Moving On

[DRB]

I'll give you guys a tip which I will be glad to argue with someone about if they have a better idea.

 

If you want to get over your partner stop talking about them to friends, family, whoever.

 

As great as this forum is stop looking at it. Everytime you get on here and write down your own pain and/or read about someone elses it brings back all the old feelings and messes you up again. Don't get me wrong at the start I found writing about it as the best therapy ever but it gets to a point where its not healthy. It is very very essential at the start but continuing to write and read on here just keeps bringing up old memories

 

To keep writing, to keep thinking and to keep talking about it only serves to prolong the suffering. The only person that this suffering is affecting is you because your ex sure as hell doesn't care.

 

You just have to stop being a victim, back yourself and say "I'm better than this, I am in charge of my own life and no one will make me feel like this. I am in charge of how I feel and I choose to feel great" Why give someone else out there the power to make you have a bad day?

 

Just my 2 cents worth

 

Catch ya

 

DRB

[BONO]

Agree 100%. As much as this forum is great to help you move on, it is not a panacea. That has to come from within. People break up every day, its how you grow and learn from that experince that is the key. Some of the stories here are like a living soap opera and better than TV

 

But the mental act of clicking on "breaking up" or "getting back together" subconsciously can hold us back - because we are still thinking about it on some level.

 

 

Scruff - Catching Ya Pal !

[tylercdurden2004]

Actions Speak Louder Than Words!!!!

[BONO]

Actions Speak Louder Than Words!!!!

 

 

Fair point, pal. However I do feel I have a duty to give a something back. As such that intention is in a way saying thank you.

 

Make sense ?

 

 

Scruff

[hk87]

I couldn't agree more! I'm glad you said it DRB. I went away from this site for a few weeks, and I felt so much better, things were really looking up for me. I only briefly check this site now, and try not to relate people's problems to my own.

 

Hk87

[tylercdurden2004]

Fair point, pal. However I do feel I have a duty to give a something back. As such that intention is in a way saying thank you.

 

Make sense ?

Scruff

Maybe one too many last night? I am a bit confused.

 

All I am saying is its fine to talk about your propblem but you gotta do something about it in order for something to change.

[BONO]

Maybe one too many last night? I am a bit confused.

 

All I am saying is its fine to talk about your propblem but you gotta do something about it in order for something to change.

 

Not at all mate. Spent the night in my flat with my GF !!!

 

Scruff

[tylercdurden2004]

Not at all mate. Spent the night in my flat with my GF !!!

 

Scruff

 

She doesnt consider the WB or Fightin' Juice as a romantic beverage? Hmmmmm.... mayeb you need to consider a girl more sensitive to your needs!

[Arielle]

I agree with Scruffism on feeling a duty to pay back. This forum helped me out tremendously, but I'm not going to spend my life here. It seemed selfish to post about my problems then vanish as quickly as I appeared. I hoped to give encouragement to others, which in turn I think helped make me stronger.

[annie24]

I agree with the OP. For a while, talking about things and venting is good. but, there comes a point where continually bringing them up is just going to prevent you from moving on from them. because your brain is constantly thinking about them and what they are doing, etc. At some point you just have to let it go.

[Scout]

There are definitely a few threads on here that have gone beyond working through a break up and crossed over into the obsessive thinking zone. And you can always spot those by the relatively little advice those posters put on threads other than their own.

 

I originally came to eNotalone to help get through a breakup, but stayed after I worked it out because I became interested in other people's stories, and did think my feedback might be of some help. I continue to post here a few years later because this has turned into a real interest for me. I love this site, and have made tremendous personal self-growth because of the feedback I see from other posters, getting involved with other threads, and so on.

[SilverManic]

I come and go, but I do like to give others advice when I can. You need to put back something into the system or it just does not work. I think my mind drew a numb at being pained over relationship issues. Not to be insensitive because I know it's probably hard to do. Yes it brings up memories but if you are over that person then it shouldn't be a problem.

~S.

[DRB]

Well I'm glad I said it then, I was a bit reluctant to have look on here today but I'm glad I did.

 

I agree with everyone elses follow up points except for Tyler Durden, not sure where your coming from mate. I get what Scruff means but if you are "the real" Tyler Durden I understand you completely...........

 

I just think continuly talking about it and hearing about others people grief holds you back. You need to get away from it or it will consume you.

 

So if your one of those people who is still struggling a lot at about the 6 month mark take a break from this and from talking and listening to others grief. See how you go, afterall what have you got to lose? You can't feel any lower than you do now.

 

Catch ya

 

DRB

[GreatGuy]

I coulnd agree more. I usually log on here to check if anyone left me a private message. But I agree we need not feel like the victims, and give control over to someone who at this moment doesn't care anymore. It's all about reclaming your own life, taking a deep breath, realizing that we have lost something we thought was the right thing, but we have gained something more during this process.

I think its important to remember the lessons and grow and know that your self esteem is important, love yourself, breath, be active, think positive, be tough, and realize you will probably be hurt again in the future...so why dwell on this one?

Imagine a wall of flowers around you....be the best you!

[thegoodgirl04]

Hmm that's a good point, I maybe at that stage where it's time to stop coming to ENA for a while....

[okane24]

I agree with everyone here. This is an awesome site to be on and read, 'when you're down in the dumps', for the most part. When my ex broke up with me, this site cured sooo much for me and helped me move on, sort of. For the last month or so, things have been great. I was keeping busy and meeting new people, going out, having fun, hardly thinking of the ex, and honestly, had no time to go on this site. No offense to anyone here, but I had a life.

 

This site is incredible. I jumped back on here because in the last few days, I've felt like I've regressed. Going back to how I was when the ex and I broke up, looking at her pictures, her myspace 3 to 4 times a day, listening to slow jams, really missing her and wanting her back. Going on here just reminds me of how INCREDIBLY hurt she made me. But it also helps me move on.

 

I'm just rambling, but my point is, this site is great, but you shouldn't live here. It does bring back old memories of the ex and going on the 'getting back together' section just makes it harder to let go.

 

Anyhow, Happy posting everyone, but even more so, Happy living!!!