Blocked after being told he loves me?

[Sarah Smith]

Me and my ex had a pretty turbulent breakup. But we ended up being on good terms, because I tried really hard to keep the peace and at least make things okay between us, like two adults.

We were on talking terms and everything was okay, although he sometimes randomly accused me of things , like sleeping with others, to which I told him it’s non of his business because we broke up, but for his info I am not.

And then suddenly one day he sent me a message telling me I’m worth everything and that he loves me. 
I took a couple of days to think about these messages, because I was worried I’d take him back and he would keep up his sporadic behavior and baling, which hurts my feelings. 
When I didn’t respond for a while to think about these big words, he sent a message that I’m supposed to just forget it. I apologized for not answering more quickly but told him I needed some time to reflect and that I’ll eventually respond, and that life has also been busy lately. And then he out of the blue, for no reason blocked me on every media, no explanation, nothing . Just disappeared. 

Keep in mind he has a history of sporadic and unpredictable behavior with bizarre reasons.

But this left me in the dark and I feel stuck thinking about it. It’s just extremely hurtful and bizarre that someone tells you they love you and the next thing they do is block, without the recipient even having done or said anything to deserve it.

Any tips for this situation?

[MissCanuck]

17 minutes ago, Sarah Smith said:

Any tips for this situation?

Yes - it's time you drop him for good. 

There is no point trying to be friends or continuing communication. You need to get him out of your life completely. 

It's over, girl. Keep it that way. 

[Wiseman2]

19 minutes ago, Sarah Smith said:

Me and my ex had a pretty turbulent breakup.  then suddenly one day he sent me a message telling me I’m worth everything and that he loves me. I Tooktook a couple of days to think about these messages, because I was worried I’d take him back and he would keep up his sporadic behavior and baling, which hurts my feelings. 

How long were you together? What was the breakup about? Were there breakups before?  Was the relationship manipulative or abusive?

Please don't try to stay friends. He seems to lack boundaries and seems controlling. Please delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Please talk to trusted friends and family and reach out for support to extricate him from your life permanently. 

[Sarah Smith]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long were you together? What was the breakup about? Were there breakups before?  Was the relationship manipulative or abusive?

Please don't try to stay friends. He seems to lack boundaries and seems controlling. Please delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Please talk to trusted friends and family and reach out for support to extricate him from your life permanently. 

Like a year..

 I’m not sure, I broke up because he was flaky, mean and unreliable. But he kind of made it back into my life, and then he made up some story (again) about something false and left on several occasions 

[MissCanuck]

Instead of wondering about him and why he's doing this, focus more on yourself and why you are doing this.  

Where is your self-esteem, Sarah? 

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Sarah Smith said:

 I broke up because he was flaky, mean and unreliable.  he kind of made it back into my life,  about something false and left on several occasions 

You made the right decision ending things. Please delete and block him permanently from ALL your social media and messaging apps.  Please read up on red flags for abusive and controlling relationships. 

[Sarah Smith]

21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You made the right decision ending things. Please delete and block him permanently from ALL your social media and messaging apps.  Please read up on red flags for abusive and controlling relationships. 

Thank you🙏

[boltnrun]

5 hours ago, Sarah Smith said:

Keep in mind he has a history of sporadic and unpredictable behavior with bizarre reasons.

If he keeps doing this and you don't like it, you have all the power in the world.  Simply block him from contacting you and end this cycle permanently.

[NighttimeNightmare]

You’re on the crazy train and it’s time to get off 

5 hours ago, Sarah Smith said:

And then suddenly one day he sent me a message telling me I’m worth everything and that he loves me. 
I took a couple of days to think about these messages, because I was worried I’d take him back and he would keep up his sporadic behavior and baling, which hurts my feelings. 
When I didn’t respond for a while to think about these big words, he sent a message that I’m supposed to just forget it

People who are healthy will allow you the time you need to respond to their texts. They don’t say something and then tantrum and take it away because you didn’t meet their needs in time. 

essentially, he was only willing to claim he “loved you” if it meant you gave him immediate reassurance. When you didn’t do that, he took his “love” away and disposed of you 

as another poster said - this is all less about him and more about you: why are you on this crazy train? 

[Sarah Smith]

47 minutes ago, NighttimeNightmare said:

You’re on the crazy train and it’s time to get off 

People who are healthy will allow you the time you need to respond to their texts. They don’t say something and then tantrum and take it away because you didn’t meet their needs in time. 

essentially, he was only willing to claim he “loved you” if it meant you gave him immediate reassurance. When you didn’t do that, he took his “love” away and disposed of you 

as another poster said - this is all less about him and more about you: why are you on this crazy train? 

This is a good response, I’ll take your advice, thank you

[catfeeder]

8 hours ago, Sarah Smith said:

...he has a history of sporadic and unpredictable behavior with bizarre reasons.

This sounds like you have the right answer. So the next question becomes, how much of your time and your heart do you want to invest in someone like this?

Healing isn't something that happens 'to' us, it requires our participation.

See how much of your focus you can move forward toward building a wonderful future for yourself. The sooner you can heal, the sooner you can find the kind of love you want and deserve.

[Capricorn3]

10 hours ago, Sarah Smith said:

 I broke up because he was flaky, mean and unreliable. But he kind of made it back into my life, and then he made up some story (again) about something false and left on several occasions 

^ That right there was your cue to block and go full NC.  The question is why you allow this?  Is it low self-esteem?  As long as you keep responding, he'll keep treating you badly.  You broke up for a very good reason.  Keep it that way.  Block and be done permanently and then focus on your own mental health and healing.

[Sarah Smith]

32 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

^ That right there was your cue to block and go full NC.  The question is why you allow this?  Is it low self-esteem?  As long as you keep responding, he'll keep treating you badly.  You broke up for a very good reason.  Keep it that way.  Block and be done permanently and then focus on your own mental health and healing.

I guess I tend to see the best in people I have an emotional attachment to and that leads me to giving way too many chances and compromise my self worth. But you are right, enough is enough. And I should probably do some self reflection on what leads me to allow people to treat me this poorly

[Batya33]

20 minutes ago, Sarah Smith said:

I guess I tend to see the best in people I have an emotional attachment to and that leads me to giving way too many chances and compromise my self worth. But you are right, enough is enough. And I should probably do some self reflection on what leads me to allow people to treat me this poorly

Yes the problem is you don't tend to see the best in yourself.  And you justify "I see the best in people" because you're insecure and glom on to people and don't want to do the work of asserting yourself -it's out of neediness you see "the best" in them.

[boltnrun]

Are you afraid of being unloved or abandoned? 

Holding onto people who don't treat you well is not "seeing the best". It's fear, and it keeps you in situations that are not good for you. 

[MissCanuck]

5 hours ago, Sarah Smith said:

I tend to see the best in people

No, seeing in the best in someone isn't what drives us to hang on to toxic people. 

It's usually the fear of being alone, and/or wanting to prove something to ourselves (ie. I must be worth something if this is nutter is still talking to me)  So we stay and hope they do or say something that will reassure us that we have value. That is where this cycle of dysfunction often stems from: using the other person as a measuring stick of our self-worth and feeling like we musn't be worth much if they walk away. 

Not because we want to "see the best" in them.  

[Cherylyn]

Ignore,  block and delete him back and everywhere. 

[Kwothe28]

People in lots of cases confuse "turbulence" with "love". And think that one is the other. If he blocked you days later he doesnt "love" you and cant live without you. He just confused that turbulence you had with the feelings of love and wants that back. Which is a mess by itself. 

You keeping him in your life is also messy. Or even contemplating on giving him a chance before you were blocked. Do better with men in your life. And dont let this mess into your life ever again. Consider that he blocked you and doesnt want nothing with you a blessing.