Afraid of burning alive in car crash

[Raddu]

All my life I have been afraid of burning alive in a car or bus crash. I don't drive but I take the bus because I need to.

There was that bus crash in italy where it caught fire a few months ago and I happened to pass on the same highway a day earlier. While I was afraid of burning before, I am now even more terrified.

I also did a stupid thing and I looked for videos of people burning alive in cars, and I saw one with a girl that was stuck in a car and at first she called after her mother, after which she constantly screamed for about 2 minutes until she dies. They were the most vicios horrendous screams I ever heard, and people were trying to get her out but they couldn't, and at first the fire was covering only part of the car, but after about minute it covered the whole car and she was still screaming.

Now I cant get it out of my head, and while it does affect me because of what horrible thing can happen to someone, it affects me more because I am afraid it could happen to me. And there is no way to make sure this will never happen to me. Even if I never drive, people burn in buses too, like those people in Italy.

So I don't know what to do. Even if I go to therapy, it still wont save me from this, and it could still happen to me.

[Capricorn3]

I can only strongly advise you seek professional counseling/therapy to help you get to the core of where all this is coming from.  Other than that I don't think there is any other way of help.

[MissCanuck]

14 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

I can only strongly advise you seek professional counseling/therapy to help you get to the core of where all this is coming from.  Other than that I don't think there is any other way of help.

I echo this. 

This isn't about the horrifying images themselves, though that's obviously very distressing. It's related to you harbouring this phobia and feeding into it by searching for the gory details to affirm your fears. 

Professional help is the only effective way to go.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Raddu said:

There was that bus crash in italy where it caught fire a few months ago I also did a stupid thing and I looked for videos of people burning alive in cars, 

Sorry this is happening. Please see a therapist about the phobias. In the meantime please stop doom scrolling. 

[Seraphim]

When anxiety becomes that severe it is time to get a referral for therapy. 

[Seraphim]

About 59 million people in Italy ,deaths in a vehicle 2900 a year. Slim to absolute zero you’re ever going to have that accident. 

[ShySoul]

I had a cousin who was riding a bicycle home at night and died from being hit by a car. My father was mugged walking on the street. 

I say this not to inspire more fear, but to show that no matter the method of travel, there is a risk. Every moment we live, we take the risk that something bad will happen. My brother had a stroke out of nowhere. But the odds of these things happening are rare. Everyday millions of people ride in vehicles and are safe. I take a bus to and from work four days a week and the worse that has happened to me is loud passengers. Your chance of nothing bad involving cars happening to you far exceeds the chance of an accident. So the question is, do you want to let your fear control you and dictate your actions? Or do you want to put that fear in its place?

[Batya33]

6 hours ago, ShySoul said:

had a cousin who was riding a bicycle home at night and died from being hit by a car. My father was mugged walking on the street. 

I have a friend who was run over by a bus crossing the street and now uses a wheelchair and another who was in an accident when the driver swerved to avoid a small animal and she ended up living another 30 years paralyzed and passed away tragically in her middle age -based on her injuries.  My father was mugged in a parking lot and my sister walking in the street and me as well another time. I agree with Shysoul and maybe that will help give you perspective.  

I also have had amazing experiences being helped by strangers and avoided being hit by cars many many times.  Life is like that!

[catfeeder]

On 2/27/2024 at 1:10 AM, Raddu said:

Even if I go to therapy, it still wont save me from this, and it could still happen to me.

It's true that therapy isn't like a car wash where you come out shiny and clean of all cares and worries. And the while best therapist in the world cannot guarantee your safety in the world, they have years of training and experience in helping people with anxiety and phobias and other conditions that harm one's quality of life.

So you get to decide whether you'll want to commit to learning and doing the work to improve the enjoyment and quality of your life, or whether you'd prefer to hold onto your fears and continue to stoke them into a condition that makes your life miserable.

None of us have a crystal ball that gives us knowledge of the time or the means of our end of life. We only have the free will to make decisions about how we will live out this time in this body. People have no trouble hiring a plumber or a tax accountant or a dentist for such trained areas of expertise, and yet when it comes to one's overall quality of life, why can't that be a priority?

[Batya33]

44 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

It's true that therapy isn't like a car wash where you come out shiny and clean of all cares and worries. And the while best therapist in the world cannot guarantee your safety in the world, they have years of training and experience in helping people with anxiety and phobias and other conditions that harm one's quality of life.

So you get to decide whether you'll want to commit to learning and doing the work to improve the enjoyment and quality of your life, or whether you'd prefer to hold onto your fears and continue to stoke them into a condition that makes your life miserable.

None of us have a crystal ball that gives us knowledge of the time or the means of our end of life. We only have the free will to make decisions about how we will live out this time in this body. People have no trouble hiring a plumber or a tax accountant or a dentist for such trained areas of expertise, and yet when it comes to one's overall quality of life, why can't that be a priority?

Therapy will give you tools to deal with the thoughts and fears so that they’re not hindering your daily life. For example you could heaven forbid ingest fentanyl slipped into your fast food or meal but do you live life being anxious about that ? Unless you eat all your food from scratch you always make yourself - you probably eat more often prepared or restaurant food than being in a car but yet you don’t worry about being poisoned.