Wonderland

[shes2smart]

Thursday & Friday

 

The following exchange (or something very similar) has transpired between me and a variety of people at both of my places of employment:

 

Me: I have something for you to listen to...it's on my phone (said while pulling up my dialed calls, dialing the appropriate one and handing them my phone)

Me: You don't have to listen to the whole thing

Them: Listening.....then recognition or a "is that you?"

Me: (taking back phone) Do you know what that was? That was the sound of the first freelance work I didn't have to go looking for....they came to me.

Them: various congratulatory statements

 

And this was a rather upbeat, happy exchange with no real deeper emotion....until I had it with the station engineer...the one who helped me set up the studio and has been one of the main folks who has walked with me through this project from that first glimmer of inception. And just as I was about to tell him what he was listening to, it all hit me. And while I didn't turn into a bawling mess, I did have a momentary over-abunance of tear production. In that moment, the massiveness of what I've done these past few months hit me.

 

I finished the "Harmonic Wealth" book and have moved into another of James Arthur Ray's books. But there was something in Harmonic Wealth in the part about what he calls the Spiritual Pillar (basically the spiritual area of one's life) that went along these lines: If you truly understood who always stands beside you, you would would never worry or be afraid. That thought has been stuck in my head for the last week or so. Since it's not a bad thought to be having, I have let it hang out.

 

On top of all that, Thursday I got a call from one of the production guys at the radio station. One of my regular clients through there had a commercial for me to voice, so there was another $70 outta nowhere.

 

I remember back in 1993/94ish....when I first started going to a Religious Science church...they had a series of classes on Prosperity. And part of the class was all the participants agreed to do a treatment (prayer) every day for both their own prosperity and the prosperity of the other members of the group. That is when it was demonstrated to me and when I first learned how easy it is to create money in one's life. I wish I still had a copy of that prosperity treatment we used in that class. I thought I had one tucked away in a journal, but if I do, I can't find it. I have replaced it with another similar one, but the sentimentalist in me would've liked to have used the old one.

 

I had gotten out of touch with consciously creating wealth. Things were comfortable and I didn't really have any challenges in that area....until last April. These past few weeks have been a demonstration that I can still do it (even if I don't have that prosperity treatment from back in the day) and a reminder of the awesome power we all have to co-create our reality with Divine Mind.

 

I am in my right and perfect employment.

I am surrounded by and enjoying abundance in all areas of my life.

I am financially independent and free.

 

And so it is.

[shes2smart]

What's The Frequency, Kenneth?

 

The quality of our thoughts create the quality of our life. If we want to see better results, we first have to start thinking better -- higher frequency -- thoughts to draw those things to us. Conscious mind --> unconscious mind --> moving into action --> manifestation of results.

 

More things the James Arthur Ray books are reminding of. Not new concepts to me, I've heard them from many different sources over the last two decades. It's not so much a matter of learning them now, as being reminded of them and gaining a deeper understanding of them.

 

One of the consequences of changing our frequency is the people and things that our currently in our life may not be on our new frequency....and they may never tune in to our new frequency. To be around them may, in fact, require us to lower our frequency to their level.

 

A snippet of my day yesterday:

 

Guy I Know: So, are you excited about next week?

Me: ....um.......(desperately trying to remember what "next week" is.....)well....um....

GIK: The X-pac is out next week!

Me: Oh...I was wondering what you were talking about

GIK: Well, DUH, Lich King -- Warcraft is the real world....

 

Yes, the Wrath of the Lich King expansion pack is out next week. New content, new level cap, new territory, new raids.... I've mostly tuned out the in-game and in-person chatter about it, but yesterday, it was shown to me the level of excitement/anticipation the rest of these people have about it.....and the utter lack of caring I have about it.

 

My focus, my time, my energy have been honed in on freelance VO stuff and setting goals for that and how to go about realizing those goals sooner rather than later. Inspired by the James Arthur Ray books, I have had 4 or 5 weeks of leaps forward on this path. I mean, in just the past two weeks alone I created almost $500 worth of projects to work on.

 

There have also been some smaller, subtler shifts in my thinking and attitude toward my job(s), toward my future, and so forth. I like to look at these as adjustments to the average frequency of the thoughts I broadcast. Since making these changes, I also notice a corresponding lack of enthusiasm for the Warcrack. And a feeling of being really out-of-step with these folks I've been virtual and real life hanging around based on game participation. I suppose this really wouldn't be all that big a deal except I happen to be married to one of those people.

 

They're all excitedly figuring out and discussing their plans for leveling as quickly as possible and one thing and another, and I'm kinda thinkin', "Well, I'd kinda like to work on some real life accomplishments right now." But I don't say it out loud. Because I don't want a fight. Because I am not going to have another argument about this. I refuse to do so.

 

The bottom line is I cannot dictate how anyone else (including my spouse) should be spending the their time and how they should be channeling their energy. I can only choose how to spend my own time and where to direct my own energy. More often than not these days, I find I'm choosing to spend it on real life quests and real life accomplishments and changing the frequency of the thoughts that are broadcasting out of my brain and into the universe.

 

Perhaps this will change at some point. This is another reason I don't bother talking about how much I don't care about the X-pac. Because I'm sure there will still be times when I will need a break and need a distraction. Because, really, these people have done no harm to me...there's not much point in making some big dramatic judgemental scene because I think some of them may have a little addiction problem.

 

When all else fails, I remember my ex-college bf's observation, "Well, there are worse things they/he could be doing/could be addicted to." And it strikes me as some rather lame rationalization, but it does have some truth to it.

 

What's under my control? What isn't?

 

Your focus needs to remain on your own path, your own goals, the way you spend your own time....anything outside of that is really none of your concern. It may even be looked at as a distraction from what it is you need to be doing right now.

 

Eyes on the prize, baby girl. You know the life you want to create for yourself, keep focused on it and don't get lured off point by what anyone else is doing.

[shes2smart]

I Has A Website

 

After this a few weeks back:

 

 

I got off my butt and I now have a website. That was my goal for this week -- to get my website up and running, and it is. Finished up the last pages this morning. There will probably be some fine-tuning, but it has written content, working links, audio files and my contact information, so it's functional.

 

I changed my do-it-yourself business cards to include my website & corresponding email address instead of my voice123 page and home isp address. I suppose the next thing to do is email all the people I've sent e-demos to the last month or so and let them know I have a website now. I'm going to have a few friends review it first...see if there's any typos and what not before I send it out to the masses.

 

Overall, though, I'm pleased with it. It's simple, but slick. And while the content isn't like other VO people's websites, it is definitely me. If someone doesn't like the style/presentation of the written stuff on my site, they're probably not going to like working with me much anyway. So, I'll think of it as a way to pre-screen potential clients. Because the fact of the matter is no one can work with everybody.

 

On the whole, I'm pleased with my progress on this...especially in the last 4-6 weeks. The phone system project I did went live on that company's phone system over the weekend. I emailed the company's number to a bunch of friends & business associates with this note: "Call , Listen. You don't have to listen to the whole thing. But do you know what that is? That's the sound of the first freelance gig I did at home that I didn't have to go looking for. They found me." I'm such a geek.

[shes2smart]

More Work

 

Got another gig off voice123. Small one, but could be more down the road. I'm writing and voicing this company's automated phone system. They've been using the default system greetings, but decided they needed custom, professionally voiced greetings to sound "bigger."

 

I'm not sure why they need someone to write their scripts...I mean, that sort of thing practically writes itself. But, hey, it means I can charge extra, so I'm not complaining.

 

I auditioned for this one...along with 40-some other people, and I got it.

 

This all came down Sunday. Which makes the mini-freak-out I had Saturday night rather laughable. The usual stuff about money and "what the heck are you doing?!?!" I hadn't had those kinds of thoughts for a few weeks, and they kinda took me by surprise. I had paid all the not-house-payment bills earlier in the day, so I guess it's not really all that shocking those thoughts started swirling around my head.

 

But that is not my reality. That is fear and someone else's voice talking, and I am choosing to ignore them because they are not my reality. My reality is going to check my email or answer my phone and hearing from people who listened to a demo and want to pay me to voice stuff. My reality is recieving scripts (not written by me or written by me and being returned with client approval) in my email, recording them in my tiny booth, sending them off, and then getting paid for the work. My reality is generating enough income from this to live well and live comfortably.

 

So, instead of paying the bills being traumatic, how about you look at it as a demonstration of how you have generated enough income to cover them...and you will continue to do so. Because that's what it is, you know. There was enough there...more than enough...because you are living in a truly abundant world.

[shes2smart]

More Proof It's Not My Reality

 

So I send off the phone system scripts I've been working on and I get incoming email from voice123.

 

It was from someone else I sent in an audition for offering to hire me to voice a radio spot for a restaurant.

 

The restaurant is in Thailand.

 

Holy jinkies...I'm International.

[shes2smart]

A Little Closer To Home

 

So, I get home from work last night, check my email and nearly choke on my drink.

 

There was an email from an owner of a local company who got my demo in an email singing my praises from bathrobe guy. . They're asking me to audition for a long term project they're starting. It's a paid audition and if the client likes me, it turns into the long-term gig. So, I make a little money tomorrow and potentially more later.

 

Funny part #1: I sent this company a demo prior to meeting bathrobe guy and I got a rejection letter.

 

Funny part #2: The rejection letter was from the same person who contacted me yesterday.

 

Funny part #3: Bathrobe guy sent them the same demo I sent them.

 

Welcome to Bizarro World.

[shes2smart]

Yup. This is IT.

 

My morning thus far:

 

>Set up meeting for paid audition/possible long term gig with company bathrobe guy set me up with.

 

>re-cut Thailand restaurant spot to correct pronunciation

 

>cut narration demo for website

 

>get email from previous client with scripts for another location's phone system

 

Yesterday, I deposited 2 checks for freelance work that I'd gotten in the mail earlier this week.

 

Yup. This is IT.

[shes2smart]

That Giddy Feeling

 

When I left my audition yesterday, my feet were not on the ground. I got back in my car and let the "overwhelmed" rush over me like gulping down a highly intoxicating beverage.

 

First off, the company was in an absolutely drop-dead-gorgeous facility. Major money. Second, I had a really good feeling about the woman (one of the company's owners) who invited me to come in for this. Third, it sounded to me like she already had some other stuff in mind for me to do for them....even if the client didn't choose me for the thing I went to audition for.

 

The stuff her part of the business works on is educational materials -- audio textbooks, interactive educational DVDs, web content and things of that nature. I go into a small booth and there's an audio engineer who sits in an adjoining studio who directs and records me reading the copy. The audio engineer was a very low-key, encouraging guy who I was comfortable working with. When we were done recording, he was asking me what times I'd be available for sessions -- as if he knew I was going to be doing more stuff for them.

 

I have a good feeling about this. And on some level, I gotta think recording textbook audio is probably more important (in a lasting kind of way) than making smart ass remarks on the radio.

 

It amazes me the kind of response I've been getting and my own reactions to sending out demos and looking for freelance stuff as opposed to sending out resumes and looking for a "job." I mean, in essense, both are the essentially the same thing -- you send out some sample of your work (an audio demo, a resume) to someone in an effort to convince them to pay you to do a job. I found looking for a job was difficult and demoralizing. That's not been the case with freelance projects. Maybe it would be different if I hadn't gotten anything at all in the last 2 months (about the length of time my studio's been operational)...but I have gotten stuff that I've worked on at home and stuff that I've gone to the client's facility to record.

 

I am good at this. I know that. I've known that for a good chunk of my adult life. What I'm starting to figure out based on how (relatively) easy it's been to start making money doing this and other people's reactions to what I do is just how good I am at it. All those years working in radio and being overlooked, devalued and treated like crap because that's how a lot of radio management tends to treat talent and because I worked with some folks who had ego enough for half a dozen of me and thereforee overshadowed me....it never really dawned on me that I'm naturally really, really good at reading copy. With some coaching and direction, I can be even better.

 

When he walked me back up to the lobby yesterday, the audio engineer I worked with said some very complimentary things about what I had just read. He didn't have to. There was really no need or reason for him to say what he said. And I remember the stuff bathrobe guy was saying to me the day I went to meet him. It included the line, "You really have no idea how good you are at this, do you?"

 

Y'know...maybe I didn't...but I'm starting to figure it out.

[shes2smart]

More Aha! Moments

 

...or road signs that I'm going the right way.

 

I was poking around the subscriber boards at voice123 a few days ago and saw a post from someone who chose to make a somewhat Big Deal about not renewing their subscription. This person went on to say that they'd been on the site for a year and not been hired for a single thing and a lot of other passive-aggressive/martyr-ish comments about the site, the way it's run, the VO business and related things.

 

I've been on voice 123 about 2 months and gotten 2 IVR (voice-on-hold) projects (one on-going for several locations, one that I've already completed and been paid for), the restaurant in Thailand, and the one I got offered yesterday. Yesterday's project offer is the open and close audio for a bank's TV commercial. So current total on these gigs is a bit over $450. So I was really curious as to what "I'm not renewing my subscription" person had been doing different. I clicked on their profile and played their demo. My husband (who was on the other side of the room) said, "Stop that. Now."

 

I listened to their demo. And it dawned on me that I have been doing this (and getting paid for doing it) for 25 years....and it shows. It's not just a matter of someone saying, "Oh, that girl you have answering the telephone sounds really sexy," while I'm doing my day job. I've had multiple people seek me out and pay me to read their stuff. That's not the case for everyone on the site.

 

There are also folks on there who've had just as much experience as me (and more in some areas of VO work) and sound just as good....but I'm starting to realize that does not describe the majority of the folks on that site, really. Which is fine for me. I'd rather have my auditions going up against people who are less experienced/less qualified than going up against someone who makes me look like Amateur Night at the corner bar, y'know?

 

The other thing about the "I'm Not Renewing My Subscription" person: In the course of a year, they'd submitted fewer project auditions than I have in 7 weeks. I'd read somewhere that some full time, long time VO folks use the following rule of thumb: figure on 100 auditions for every 1 paying gig. Now, I personally think that's a bit high, but then again, they might be talking about the really high-paying gigs and not the $50 read here, $70 read there kind of stuff I'm seeing as my mainstays for the initial parts of my journey.

 

The bank gig is paying $60. The read is 20 words/less than 10 seconds total audio. I'm ok with getting $60 for that.

[shes2smart]

What A Difference A Year Makes

 

Earlier, I was posting on a thread about marriage/getting married and I was relating the story of how I came to be married.

 

I hadn't really thought about it in a while, but as I was typing and then proof-reading, it hit me: In one calendar year (and a few extra days) I went from discovering my last bf cheating on me & subsequently breaking up with him to marrying my husband a year and a few days later. I mean, one year, I'm devastated and faced with a break-up and some 53 weeks later, I'm getting married to someone who was and is a better match for me than the cheater ever was.

 

Wild, huh?

 

It's amazing what time can do...even more amazing what time and conscious effort will do.

 

Today, I went in my studio and did about 5 minutes of work and sent off a 20 word/10 second piece of audio someone's paying me $60 to do....more than fair, I'd say. But the really interesting thought is -- what does it look like a year and a few days from now after continued efforts auditioning and working on it?

[shes2smart]

Because It's THAT Important....

 

Apparently getting an $800 TV is more important than life itself....as long as it's someone else's life... link removed

 

There is absolutely no excuse, no reason for something like that to happen. What is wrong with people? There are even a couple different levels of "what is wrong" here. First, the obvious one about the worker being killed. Second, what's wrong with people that they're waiting in line the day before to get in the store? I don't get it. What do you need a 52" TV for?

 

I don't get it. I don't get the "store opens at 4am the day after Thanksgiving" promotions. I don't get why you'd (voluntarily) set foot into a mall or shopping center that was that ridiculously crowded just to save a few bucks. It's so not worth the time/hassle. And then, to be so concerned about getting the "great deal" that you trample a store worker to death?! God forbid they prevent you from shopping by closing the store for a few hours to investigate what happened.

 

Yeah, hope you enjoy that 52" TV with the victim's blood on it.

[shes2smart]

And The Hits Just Keep On Coming.....

 

Another voice123 gig. This time TV audio for one of those med-spa kinds of places. And I got approval on the bank voiceover thing I did on Thanksgiving, so I billed them. And the textbook thing I auditioned for the week before Thanksgiving is paying three times what I was expecting. (I thought she said it was $50 for the audition session, which I would've been fine with, but then she sent me an email telling me to invoice her for $150...and said she'd be calling me to come in as soon as they have approved scripts for me to read. !!!)

 

Is it enough to live on and kiss my part time office job goodbye? No...not yet anyway. And I'm not sure I would kiss the regular (albeit small -- but regular) paycheck goodbye. Unless it got to the point that I was having to turn down freelance work because of having to go to a job. Even then, I might see if I could do 20 hours a week instead of 30 or something like that. Right now we have in our department two 30-hour-a-week part timers, a 20-25 hour a week part timer, and two 15-hour-a-week part timers. This is what they've chosen to replace what used to be 2 full time positions.

 

Eh, whatever. It suits my purposes now. Both in number of hours worked and the time of day those hours are worked. Bonuses aren't near what any of us were told during interviews...but are such things ever portrayed realistically? I don't think so. I don't really blame my boss. All he had to go on was what two full-timers who had very split duties brought in every month. Not what 5 part timers handling a little of everything could earn. And how was he supposed to know the economy was going to tank like it has? So, I don't (entirely) blame him for grossly overestimating potential average bonus amounts. I do think he could've been a little more conservative or just flat out said he wasn't sure because the department was being restructured. But a couple of the other part timers have voiced their disillusionment to me...one of them repeatedly. And all I can think is, "You really believed you were going to make THAT kind of bonus money working this few hours a week?" Quickly followed by another thought, "Oh, so you still put that much faith in what an employer tells you, huh?" At this point if I show up and the place is open and I can punch in and am allowed to stay for my entire shift and the check doesn't bounce when I get it, I feel pretty damn fortunate. After that, I can go home and check my email and see what other freelance gig I can either audition for or what other freelance gig someone decided to hire me for. While I'd welcome the kind of bonus amounts my boss told us all at interview time, I wasn't expecting/depending/relying on that being the reality. So, it's much easier for me to let it go and say, "It is what it is," than some of my co-workers.

 

In discussing this my husband makes the prediction that, at some point, they will offer me a full time job. And I am not sure I would want that. That means (at least) 10 hours more a week I will have to give them (for not markedly more pay). That means 10 hours less a week I will have to audition or market or do actual voiceover work. I mean, look at it this way, the 5-10 minutes I spent on that bank VO spot paid $60. I can make $60 in less than a half hour at home.....or I can go to the office gig and make the same amount there working 6 hours. So, I'm not sure that a full time job there is in my best interest in the long run. It'd be too easy to get comfortable & lazy (again) and not put in the effort on the voiceover stuff.

 

Fortunately, they haven't offered and, unlike my husband, I don't believe they will. I suspect they're finding out that it's cheaper for them to have a bunch of part timers in this department instead of full time staff. With the job market the way it is now, they'll have no shortage of over-qualified, good (potential) employees lined up for these positions when/if they come open, so why bother with the extra expenses associated with full time employees? Combine that with the fact that also due to the job market, those of us in these part-time positions are likely to hang on to them because there's precious few other options right now. Yeah, it doesn't make financial sense for them to pay more than they have to...and right now they don't have to pay much because there are more people looking for jobs than there are jobs to be had.

 

Things will change. They always do. Because change is the only constant. Things get bad, they get worse, they get better, they get good, and they go down hill and up hill again over and over in a cycle. That's the nature of things. We happen to be in a down cycle now and people are panicky and forgetting that this, too, shall pass. Life goes on. When things change enough that bring about the circumstances where companies HAVE to offer full time, benefits and decent pay to get good, stable, reliable workers, I want to be in one of 2 places: 1. Long gone from there because the freelance took off and I'm making huge amounts of money doing that and no longer need a job. or 2. Have gotten established enough with the freelance that working more hours at a job for someone else would equate to a pay cut and have to turn it down.

 

But for now, I still need to be there. And for now, I can still get giddy about these $50 and $60 and $70 a read jobs. Because that's where I am on this journey right now.

 

And it's right where I'm supposed to be right now.

[shes2smart]

12/3/03

 

I feel some acknowledgement must be made of this anniversary, but I'm not sure how to go about it.

 

5 years ago today was when I had my work-related nervous breakdown. Looking back, it was also the start of not trusting employers in general and the beginning of the end of the love affair I'd had with the radio business. Things that are still active in my life (even moreso now than ever)....they all bubbled up into conscious being 5 years ago today as I sat, sobbing and puking, in a broken heap on my bathroom floor.

 

This must be acknowledged somehow, but it's hardly something worth celebrating.

 

Had I been willing to allow another employer to have that much of me again, I might still be employed full time now. Remember? Remember that whole "be on both stations at the same time" crap they were asking me to do last January and February...and I tried it...and after a few weeks said, "No. Not going there again." Lo and behold, a few more weeks later and I've been cut from the budget. There are other folks who are still there who have been asked to take on more and more and more with no additional pay or additional compensation of any kind. They are all still there. I am not. So, despite the official story or what I'd be told if I asked, I have to believe that my refusal to let another employer try to work me to death was at the very least a factor in my being let go.

 

I've heard other people say this...in the aftermath of involuntarily leaving a job that seemed to have a level of prestige, decent money, decent benefits...I've heard them say it when that is all gone and they're getting by on less...They say, "I don't have all that anymore...but I'm a hell of a lot happier than when I was there and had all that." And I could never understand that -- how they could believe that, how that could be true. I figured they were just deluding themselves and they secretly missed it all and were just putting on a front. I never understood that....until now. When I find myself here....on this not-so-happy anniversary....saying, "I don't have all that anymore...but I'm a hell of a lot happer than when I was there and had all that."

[shes2smart]

Will The Last On-Air Person Turn Off The Lights On The Way Out?

 

Went to the station to cut a spot for one of my regular clients. Got to talking to the production guy and apparently, there's whispers of even more job cuts after the first of the year. We talked about some of the things I was writing about yesterday. He agreed with my gut feeling that part of the reason I was asked to leave had to do with my taking a stand and not allowing the company to walk all over me.

 

We talked about someone who IS letting the company walk all over him...and who is in a place I could've very easily been in, had I allowed it -- on the air on 2 stations, doing music logs, production, personnel scheduling and blah, blah, blah. He's gone from being a relatively happy, easy going person to an often pissed-off, irritated, annoyed person. Because he'll take their crap...and take on whatever they ask, no matter what kind of impact it has on him or his life.

 

I said no. I said I won't give that much of myself to a company that, ultimately, won't appreciate it and will just keep asking for more, more, more ever again. And I got shown the door because "no" wasn't an acceptable answer. It seems so clear to me now -- no matter how much you love the work, why stay in a place where you are treated with so little respect and where they won't be happy until they've broken you?

 

I remember many years ago...when I still loved it...and I'd talk to non-radio people or my therapist about things at work. They'd look at me all shocked and ask why was I putting up with . They'd tell me that what my employer-at-the-time was asking was ridiculous. And I'd just say they didn't understand radio...that's just the way it was in radio. But now I see where I was the one who didn't understand. I didn't understand that they were correct to be shocked, correct to be appalled by employers who asked so much from their staff and gave so little in return in both the level of respect and level of compensation.

 

The whispers around the building are more cuts are coming...and that things are going to get tough (oh, really? If they're "going to get" tough....what the hell have they been thus far?). Fear and paranoia is running rampant.

 

But it's running right by me. They already booted me out, and I'm doing alright anyway. I truly have nothing to fear.

[shes2smart]

Something I Never Thought I'd Say

 

Oh, and I may not actually get to say it. I won't know for a while, probably. There was a gig I auditioned for at voice123 this week. It was another IVR/On-hold phone gig for an office. I cut an audition and went back to check if the audition had been opened by the voice seeker. Now, when the voice seeker listens to an audition, they have the option to rate the audition on a scale of "not likely" to "likely hiring" and you can see how they rated your audition in relation to the others they rated.

 

So, I went back to check on this one particular IVR audition and they had placed me as 1st/likely hiring out of the people who had auditioned. It wasn't a tie, I was in 1st by myself. If you got the same rating as other folks auditioning, the rating system will tell you...something like "you were rated 2nd out of 40 auditions, and 15 other talent got the same rating." But, no I got 1st/Likely Hiring by myself. It's not an official "I got the gig" hire until the voice seeker contacts the talent directly and negotiates what they need done and how much you'll charge for the job.

 

So, I haven't been contacted yet...but if they do, and I actually do the voiceover for their phone system, I will be able to say something I thought I'd never say: I did work for the porn industry. The gig is the voice on hold for an adult film company's office phone system....and they're offering about twice the pay that similar size phone system jobs for non-porn companies have paid me. And just because of the nature of the business, this is one IVR job I will not be able to tell everyone I know that I did.

 

But those I'd be able to tell will certainly get a chuckle out of it. Heck, I was laughing when I saw my audition had been rated 1st/Likely Hiring. "Woot! The porn industry thinks I'm good enough!" Cracks me up. I developed the voice I used on their audition doing spots for several "Gentlemen's Clubs" that used to air on the rock station at the employer from hell. The production guy back there used to find me and say, "I need you to do the 900 line voice a for spot when you're done with your show."

 

So, I was thinking about this...like, what other voiceover opportunities would there be with an adult film company? Becuase, clearly, these folks are willing to pony up some decent dough for me to talk in the 900 line voice. Both my husband and I were laughing our butts off as we discussed this last night. I'm like, "Hey, if they go ahead and hire me, you can say your wife did work for the porn industry!" and he says, "Is it wrong that being able to say that would amuse me?"

 

We're weird.

[shes2smart]

"This Is The Porn Industry Calling.....

 

...we'd like to hire you to voice our office phone system."

 

 

!!!!

[shes2smart]

Troof

 

link removed

 

Word.

[shes2smart]

They What?????

 

They CLOSED! My freakin' gym CLOSED! With no warning, no indication anything was up. Representatives from other gyms in the area were circling, like vultures, as the members of the now-closed gym stood, staring at the locked, empty and dark building.

 

I am not going to find anything near the price we were paying here. We had already finished our contract a couple years ago and were on a greatly reduced month-to-month rate. Working out a home is great in theory, but I know I won't do it. Too many other things to distract me from it. I'm not exactly in a position right now to fork out a couple hundred dollars. At the same time, though, I need to do something because not exercising is not an option.

 

In other news, the porn guy who hired me for the phone system is also chomping at the bit to pay me for my work -- he asked for an invoice before I had even completed the project. I noticed this with the other adult oriented businesses I voiced spots for in the past. If they were charged a separate talent fee, I always got paid real quick. Quicker than a lot of non-adult business clients. This is another reason I don't mind doing adult-oriented voicework....my experiences with those types of clients has been good. If many had been slow-pay or no-pay, I might be hesitant to do work for other adult oriented businesses....but not a single one of them has.

 

Good Lord, between Christmas, the Gym Crisis, and needing new tires, this month is getting very expensive.

[shes2smart]

From Porn To Children's Audio Books

 

Today's email brought an offer to hire to read portions of a children's audio book. Oh, excuse me, a Christian-based children's audio book.

 

Wild, eh?

[shes2smart]

He Almost Made It

 

He was on the game a lot when I first met him. He was one of the raid leaders. He had several different toons. People liked him. He was active on the guild message board.

 

Shortly after he and his wife (a non-player) had a baby (their first) he bid us all farewell. Said what with the new baby, there just wasn't time for a job and family and the game. A couple months later, he posted on the guild board that life was good. He hadn't realized how much of his time the game was taking up. He spoke of having more time with his wife and their child and having some real-life accomplishments. He said he couldn't see coming back.

 

A few weeks ago, shortly after the expansion came out, I saw him pop online. I saw them welcome him back. I see him on all the time (again) now, leveling his various toons and talking about going the big group raids when we start up again.

 

I thought for sure he'd made it out. But he hasn't.

 

There was another one, a younger guy, who left. Said it was really starting to dawn on him...how much time he'd spent on this and other games the last 5-6 years...and how much he might've done with that time. He left. They wished him well. A few short weeks later, he was back. Supposedly "until school starts in January," but I'm not holding my breath. He, too, is leveling multiple toons and talking of/instigating large group runs. He was talked into coming back by someone he'd been gaming with for the last few years.

 

I wasn't surprised to see him back.

 

But the first one...I was not only surprised to see him return, it also makes me sad, too. I want to ask him, "What happened to all those revelations you had about spending time with your wife and child and real life accomplishments? Why are you living online again?" But I don't know him well enough to ask those kinds of questions. And, I'm not sure I want to know the answers, anyway.

 

When one of them leaves, we wish them well. When the leaver is out of earshot, the long-timers say, "S/he'll be back. They always come back." On some level, I find that frightening. For some reason, though, in these early morning hours today, I find the fact that the first guy is back in the game really sad. He almost made it out. Why'd he go and throw that away?

 

Sigh.

 

We are supposed to go gym-shopping today. I'm pretty much dreading it, but I know it has to be done. Not working out is not an option. It is early, and this will come out sounding not quite like I want it to sound, so the raw, unedited version is this - I was paying $30 a month for both of us to have gym access, but I was really the only one who used it. Now I'm going to have to pay more just so both of us can have access, but I don't forsee him using it any more than he does now. But if I suggest that maybe I just get an individual membership, there'll be an issue.

 

I'm also not looking forward to the sell job. One place in particular is going to be interesting just based on the phone coversation I had with them. We will get to find out how well they listen. I detest being sold to and pushed. I hate going into a place and saying, "I want this" and having a sales person essentially go, "that's nice, but you really want THIS" when I don't.

 

What I want from a gym: ellipticals and weight machines and a little floor space to do yoga. Beyond that as long as it's clean, not over-crowded and open at reasonable times, I'm good.

 

What I don't want from a gym: child care, pool/sauna/whirlpool/steam room, group classes, personal training, nutritional supplements, weight & nutrition counseling, spa services, and being sold all that crap.

 

But the odds that they will try and sell me all the crap I don't want anyway are pretty high. That's why I am dreading going. But, much like yardwork and housework....it has to be done.

[shes2smart]

The New Gym

 

We went gym-shopping Sunday (shudder). Of the gyms we visited, one really stood out from the the rest because of one thing: They didn't try to sell to us. Oh, the guy there was friendly and nice enough, but he didn't sit us down and talk to us about our "Fitness Goals" and tell us about all the features and amenities (tanning booth?!) they had. It was basically, "Oh, sure, have a look around. If you have any questions, just ask. Here's what our memberships cost."

 

One place we saw just set me on edge. He did an interview with us about our "Fitness Goals" and I specifically stated I hated group exercise classes, I'd tried a bunch of different ones and didn't like any class except for yoga...but the kind of yoga most gyms have are not the head-spacey kind I like. My husband also stated a lack of interest in group exercise classes. Then the sales rep proceeded to give us details on ALL the classes they offered...... Um....did you not hear a word of what either of us just said?

 

It also seemed like there was a lot of potential for things to get wonky for me there. He was pushing the fact that they monitor you so you can see your progress. That means regular weigh-ins, measurements and so on. The last thing I need is a return to the Food Nazis and Fitness Police. Had I been feeling more ornery, I would've given the guy more information than he ever wanted about My Eating Disorder And Why I Need To Stay Away From That Sort Of Thing.

 

But my main concern was getting out of there as quickly as possible, really. So, I repeated that while all that was nice, I was really in need of something much more basic. I don't need your fitness classes. I don't need the information about how many calories each class burns. I don't need a Personal Trainer. I don't need a regular weigh-in/measurement session. I don't need a tanning booth. I don't need a pool. I don't need nutritional counseling -- I already have my own Registered Dietician. I don't need the on-site chiropractor -- I already have one I like just fine. I don't need a basketball court or child care or a spinning room or dance classes or discounts for referring family and friends or guest privileges or a full schedule of group classes. If I get a membership here, I will be paying for all that and NEVER using any of it. I have been a member of a gym with some of those amenties for the last 4.5 years, and I NEVER used any of them there, either. These are not selling points to me...they're things I will end up subsidizing and never getting any use out of. Which essentially makes them Reasons I Should Not Spend My Money Here.

 

The gym we wound up joining would appear to be a place where people who WANT to work out and who don't need a lot of external motivation to do so go. People who make that conscious choice on a day to day basis to take care of their bodies by engaging in physical activity and don't need to be coaxed into doing it by dressing it up in classes or making appointments with a trainer or watching TV while they do it. Come to think of it, I don't think there are any TVs at the new gym...and that is fine with me. Kinda sums up the difference between the two places. One is for people who want to be distracted/entertained while they are being forced to exercise...the other is for people who choose to exercise because they're taking care of themselves and don't need the distraction/entertainment/hand-holding.

 

I want to be in the second category....not the first.

 

Now I just need to get the Gym-As-An-Event place to stop calling me....

[shes2smart]

She's Having Surgery

 

A gastric bypass, to be specific. She is a large gal. I mean, they still have some sort of standard of "bigness" before they'll do that procedure on you....don't they? They haven't gotten to the point where they'll cut you open and mutilate your guts if you're just a little chunky, have they?

 

My husband (who has seen first-hand the pre-, during, and post- phases of this surgery) estimated her weight at pushing 350 pounds. Me, I can't tell. I just know she's a big gal...and she's bigger now than when we first met her 3-4 years ago. When I told him she was going to have a gastric bypass, he said, "She's going to have to make some dramatic changes in her eating habits afterwards." We have seen her and her SO (a very large guy) socially quite a bit in these past few years. The quantity and variety of food I have seen them put away at one meal fascinates me. I wonder to myself, "How can you eat that much and still be comfortable?"

 

For whatever reasons, she's opted to have the surgery. And I wonder if she really comprends what kind of changes that means. Have they told her that some people who have that surgery end up being malnourished? Have they told her what people's lives are like 5 and 10 years post-surgery? Does she fully comprehend that she will not be able to eat the amount and type of food she's used to eating anymore...ever again (without getting violently ill)? Does she completely understand any of that or have they sold her on the "benefits" of the procedure?

 

She is a nice person. Both she and her SO have been nothing but kind and helpful to us since we met them. But I can't help but wonder if she realizes what she's getting into. Perhaps she does and the benefits are greater to her than the risks and downsides of the procedure. Perhaps she is one of the people for whom the procedure is a medical necessity (a "have this done or start planning your funeral because you won't be around in 6-12 months" situation). But I see it through the filter of my own rife-with-food-and-wieght-issues background, my bias against this type of procedure and my own bias against "medical marketing" and the combination of those things.

 

Still, it's another situation where I don't have a close enough relationship with her to do some hard, "have you done your research" questioning without coming off as being rude, insensitive and (at best) very nosy. For her sake, I hope her expectations are realistic...and that she is in a state of mind where she is truly ready to make the changes she will need to make post-surgery. Her environment is not likely to change to fit her new reality. (translation: I doubt her SO is going to make lasting, drastic changes to his own eating habits to accommodate her new reality.) Oh, he may start off with the best intentions, but since he won't have the physical restrictions of a post-gastric-bypass-surgery digestive system......

 

Ultimately, though, it's not my life. I'm just on the periphery observing someone else's choices. Choices that she, no doubt, believes are the best course of action for her at this point in her life. I freely admit I do not know all the facts and I may be wrong in my opinions.

 

For her sake, I hope that is the case.

[shes2smart]

Day One At The New Gym

 

The new gym is not a place my "friends" Esmeralda & Grizelda would go to do their version of working out.

 

All the better for me.

[shes2smart]

A Good Question

 

 

 

Up to the S song titles on my ipod. This popped up last night. It struck me as relevant in some way.

[shes2smart]

'Tis The Season

 

What I really want for Christmas....