My heart LITERALLy HURTS

[toughtime]

I dont know about you all...but I get that feeling in the morning..when it just hurts. It might sound silly but my heart literally hurts, aches, and feels pain.

 

My bf and I broke up recently (within the last week).

 

Our relationship ended primarily due to cirumstance..he is moving somewhere..i am going somewhere else..he is older and wants certain things soon..etc.

 

Our actual relationship did not have many problems itself. we never fought and he treated me like a princess. with respect, care, concern. he is a sincere and genuine man.

 

i think that is why it hurts even more. if he had been bad to me then i could say that i need to move on to find someone better. but i dont believe i can get better than him. i am scared i wont find someone that will take as good care of me as he did.

 

but the feelings i am going through these days is just ridiculous. for the most part i am strong but then i just break. i have not cried as much..it is just that i cant get it out of my mind. i keep on thinking about it. I wonder if he is thinking of me or if he has moved on mentally..

 

when does it get better? how does it get better?

 

I feel alone..i want to see him. i miss him.

[blemished]

My heart hurts in the morning, too. I think I am slowly going crazy.... We broke up almost 2 months ago, and I thought I was getting better, but time seems to stand still.

[renaissancewoman101]

Healing from a breakup takes time. The first few months of a breakup are the hardest because you think about the other person a lot, cry about the breakup, etc. With time, it helps. It also helps to go out and hang out with your friends, catch up on your life, develop new hobbies, revisit old ones, and NOT contact your ex in any way, shape, or form. This is a great time to practice NC (No Contact) for that will help you to heal from this and move on.

[Relationship Coach]

There is a long and bumpy road ahead of you and you need to find the strength to move on. NC is a must and you need to realize that even when relationships end on good terms, there is a healing period. You will find love once again, give yourself some time and let the experience of this relationship help you grow. For the most part, we all have felt your pain and there is something better down that road.

 

RC

[Lady Godiva]

I'm sorry for your pain. It helps to keep yourself really busy if you can. Also, try to do some deep breathing to ease the pain/tension in your body and trying to remember times before him in which you were happy. You will be happy again in love.

 

God Bless

[teacup]

yeah, i remember that, waking up and my heart would literally, physically ache. i know what it feels like! i thought i was the only one! it kind of felt like something was squeezing my heart and wouldn't let go. that's how painful it was. *sob*

[Empathy]

I know exactly what you mean. There were times when I was actually afraid that my heart would stop.

[furakura]

I can totally relate to how you feel. In the first month after my breakup, i would wake up feeling like there's a hole in my heart and feel so absolutely alone but it will get better over time. I am still feeling alone and abandoned three months on, though i have learned to accept that life have to go on even without him. You can do it too!

[Rainz]

I know that feeling so well. Don't feel like you're the only one.

 

I wish I could say something more upbeat and posivitve. Like you my ex was a kind, caring , nice rare of a kind type man. Not cold, callous and heartless and I agree that makes it all the more hurtful and harder to let go and move on.

 

I'm day 12 today of NC and it's a struggle is all I can say, and this after having 2 months NC/LC, moreso LC.

[eleanorrigby1]

Oh I felt like I was going insane when I went through a bad breakup. Out of the blue my boyfriend who I was totally inlove with said he was sorry but he didnt love me, he had tried but couldnt, bye. a day later he had a new girlfriend, which led me to believe he was seeing her before he broke up with me, so he cheated on me too!

 

I couldnt keep my food down, I threw up after almost every meal for a long time. people thought i was bullemic! I just felt so ill so physically ill, I couldnt sleep properly, walking was an effort, breathing felt painful. I couldnt see the joy in anything.

 

It took a long time to heal, I wont lie to you, but I got there eventually. A song would come on the radio and I would cry, or smell his aftershave on someone in the street and my legs would buckle. I thought i would never find someone as good or as perfect for me as him! sounds ridiculous now.

 

that was 2.5 years ago, I have been with my current boyfriend for 7 months and i honestly couldnt imagine loving anyone else more. I also think he is perfect for me and I worry that if I lost him, how would anyone else be good enough. but then I remind myself, that I have been there once before, and I did.

 

And you will believe me. But at the moment just contentrate on you, see your friends, look after your health. Get plenty of rest. good luck

[RayKay]

There is a reason they call it heartache/heartbreak

 

Just as when you are madly in love and happy, you feel it 'in your heart' the same occurs when you are down and in pain too.

 

When my late boyfriend died, my heart felt like it shattered onto the floor of the hospital. I thought it was just going to stop at any moment for several weeks. All I could eat was tea & smoothies, and I had absolutely no desire to do anything. I forced myself to go for my workouts and to talk to friends, and to go to work, but I felt absolutely lost.

 

But it didn't stay that way, and it did not stop beating. It healed, like a flesh wound does over time and with proper care.

 

Time really is a wonderful healer. You probably don't see it now, but it does.

[temujin]

yeah.. I was in the exact same situation before....

 

It still hurts .. 5month later...

 

but really

 

I was puking every single thing I ate for the first 2 months, I fainted due to lack of sleep while going to work, I was dragged to the psychiatrist for anti depressants so that I can maintain some form of normality to get thru the final two months in my job after I submitted the resignation letter (yes i have to quit).

 

Everything is better.. maybe not 100% but I think less and everytime it comes to me, I think I have convinced myself that I will never allow her to come near me again knowing her true colors.

[toughtime]

Thank you all for your responses...It really does help to know that others are on the same boat and have felt the same way.

 

Like I wrote before, I have no complaints about my ex. After the breakup though I tried to find flaws in him..but I just dont have any. It is very unfort. that we have to break up without having actual relationship problems. Our issues were all due to him and I having to lead separate lives in the near future. We did not have enough time (5 months) to develop a strong love but the love that we did have means a lot to me.

 

Last night I woke up numerous times and would remember the reality--that we are broken up..and again..it hurts inside.

 

You all are right..it does get easier with time...

 

I just want to be "me" again though. I am in general a VERY happy and outgoing girl. But whenever I have issues with people that I love (friends, family, bf) then I am very sensitive and I feel really hurt inside.

 

Deep breathing does help to get rid of some of that heart pain. Also just getting out helps..but I am still in that "mopey" kind of mode.

[toughtime]

I just cant get over the fact that we are broken up. I know I just wrote "fact" but in my head it still seems like fiction. I mean only a few weeks ago we were planning a trip...today we were supposed to go to a wedding together..

 

He went alone...and I am here..

 

I want to change what happened..change our circumstances.

[permasmile]

Accepting that you are "over" is a big step that you must take. The fact he is moving is most likely a good thing. It is hard being in the city constantly wondering if you are going to run into the ex. Try to push away thoughts of the two of you getting back together and work towards improving yourself.

 

If you are like me, you are going through waves of emotions. At one time of day I might feel awful, at other times I feel as though it is for the best. Just remember you WILL move on.

[toughtime]

Accepting that you are "over" is a big step that you must take. The fact he is moving is most likely a good thing. It is hard being in the city constantly wondering if you are going to run into the ex. Try to push away thoughts of the two of you getting back together and work towards improving yourself.

 

If you are like me, you are going through waves of emotions. At one time of day I might feel awful, at other times I feel as though it is for the best. Just remember you WILL move on.

 

 

Yes, you are right...I am feeling different emotions..sometimes happy and sometimes I just dont feel like doing anything. Sleep seems to help b/c then I can forget what happens..at least temporarily.

 

I know i have to get out... but I just dont feel like doing it.

[temujin]

dont worry it is normal.. and trust me u do get better... I was literally a complete wreck in Jan and now i am quite proud to say that I am fine 80% of the time... hang on!