codename Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 my girlfriend exclusively dated african-american men before she met me. i have had to deal with all the myths perpetuated by society when it comes to black sexuality in my own mind. i have a very diverse lifestyle and have friends from all walks of life but this topic never comes up in discussion so i would rather ask here. my girl has always insisted that there is nothing wrong with me, she wouldn't be with me if she didn't love me etc. but i can't help but think i'm kind of a fluke and she does in fact have a type. the other night the family guy show is on and there is a joke running about this couple in the bedroom acting out fantasies and role-playing and the character on the show is talking about all these silly things in regards to fantasy and then just says: "ok then i'll be the black guy." my girl laughed at this and it left me feeling kind of uncertain as to where she really stands on the issue. anyone have any insight? Link to comment
Alpha J Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Dont be paranoid. She is with you for a reason. Just roll with it and continue to love her. If she has a "type" and you love and cherish her, then you can prove to her that her "type" is you and not based on the color of someone's skin Link to comment
eleanorrigby1 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Everyone has a 'type' when they talk of their fantasies but in reality and with women in particular a 'type' is usually based on personality criteria, like "my type is funny and sweet and generous" or "my type is a bit of a rebel.." you see? The three major loves in my life were nothing like each other, one was 6 foot 4 with jet black hair and blue eyes and built like a brick sh*thouse, the second was small and skinny with brown hair and brown eyes and my current boyfriend who I adore is tall with bright ginger hair and freckles. He is my type in relation to his personality. Hoever, I have heard off everyone on his side of the family that they knew what I would look like before they met me because I am typically "his type" a in short, brunette and curvy! lol! Link to comment
chai714 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Don't let your insecurities cause conflict in this relationship when there are none. She thought that joke was funny, just as I am laughing about it too. *We choose to be with the people we're with because of how they make us feel. You obviously did a good enough job to get her to want to be your woman. In other words, you make her feel good about herself which is why she is with you. In short, you'll have to forget about her past (because you can't change it) and focus on the present (she's with you, not one of her exes). Link to comment
brando Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 In short Chai, this was another great pun on words... lol Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 codename, if you refer to turner brown style jokes, forget about them. In real life, there is always some guy more handsome, richer, smarter, with a nicer car and a smaller mobile phone than you - or me or arnie for that matter. Your woman is with you, be positive, love, respect and care her, you will be fine. Hardware is not important, attitude is. Link to comment
codename Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 oh it's not so much about hardware. i know i'm ok in that dept, but there is always that...ok why was she with a certain type exclusively. it just forces me to think that her laugh revealed a truth, or allowed something to show through. you know what freud says about humor. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I dont think anyone can tell you give you a satisfactory answer as to why your gf has chosen to be with you. She has an interest in you and thats all you have to go on. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I dont think anyone can tell you give you a satisfactory answer as to why your gf has chosen to be with you. She has an interest in you and thats all you have to go on. Concur, and the best way is to find out is communicating. Ever staid in bed all weekend, talk, make love, nap, snack - around the clock. You'll be amazed what you find out about each other. P.S. Sunday evening sleeping early recommended Link to comment
babypink61 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 codename, I don't think you have anything to worry about I'm Asian and I've always dated strictly Asian men until I met my current bf (who's white). I always thought that Asian men are the only type of men I'd be attracted and I never thought I'd be going out with anybody outside of my own race. Well my bf totally changed that! He's probably the best guy I've been with and he made me realize that I'm not just attracted to a certain "race", but rather just a certain type of men . . . I'm just attracted to nice and shy guys in general! lol Like everyone else said, she must be with you because she's attracted to you in someway, and not the color of your skin! Link to comment
Momene Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 I have to admit that my wife is physically close to what my ideal "type" is but it is possible to be attracted to someone outside your type and stay faithful to them. Who you've dated in the past is as much due to geography. I've met what you might call African-English who have only dated white guys because they were the predominant race in the part of England they grew up in. I've married outside my own race twice because I've been in the right place at the right time. Link to comment
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