To Girls, what do you think of inexperienced guys?

[Salucious]

Here's my question, I'm a 22 year old guy, in college, never had a girlfriend or been on a date. I'm just now feeling confident around girls so I'm hoping to start relationships. The thing is, when it comes to relationship stuff like intimacy, (kissing, sex, etc.) I'm totally inexperienced. Now I know everyone's got to start at one point, but b/c I'm in college and most attractive girls my age have probably been on dates/had relationships, I was worried that my inexperience would be a turn off. So my main concern is that I'll embarrass myself when I try to get close to a girl. How willing are girls to put up with that kind of thing or "show me the ropes"? Or do most girls expect a guy to have all the right moves by my age?

[TheRedQueen]

In the past I've been very willing to teach, and kind of turned on by inexperienced men. So I don't think you have too much to worry about.

[quietgrl]

Salucious,

 

How about being yourself and don't worry about your lack of experience.I would focus on relating to a woman verbally instead of sexually.

[Cadence308]

I think most women would be flattered that you haven't been around the block many times and if the interest is mutual they will be willing to be your first. Many people get nervous going on a date, so I wouldn't worry about being nervous about that. Just take things one step at a time and the rest will come later...

[friscodj]

Hey bro, I would listen to TheRedQueen there...I'm 30 years old, have been dating since I was 16...and she's even shown me a thing or two...

[Honey Pumpkin]

One of the sweetest sexual memories of my life was a 24 year old Irish virgin. He was so happy and enthusiastic and grateful and lovely!! No, not a turn-off at all - get the right girl though, and don't be just about losing your virginity.

Be honest and upfront as well - don't pretend to be something you're not. Promise you, it won't be a problem...!!

[Belgian girl]

Guess I'ld prefere someone who's almost unexperienced. I think it's harder to wait losing virginity than to lose it (in my case it is..) so maybe you could even be proud on it. Only reason I think that I could see it as a disadvantage is b/c there could be less chance you (the girl)'ld be the last one for example b/c some of them especially just want to learn. Don't worry, it shouldn't be a turn-off.

[SarahRose]

Ahhh I love virgin men!

 

The are the sweetest, enthusiastic and eager to please!

[valiantv]

By the way, this site might give a few pointers "just in case":

 

link removed

 

(though the women on here might have to confirm its accuracy)

[shes2smart]

In a sense, when we start a relationship with someone new we are all inexperienced...because we don't know what specific likes/dislikes our new partner has.

 

Technical knowledge will only take you so far, what makes for "good sex" is highly individual and something that we are continually learning about ourselves and about any partners we may have throughout our lives.

 

In your early 20's, I doubt anyone's seriously expecting a partner to be hugely experienced. Given some of the discussions here on other threads about "how many partners is too many," I'd hazard a guess that "inexperienced" or "not very experienced" is seen as a positive by many people....especially many women who don't want to feel like they are just another conquest.

[theproman23]

Listen man, I've been in the same situation. As embarrasing as it is to say I had my first kiss about 3 months ago and the relationship did'nt really work out but I learned a lot of things. First think you need to remember is not to settle. DO NOT settle just for the experience. Find the right person even if it is for casual dating cause that will make the biggest difference. I think most women would be ok with an inexperienced guy, it's hard to be confident but just be yourself and you'll be just fine.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Ahhh I love virgin men!

 

The are the sweetest, enthusiastic and eager to please!

Yes we are.

 

And it's good to know we are appreciated.

 

As long as we leave our How To manual home and not count 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi out loud while we're making love, then we'll be alright. I guess.

[Shadow25]

HAHAHAHHAHAAH!

 

Well, it is good to see we are appreciated...my friend from martial arts who's had experience with older women told me that they teach you a hell of alot, not just about relationships, but about life itself...

 

However...I dunno about being mothered by an older woman...but i'm sure that they kindof lead the way in one sense.

 

I have never had a girlfriend, never kissed, never done anything...and I feel that as being a downside to me, but...I guess the more mature women feel that it's sweet to find an inexperienced guy.

[potc]

in my opinion i'd b quite relieved if a guy i was seein was inexperienced because it wud mean he wudn't b comparing me to anyone else n i wudn't feel under pressure to make an impression being inexperienced myself. that way we's both b learnin

[jazzgirrl]

I've dated a guy who was 10 years younger than me and very inexperienced. At first it was a turn-on...then it became to be quite a hassle...simply because he wasn't willing to LEARN. Can you imagine my frustration?? Needless to say, this is one relationship I wasn't sorry to see go.

[jazzgirrl]

in my opinion i'd b quite relieved if a guy i was seein was inexperienced because it wud mean he wudn't b comparing me to anyone else n i wudn't feel under pressure to make an impression being inexperienced myself. that way we's both b learnin

 

Agreed. The fact that he didn't have anyone else to compare me with...was a nice benefit. But his lack of experience also affected the quality of our relationship.

[Luke Skywalker]

I think we are going to get hypocritical answers from the ladies here, because they want to look good (just kidding) I think it really boils down to personaly and attitude. YOu can be inexperienced and have a very lousy attitude about it, and that could be a turn-off in itself. The whole thing is conveying a good attitude and passion - inexperience is neutral to both those ideas. So, if inexperience bothers you and you are masking it and compensating for it, or you feel jealous of the other party's experience, then I can tell you from first hand experience, it doesn't work.

[SquareWheel]

Hey all... Well, the replies from some of the ladies here have given a lot of encouragement. I'm still (reluctantly) a virgin in my forties, and everyone tells me I shouldn't admit it because women will expect a guy my age to have been around the block at least a time or two.

 

But I'd always thought women find an adult virgin intriguing. And I think we have some pretty impressive selling points. Perhaps most importantly, we're the final word in safe sex. As one poster pointed out, we're extremely appreciative and respectful, not being jaded by past experience. We're also "trainable", because we haven't had the chance to pick up any bad habits, and most of us are willing to be molded to your tastes. We're eager to learn! And eager to please. And anyway, do you really want to share yourself intimately with a guy who has a dozen other women's fingerprints all over him? Who you just know is mentally comparing you to God knows how may other women he's been with?

 

The main objection I've seen expressed by women is that they think there must be something wrong with a guy who's been unable to find a lover by my age. In my case, I'm a tall, slim, youthful, presentable-looking fellow who's just over-sensitive and too-cerebral enough to be a mite uncomfortable in social situations. That's it. Is it really such a bad thing that I wasn't cut out for cynical fox-hunting in singles bars, night clubs and other meat markets?

 

Heck, when I think about it, it makes me wonder why any woman would ever want a guy who wasn't a virgin!

 

And to those of you ladies posting here who do appreciate us inexperienced guys, my hat's off to you. Very few guys like me will ever have the good fortune to meet a woman like you, but those who do are the luckiest guys in the world.

[New_Horizons]

And anyway, do you really want to share yourself intimately with a guy who has a dozen other women's fingerprints all over him? Who you just know is mentally comparing you to God knows how may other women he's been with?

 

 

I agree with everything you said. The above statement brings up a point which I think should be made. By that same token, some guys (particularly virgin guys, though not all of them) would not want to be with a woman who has a dozen guys' fingerprints all over her. A lot of women (and men too) get offended if their partner is uncomfortable with their past, as if the past is like some previous life. It's not. The past influences the present and every partner has the right to know and the right to refuse sex if they are uncomfortable with it.

 

Obviously, the most compatible relationship would be between like and like (virgin guy and virgin girl). Problem is, by the age of 30 there are way more virgin guys than virgin women.

[SquareWheel]

Actually, New Horizons, you know what's ironic? Despite being a frustrated virgin myself, I don't really have the virgin fetish that so many guys seem to have.

 

Perhaps it'd be best if I could find another virgin for my first time; we could take care of each other and learn together. It could be a beautiful, perfect introduction to sex for both of us.

 

But on the other hand, it could also be the blind leading the blind.

 

I'd certainly be open to working through the First Time experience with another virgin. But really, what I mostly dream of for my first time is finding (or being found by!) an experienced, uninhibited woman willing to teach an inexperienced guy.

 

Surely there must be women out there who'd appreciate an untouched, appreciative, eager-to-please guy who'll adore them unconditionally. The great challenge for us adult virgins is finding a way to "market" ourselves and let them know we're here and available.

 

Any suggestions on this?

[Blured]

I'd much rather have an inexperienced guy than one thats cocky and has a 'know-it-all' attitude.. actually, I'd much rather have an inexperienced guy in general

[New_Horizons]

Square Wheels, from a purely physical perspective, I would probably feel the same way. But at a deeper level, I would always be insecure knowing that I wasn't her first. Of course, that's just me and every virgin guy has different priorities. Perhaps it would be OK just for the first time, but for a serious relationship I'd prefer a virgin girl. But that brings up another paradox, I wouldn't be a virgin anymore so that makes me a hypocrite

[X.Smith.X]

There is nothing wrong with that ppl just have to learn to accept that if they don't they just aint the one

[SquareWheel]

Wow, Blured, I like your attitude. There should more women like you.

 

Good point, New Horizons. Yeah, when I think about it, I can see how a virgin guy who found himself in an ongoing relationship with an experienced woman might feel uncomfortable knowing that she'd had more experienced men, and might wonder about how he'd compare to them.

 

And it wouldn't make you a hypocrite if you both weren't virgins any more, by way of each other.

[Allie.]

inexperienced men are adorable.

 

i like being the "aggressive" one perse.