how long have you been healing and how are you?

[ut_longhorn]

how long has everyone been broken up/NC...and how are you doing? how long was your relationship?

 

also, if anyone has any positive stories for the posters...i think that would be good to hear.

[healinginnyc81]

I've been broken up for 2 months from a relationship of 2 yrs 9 months. NC on and off but now a month straight.

I'm at the point where I no longer feel like there's no one else for me. I've accepted that she's gone. I'm not walking around all gloom and doom anymore. I've even started smiling more. I have hope for getting my life back together now. I'm starting to sleep and eat better too. Hope that helps.

[gratefulpain]

12 days now........... yesterday i cooked for myself for the first time since breakup... I am eating again... strict NC... I called her Sunday and told her her appliances etc. are place nicely on my porch and she can come get them. I have not asnwered phone calls not responded to text messages. She caled me childish and hurtful by not wanting to talk to her......To cope I have been staying busy.. I been going to Borders Books everyday and reading everyhing I can get my hands on about healing a broken heart.... I stay busy till I get so tired I look forward to sleeping ....before I go to bed I pray for my family and friends everyone on here and I pray that all her dreams come true and she live a happy healthy life.... then I say to myself I made it another day which brings me one more day closer to feeling 100% again....

[red10]

relationship was about 2 1/2 yrs. With the exception of a couple of emails the first week, NC for about 3 wks....it's tough, but I know I will find someone who will love me back - just really hard to let go - today is a good day, but it's up and down - just have to ride it out!

[deejay74]

it's been 6 weeks to the day since i got dumped. we went out for 6 months.

 

i'm doing better than i was right after the break up and even a couple of weeks ago. but i am having set backs such as running into my ex the other night. it has taken me a few steps back but i keep trying to move forward.

 

i did NC for the first 3 weeks, then i saw her and talked to over the phone, went NC again til i ran into her the other night.

[kellbell]

7 weeks of NC for me. I have not contacted him at all although he has contacted me a few times. I am doing very well...some days are harder than others. Together 4 years, lived together 3.5 years. But overall, it feels good to breath again.

[Scout]

I have a positive story! I discovered eNotalone about two years ago when I was going through a break up. Made all the usual mistakes...tried to be "friends," (i.e., still dating but without him having to be officially committed anymore) and of course, that didn't work. We ended up having an explosive argument and have never talked since.

 

But, I was intrigued by other folks' issues, and posted a lot on their threads. Stayed around eNotalone, learned quite a bit about relationships and my own behavior that contributed to my break up, and also in that time frame, really adjusted to being single. Got a lot accomplished, actually, and became happy on my own.

 

Today, I am two months into a new relationship - with one of the kindest, most loving men I've ever met. I thought I had blown my chances at love, but of course, that's never really the case. And I feel this relationship has a much better chance of succeeding, in no small part due to the influence eNotalone has had on me. I've learned a lot about relationship skills here.

[NJRon]

Was together of 2 years 9 months, broken up now for just over 4 months (actually 5 months, but we still lived together for a month). She now lives in Florida and I have moved on a lot. I am finally feeling comfortable with being single and being by myself isn't so boring anymore

 

I have been having light contact with my ex throughout this time and am actually going down to Florida next month to visit her daughter. I am really looking forward to it and plan on just enjoying the moment. I'm still on the fence as to whether I can maintain a friendship with her right now, but I will know better after my visit.

 

For now, I am really getting to know myself, which is something I haven't really taken the time to do... and I'm finding that I like what's there.

[PassionatePices]

It will be 7 whole days tonight at 9:31p.m. since she left a voicemail. A three month long romance ...didn't realize it would be this hard.

 

These last 2 post really screwed me up!

 

I can't believe i'm crying!

 

Love sucks

 

 

outta here

[Nathalie1970]

I was in a relationship for 3 yrs and have been broken up for 6 weeks. On and off NC, but I finally have decided I am ready to move on. I hurt inside but I have to let go. I still have trouble eating, but the nights are getting better (I can actually go to sleep without the help of tyleno pm).

 

I am just trying to take it day by day, if I slip up (like breaking NC), then I think tomorrow is a new day and I will try harder.

[coollady1957]

I was in a relationship for a year and a half. I just broke it off with him on Jan 3 2006. So I am going on 6 weeks now since the parting. There has been absolutely ZERO contact, NONE, and never will be. He was a liar, deceiver and chronic cheater.

I was surfing around on the internet , and found a site similar to eNotAlone, but only got a few replies and comments back, and the people there didnt seem to be willing to offer much. I signed up on eNotAlone and it is the best thing I could have done for great support and feedback. I immediately got responses and comments from members here. The support and concern of everyone here is wonderful. I consider everyone here my very special friends. I have had several problems and issues that I have posted and got great advice on all.

I am doing great after the breakup. It was hard the first few weeks. The being lonely and not having that person to talk to, and interact with on a daily basis was hard to adjust to. I have been doing alot of things that I had put on the back burner andalso spent some time helping some friends in need, which has helped to keep my mind busy.

[Dako]

I got dumped after 27 years, and went through some rough times. The folks here were instrumental in my recovery to the point that last night, almost 6 months later, I felt like myself again. This site is the most remarkable gathering I've ever encountered.

[locolady]

Dako - just wanted to say that youre an inspiration - i've come accross a few of your posts today and to see you write that youre beginning to feel yourself again is incredible - i've been so unhappy after a break-up and this site has definitely helped - i'm at 6 months too now and also starting to pull myself together - we were together 4 years. To break up after 27 years as you have done is tough- something i cant imagine. Not to belittle anyones relationship (i've done more than my share of crying for mine) but i've got huge respect for you to get on with your life after spending so much of it with your ex-wife. I hope this doesnt sound patronising from someone so young?! I just want to tell you its great that you can see light at the end of the tunnel! I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. Im positive you will again find someone to deserve you.

[vesper]

relationship for six years. broken up on jan.28th. NC since last Saturday although we have the same friends so we do see each other quite often. positive stories are that I have read the other posts on this site and the best lesson I have learned is to LET GO CONTROL of the siutation and MOVE ON it is the most positive advice yet!!

[Dako]

Thanks locolady,

 

I'm not sure it's any harder for me than anyone else. I think in some ways it may be easier to deal with. I have a huge pile of good memories, good friends and feel very fortunate. Anything in my future is just a bonus!

[Spawn]

4 months on and off relationship....almost 1 month on and off NC all from her side though.

 

atleast the on and off thing is common in everythin we did...

 

well, i don't miss her anymore.....still do think about her and her actions/reactions during the relationship and the thing that irritates me the most is that she knows all that she did was wrong and she thinks she is a bad person for whatever she did, but at no point ready to work it out in the relationship. Makin an excuse of it to be single was another reason to make me piss off at myself sometimes.

 

oh well......i may start ventin and rantin again.

 

doin fine tho......with all those not eating days, my hair has really started to fall....takin a tall on my health, no drinkin, no smokin....just plain ol stress.

[Songbird]

I got dumped after a 3.5 year relationship. I'm not doing too well right now. Found this site four days after the breakup, there has to be a God...

For now, reading all the posts I can has been somewhat therapeutic because it's taking the focus off me & my little pity party. There is remarkable advise here & some of it is slowly starting to sink in...

 

Tonight is day 21 of NC. Haven't heard a peep or a squeak from him since he moved out.

[selfi]

Have been healing for 4 months from a 4 month relationship, that I left my boyfriend of 2 years for. 1 month of NC so far.

 

Ive progressed career wise (im now PR girl of my cities most exclusive nightclub, and have been on TV and the newspaper! )

Lately He has asked a mutual friend about how I am, but thats all ive heard so far. Though I will have to see this guy everyday when college starts up again.

 

Deep down I love him, and may consider giving him another chance if he wanted it, but this board has been a wealth of knowledge and is the main contributor on helping me see the light. Beautiful things will come to all of you who are more than deserving of it.

[octopus]

6 month very intense relationship; we lived together. At month 4 he was *implying* about us getting married, at month 5, he decided he didn't feel the way his EXGF made him feel.

 

Broke up 2 months ago, haven't seen him or talked to him for 5 full weeks since I moved out of his place. He emails me articles from the papers, or other "friendly" things, which make me SO upset, but I respond in a cool way, sometimes he IM's and I say I have to go.

 

I begged the first night after the break-up, asked him if he missed me on week 4, but I got my answers and I will never, ever contact him again. If there is any chance of anything working out it has to come from the dumper.

 

How am I doing? I lost like 10 lbs the first 3 weeks because I just could not eat anything. I couldn't sleep either. I'm better now; I feel like I'm moving on. I go to a different place every weekend, keep myself busy, I started playing djembe, I go to a salsa club every monday... I miss him deeply, and I feel like if I never see him, I will be fine. But I know I will see him at a conference in March, and I'm already sweating about it.

 

NC definetely is the only way to go. Not only do you block all means of getting hurt or rejected again, but also you (probably) make them wonder what you're up to, too.

[Benny1077]

Was with her for 3.5 years...she moved out in January. I've had NC for about 2 weeks, and it does work! The first few weeks were unbearable, didn't eat or sleep. Getting out really does help, at first I really didn't want to do that, but it has given me new life. I've shut off contact with anyone who might tell me what she's doing now, that seems to be working out well. I'm able to focus more on the negative aspects of my ex more, and the good memories are not as painful to think about. I found this site just in the nick of time. The advice I've gotten on this site has been priceless. Nobody sugar coats anything so I've really been able to focus on me and get MY life back in order. It still hurts a little, but I'm living my life.

[77streaks]

NC is really tough for me. although its only been two days since i've ended things. loneliness is a cold plague, but i try to distract myself by forcing myself to get out of the house. Somehow the air outside wakes me up, and i remember all the other things to think about and remember.

 

its hard, i still have some of his things and vice versa. and i have endless strings of could it be me? thoughts on why we just don't work.

 

we've been so close over the last 4 months, spending so much time together that he has become such a huge part of my daily life, the phone calls. i enjoy cooking for him, and he drives me around. Now there is this absense that feels terrible. yet the reason to end this is pretty compelling to me, trust.

 

reading all this links, i have learnt alot. Going to see a therapist about my trust and relationship issues.

 

today, i m going to a bbq, and getting it set up, though i don't really feel up to it, i know getting busy will help. I really don't look forward to people asking me about my love life, given that V-day is up soon, but i know there are other single people out there, and that the magic of love will return, and is not scheduled for a single day each year.

 

i have slumps when i feel just unable to deal, but somehow it picks up depite the heaviness. I know this is goinng be a while.

 

I am in transition, i resigned to do freelance work & study and the freetime i have now is open space for the dwelling. Really glad to find this site. I feel alot less lonely knowing that i can unlock my feelings and that there so many other people pained. I feel less weak, i was angry with myself for being so emotionally affected, and swung when i have so much to sort out in my life. Yet i am coming to terms with mourning and accepting things, though the full impact may have yet to descend upon me.

 

I stayed up hoping he would call, but i am glad he didn't.

I hope something good and unexpected comes along to brighten your day. the sunlight turns the leaves golden in the dawn thats breaking over my day here, and for this moment at least, i feel some calmness and hope.

 

 

[octopus]

I stayed up hoping he would call, but i am glad he didn't.

I hope something good and unexpected comes along to brighten your day. the sunlight turns the leaves golden in the dawn thats breaking over my day here, and for this moment at least, i feel some calmness and hope.

 

 

 

Quick note on the Calling thing... For work, I fly every week. When I was still with my ex, I'd keep my phone on until the very last minute I boarded the plane, in case he'd call. Ever since we broke up, I don't even bother turning my phone on somedays, because I know the only person I really want to talk to, won't call. Isnt that sad?

[nenez]

Ive been broken up just about a year and to honest im yippee de doo most of the time. it was hard but i am happy happy jst to be alive these days. Nxxx

[Nathalie1970]

Octopus,

 

It's not sad, its the way you can deal with everything.

[moonunit]

I'm going on 11 months here and about 3 months? or so of NC - though I've received a xmas and bd note. I didn't respond. The last time we spoke things went well, then I found out more about what was said/done back when I made the 'discovery' and it just completely made me turn the switch off. At this point in time I don't want anything to do with him, though I still think about him often.

 

I'm dating causually, met someone in Dec. but we are more friends than anything else. However, just yesterday I developed my first crush on someone else. So I think I'm progressing finally though there have been set backs.

 

I'm ok. Still a bit sad about the whole thing but I think more than just the breakup but the "actions" and what was said by him once 'caught'. the blame game can do horrible things to one's soul you know?