Yays and Nays

[boltnrun]

24 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Covid really threw everyone for a loop and it has been so hard for everyone to recover. Crossing my fingers this helps you get over that last hurdle . 

Thank you.

I have an appointment for next Monday. The only thing I found a bit off-putting is the therapist types in somewhat broken English. But hopefully she speaks better than she writes. 

[Seraphim]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

Thank you.

I have an appointment for next Monday. The only thing I found a bit off-putting is the therapist types in somewhat broken English. But hopefully she speaks better than she writes. 

I hope so . I know it is so important to make a connection with a therapist. 

[boltnrun]

You know that coworker who loves to email you (and copy your manager) the (very small number of) times you do something that needs correcting but NEVER emails you (with a copy to your manager) the hundreds of times you do everything right?

Yeah, that coworker. 

[Batya33]

14 hours ago, boltnrun said:

You know that coworker who loves to email you (and copy your manager) the (very small number of) times you do something that needs correcting but NEVER emails you (with a copy to your manager) the hundreds of times you do everything right?

Yeah, that coworker. 

I also cannot stand the cc thing.  Or -even worse -forwarding to the manager.  

[boltnrun]

If it's an email to point out something that was done wrong and they copy your manager there's only one reason... they're trying to get you in trouble. Fortunately my manager doesn't react to crap like that. He knows I do good work. 

Absolutely pouring rain. I wanted to just work remotely today and not go in but that would be asking for special treatment and I won't do that. 

[boltnrun]

Total white knuckle drive to work this morning. It wasn't so much the rain (although there was flooding on the freeway) but the wind. My car hydroplaned several times. I never got above 60 mph. There were some asshats who wanted to go 85 but they could just go around me. I stayed in the third lane anyway. 

It should be better on the way home this afternoon.

[boltnrun]

Drive home was a piece of 🍰. Other than one short squall it was dry the entire way. Only took me 50 minutes to get home!

[boltnrun]

I don't like it when I go into the office and it's obvious someone has been using my desk. Ours is not a "hot desk" setup (thankfully) and there are plenty of open offices and cubicles. There's absolutely no need for anyone to be using my stuff. 

I took this afternoon off. My brother is dealing with something extremely upsetting. I don't want to get into it here because it's highly personal but I wanted to be available to him in case I need to go to his home which is an hour away without traffic.

[Batya33]

I respect your privacy and I hope he feels better and I'm glad you are there for him.

[boltnrun]

Thank you.

[boltnrun]

Ya know, I am aging and I don't like what the years have done to some parts of my appearance.  But I will not ever get any kind of cosmetic surgery that turns me into a frightening specter.  My goodness, some of these celebrities and actors have taken their naturally aging faces and turned them into something terrifying with all this surgery.

I have several cousins who are older by a decade than some of these actors and celebrities and they are so much lovelier without having procedures done.  Lordy.

And what's more tragic (to me) are the young people who do this.  I feel like once you start it's nearly impossible to stop.

Now, I am not opposed to cosmetic procedures.  I had rhinoplasty because I broke my nose when I was middle school aged and it healed crooked and caused internal damage.  But I haven't had anything else done and I don't plan to.  I just moisturize and don't cake my face with pounds of makeup (never have).

(Celebrity cosmetic procedures do not impact me one bit.  Just expressing an opinion.)

[itsallgrand]

Oh I agree completely. I find that a lot of them with obvious work end up looking older than they are. And lose their uniqueness, looking generic plastic surgery and lip filler look. I see it becoming more and more normalized with regular people and I hate that. 

My grandma on my dad's side was a beauty. I thought she looked pretty even in old age. Same with my grandpa. They took care of themselves, had immaculate hygiene, dressed smart. I'm going to try and go that route. They were chic! There's an elegance that can come with maturity when you lean into it, I think. 

[Batya33]

40 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Ya know, I am aging and I don't like what the years have done to some parts of my appearance.  But I will not ever get any kind of cosmetic surgery that turns me into a frightening specter.  My goodness, some of these celebrities and actors have taken their naturally aging faces and turned them into something terrifying with all this surgery.

I have several cousins who are older by a decade than some of these actors and celebrities and they are so much lovelier without having procedures done.  Lordy.

And what's more tragic (to me) are the young people who do this.  I feel like once you start it's nearly impossible to stop.

Now, I am not opposed to cosmetic procedures.  I had rhinoplasty because I broke my nose when I was middle school aged and it healed crooked and caused internal damage.  But I haven't had anything else done and I don't plan to.  I just moisturize and don't cake my face with pounds of makeup (never have).

(Celebrity cosmetic procedures do not impact me one bit.  Just expressing an opinion.)

Same - a c-section and oral surgery were more than enough procedures for me!

[boltnrun]

49 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Same - a c-section and oral surgery were more than enough procedures for me!

I've actually had about five surgeries not counting two separate tooth extractions but all except for the rhinoplasty were due to medical issues. And the rhinoplasty was a partial reconstruction of the interior of my nose so it was only partly cosmetic. Never had fillers, a face lift, Botox injections, implants, etc. 

And I'm not knocking anyone who chooses to have these procedures. It's a personal choice. 

But recently there was a film released starring Meg Ryan and David Duchovny and all I could see was the extensive cosmetic surgery results and piles of makeup. It was jarring to see these attractive people looking so...odd. 

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I've actually had about five surgeries not counting two separate tooth extractions but all except for the rhinoplasty were due to medical issues. And the rhinoplasty was a partial reconstruction of the interior of my nose so it was only partly cosmetic. Never had fillers, a face lift, Botox injections, implants, etc. 

And I'm not knocking anyone who chooses to have these procedures. It's a personal choice. 

But recently there was a film released starring Meg Ryan and David Duchovny and all I could see was the extensive cosmetic surgery results and piles of makeup. It was jarring to see these attractive people looking so...odd. 

Neither am I - judging anyone - - and same here.  Medical issues.  Three extractions (one wisdom tooth as an older adult), the near-emergency c-section. I hate having any kind of procedure so that is one reason it is not for me.  

[boltnrun]

I see surgery as a means to remove a "bad part" or to correct a deficiency or injury. I'm of the mindset that if it's endangering me in some way just cut it out or off lol. But I guess I don't view the natural progression of aging to be something I NEED to correct or try to reverse. 🤷‍♀️ I won't die of droopy eyelids or a furrow between my eyebrows. 

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I see surgery as a means to remove a "bad part" or to correct a deficiency or injury. I'm of the mindset that if it's endangering me in some way just cut it out or off lol. But I guess I don't view the natural progression of aging to be something I NEED to correct or try to reverse. 🤷‍♀️ I won't die of droopy eyelids or a furrow between my eyebrows. 

Yes.  I regularly see moms on my FB mom groups in their 30s bemoaning that first wrinkle.  In a real way I mean.  I just don't get it.  I started wearing makeup again daily about 6 months ago.  Not much at all. But makes me feel better about me especially since I have been unable to wear contact lenses for years now and I need larger frames because of my prescription.  I do find it important to look slim, fit and reasonably healthy but I don't do fancy stuff - cardio, lots of tap water, eat reasonably healthy.

[boltnrun]

I don't bother with makeup. I just think, I look the way I look. 🤷‍♀️ Also I'm lazy lol. I'd rather sleep an extra 15 minutes than get up earlier to put on makeup.

My bestie visited me a few years ago and I was shocked, literally, when I saw her putting on her makeup. She took 15 minutes and used three different products just to fix up her eyebrows! The rest of her makeup routine took another 40 minutes.

I'm just not interested in putting in that much effort. A little matte face powder if I'm going to work in the office or going out to eat or shop. Sometimes curl my eyelashes. Bam. 

But I realize others have different priorities or opinions. And that's cool. It certainly doesn't harm me in any way! They look better than I do, but I'm OK with that. 

[ShySoul]

45 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

They look better than I do, but I'm OK with that. 

As a guy, I'd argue the opposite. If you have have to spend an hour with makeup to hide so called imperfections or highlight certain features, can you really say you look better? Or do you just look like a walking billboard for various products? 

If people want to do all that, go ahead. But I can think of better ways to spend that time. Not to mention the cost of it all. Each person is beautiful in their own way. If I think you look nice, throwing on a ton of product won't make me feel any stronger. If anything, less is more. Give me the natural look any day,

[boltnrun]

54 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

Give me the natural look any day,

My issue is, eventually the makeup will come off.  So will the Spanx, the padded bra, the butt lifting leggings...if I love someone they're going to get the "real" me.  WYSIWYG is my motto.

Now, I'm not talking about a little powder and eyeliner and mascara to add a bit of emphasis.  I mean taking an hour plus to pack on a ton of products that result in you (the general you) looking like someone completely different.

There's a flight attendant YouTuber I watch, Kat Nesbitt.  She is comfortable appearing on camera without any makeup at all.  She's lovely.  But then she cakes on things that I don't even know what they are (concealer?  contouring something or other?) and adds inch long false eyelashes and a bright red lipstick (with lipliner??) and she spends a ton of time using some giant curl making/smoothing device that apparently costs a couple hundred dollars (Dyson?) and in the end she looks like a caricature of herself.  I mean, it's pretty but she looks like a mannequin.  I don't get why such a pretty young lady does that.  

My aforementioned bestie would cake on makeup which caused breakouts.  So then she'd cake on even more makeup to cover them up which caused more breakouts.  Etc. etc.  I advised her to take a month off from makeup to allow her skin to breathe and heal.  The look of horror she gave me!  She gasped "Noooo, I can't do that!!!"  Um, why not?  I've seen her without makeup and her skin is a disaster.  I mean, mine isn't perfect but it's mostly smooth and mostly free of scarring, while hers is full of old blemish scars.  She's another one who's naturally absolutely beautiful but I guess she doesn't think so?

To each their own, of course.  I just boil my attitude down to general laziness and a desire to not engage in "false advertising".  The price is I don't look nearly as pretty as most of my friends but that's OK.  I'll just remain in the background.

[Batya33]

My makeup takes me about 5 minutes.  I don't need spanx or padded bra etc -I am fit and slim and it is important to me to be fit and slim.  Always has been. I do put in a fair amount of time to that between working out, prepping for reasonably healthy meals, focusing on drinking enough water each day but I spend less time than a person who travels to a gym because my fitness center is downstairs and/or the jogging path is less than 2 blocks away and if I work out outside the walk to the park is when I begin.  To me that's about internal and external health and appearance.

I used to take longer with makeup but I don't now.  I feel better facing the world with makeup on.  I feel like I look washed out/too pale/too tired without it. The 5 minute difference is really something. 

[boltnrun]

My comments were not and are not directed to anyone on this forum. They are based on my own observations and personal preferences. 

[Batya33]

25 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

My comments were not and are not directed to anyone on this forum. They are based on my own observations and personal preferences. 

Of course! Neither were mine! It was clear from all you wrote.  Mine are also based on my own observations and personal preferences.

[boltnrun]

I had an appointment with a new therapist scheduled for tomorrow.  TODAY she messaged me saying she is cancelling and will be unavailable for a month and she's looking forward to seeing me when she returns!  I politely told her to go eff herself and scheduled with a different therapist.

How unprofessional.

[Batya33]

47 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I had an appointment with a new therapist scheduled for tomorrow.  TODAY she messaged me saying she is cancelling and will be unavailable for a month and she's looking forward to seeing me when she returns!  I politely told her to go eff herself and scheduled with a different therapist.

How unprofessional.

Oh goodness! I agree!