Raddu

All my life I have been afraid of burning alive in a car or bus crash. I don't drive but I take the bus because I need to. There was that bus crash in italy where it caught fire a few months ago and I happened to pass on the same highway a day earlier. While I was afraid of burning before, I am now even more terrified. I also did a stupid thing and I looked for videos of people burning alive in cars, and I saw one with a girl that was stuck in a car and at first she called after her mother, after which she constantly screamed for about 2 minutes until she dies. They were the most vicios horrendous screams I ever heard, and people were trying to get her out but they couldn't, and at first the fire was covering only part of the car, but after about minute it covered the whole car and she was still screaming. Now I cant get it out of my head, and while it does affect me because of what horrible thing can happen to someone, it affects me more because I am afraid it could happen to me. And there is no way to make sure this will never happen to me. Even if I never drive, people burn in buses too, like those people in Italy. So I don't know what to do. Even if I go to therapy, it still wont save me from this, and it could still happen to me.

The subject is pretty complicated so here goes. My dad raped some women in Poland in his youth and then ran back to Romania when I was born to my mother, who was in a consensual relationship with her. So a few months ago I got in contact with what would be my half sister from a woman he raped and we decided to meet. We didn't run a DNA test or anything, but based on what my father and her mother said, we are quite sure we are related. Next week we will meet, we are both 32 years old (she is a month older) and we will meet in Romania since she will come visit here. I am romanian and she is polish as I said. My question would be, what do I say? While we did talk about alot of stuff online, somehow it feels much more serious now that we meet in person. I know she said that what my dad did to her mom was horrible, but I was thinking that without that she wouldn't exist. Should I bring it up, either that or my dad situation, but she will probably wanna talk about it. Maybe just focus on what we've been doing? I'm way more nervous than I should be, but I want to make a good impression. Got any advice for me?