the ones that will render them passive and docile. Stupified. These would have to be depressants and include a large range of substances from alcohol, to tranquilizers, to opioids (i.e. heroin). You're not going to successfully rape someone if they are running around screaming at demons. For the record, drugs like LSD offer glimpses of both heaven and hell.

You hit the nail on the head there -- selfish. A FFM encounter is about the only threesome situation that allows for a non-selfish "fair" shared sexual experience, and only when each person takes a turn being the "king" or "queen". That would be where every so often (say 5-10 minute periods) attention gets rotated whereby two of the three pay attention to the other one... M and F1 pay attention to F2, M and F2 pay attention to F1, then F1 and F2 pay attention to M.

I was just pointing out that even a FFM tends to be more slanted in your favour than his... so technically an even ratio of MMF to FFM encounters is not at all fair unless he's bisexual. I agree that a guy should be willing to entertain your MMF fantasy in exchange for entertaining his FFM fantasy, but what sort of rules of play do you expect? Does your MMF fantasy involve intercourse with both men? Would you in turn allow a FFM encounter whereby your man had intercourse with the other woman? How far does "it's only fair" go?

Essentially a FFM threesome is more "fair", as a much, much higher percentage of women are attracted to other women, whereas a much, much lower percentage of men are attracted to other men. Secondly, intimacy between women comes much more naturally than intimacy between men. Just stop and think for a moment -- for a woman to be intimate with another woman in front of their man would not raise questions about her sexuality... the only thing it would raise would be his penis. If an otherwise straight man was intimate with another man in front of his woman, there is far more chance of her being turned off and questioning his sexuality. Hence the most common MMF situation involves both men only paying attention to the woman... and this is likely how most parties involved would prefer it... but it does make for a situation unfairly balanced in favor of the woman. The most common FFM situation also involves most attention being paid to the women (particularly the primary partner of the man involved). Essentially the two women make out and perhaps go down on each other, then the man is allowed some limited interaction (mostly with his primary partner to prevent her from getting jealous). Situations involving both women paying attention to the man is less common, and situations whereby the man is actually allowed to have intercourse with both of the women are quite rare.

Way to go Personally, I don't understand the appeal of coke. I've tried it on several occasions, but it doesn't really do anything for me... certainly not anything worth the price. Nobody I've talked to who does coke has been able to give me a good reason why they do it either. Unless you have some great and wonderful reason that you can explain why coke is "worth it", then I think you have your "tip" right there -- just tell yourself over and over again that it's not worth it.

There is an unfortunate natural tendency for a partner to take advantage of (and lose some respect for) the other partner if they are "too nice". Basically a lot of unconscious psychological issues arise. If the other partner appears to be too nice and too easy to get along with, the other partner may generate mixed feelings of guilt (that they are not as "nice") and suspicion ("why are they being so nice?"), leading to resentment and anger. As for gender specific roles, women do tend to favour (and reward) a confident, take-charge role from their partners, and will penalize their partner for being too "weak". One caveat to this is that for issues that are particularly important to the women, they expect to retain veto power for.

There's no need to label yourself as anything other than a sexual human being. BTW, a lot of men are turned on by the idea of a bisexual woman, so don't worry about scorn in that department.