Is my wife cheating on me?

[Username23]

This is a little sensitive for me. My wife has been very distant and uninterested in intimacy. She lies constantly about even minor things. I haven’t met her friends even after 3 years. Recently she went on a girls trip to the beach with these friends I’ve never met. She made it a point to avoid me seeing them by lying about how far away from home she was on her way back. I was going to meet her at the door with a glass of wine and introduce myself to them. She said she was over an hour away and then suddenly showed up. She blew up on me when I asked her why. Recently I was unpacking her suitcase and found what I believe to be menstrual discs. To my knowledge, women use these to be able to have sex during their periods. She was on her period when she left and her story changed constantly about what she did on her trip. I should note that she has never used these before. Do I have a reason to be worried?

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, Username23 said:

 I was unpacking her suitcase and found what I believe to be menstrual discs. To my knowledge, women use these to be able to have sex during their periods. 

How long have you been married? Are there any real and tangible reasons to believe she's cheating? You're already rifling through her suitcase?

How much do you know about her? Have you met her family or other friends? Do you both work? Have kids? Does she have other unexplained outings?

[Username23]

She asked me to get her charger and I found them. I’ve haven’t met the majority of her friends and family. I’ve caught her in lies about texting other guys before. She lied about being previously engaged as well. When I see her snap chatting guys she always claims it’s a relative. But I’ve never heard her other family mention this persons name before. We have no kids but I believe she has had a child before and is lying to me about that as well since I saw a picture showing her holding a newborn baby while laying in a hospital bed. We both work but often I work longer hours a couple of nights a week. Her coworkers have accused her of having affairs with other coworkers in the past few months as well. She lies about everything and any time I ask her a calm question she starts screaming and yelling. 

[Coily]

1 hour ago, Username23 said:

 She lies about everything and any time I ask her a calm question she starts screaming and yelling. 

Affair or not this is extremely unhealthy in any relationship.

She is showing many of the hallmarks of a cheater:
Evasive, Quick to anger, being sneaky about who she sees, and chatting with random guys to whom she won't introduce you.

Unfortunately you have a very serious problem to address. It's almost as if she is treating you more like a roommate than a spouse. Even if she wasn't cheating (and I have my suspicions) this behavior would never be acceptable.

I would consult an attorney to see what your options are, make notes about when things like this happen, and consider separating your finances. And to stop the naysayers beforehand, you want to arm yourself with these fact, not for the divorce, but for the settlement.

 

[Kwothe28]

2 hours ago, Username23 said:

Do I have a reason to be worried?

Most probably yes. Oh, and "girl friends" are probably just bunch of men. Your wife is a liar and most probably a serious cheater. Why do you think you didnt met any of her "girfriends"? Because they arent women at all.

Which brings me to my next point. You already know she lies and hides things from you including her so called "friends". She literally hid her kid(or just that she had one at some point) from you. Why even marry somebody like that? Its a huge liability from the start and you cant really expect anything better from her.

[shouldhavelearned]

Chances are high she is and definitely doing things she doesn't want you to know about 

[Andrina]

Did you marry her 30 days after dating? Sounds like it, or that your self-esteem is in the gutter because your relationship hasn't been healthy from the get-go.

[catfeeder]

10 hours ago, Username23 said:

Do I have a reason to be worried?

Long before this. Marrying a liar who won't even let you meet her friends is a whole combo plate of quality of life issues. That's before you even get to cheating.

[NM2023]

So sorry it happened to you. If she is not cheating, she is not respecting you either. You need to put your foot down, never allow someone to treat you this way. This is borderline abusive behavior coming from her. You are her husband and you need to make her respect you.

You do not need to worry about anything, you simply need to reposition yourself in your marriage because right now, the scales are unbalanced. Let her know that from now on, you will not accept.... list everything you don't want to accept... and stick to your request. The reason why she is acting this way is because she sees you as a weak man and it always happens to men who are kind because some women mistaken kindness for weakness.

So go ahead, tell her that there is a sheriff in town and list the new rules.  Chances are, when you change your behavior, she will change hers too.

 

[NighttimeNightmare]

12 hours ago, Username23 said:

When I see her snap chatting guys she always claims it’s a relative.

My cheating ex did this. Every guy she talked to or went on a trip with was a “relative” or a “roommate”

 

your partner sounds shady af. But that aside, you have proof she’s a bonafide liar? I don’t know how that relationship would work even absent the cheating. How can you believe anything she says? It’s all lies.  That’s the antithesis to a functional relationship. Are you just spending your time locked into suspicion and trying to decode her every step? You can’t trust her, you’d be foolish to, so what is there? 

[smackie9]

When you feel this uncomfortable in your own marriage, it's time to get out. So sorry but no matter if she's cheating or not, she's not being a good partner.

[redswim30]

I don't have enough info to know whether or not your wife is cheating.  However, the problems you actually have with her are IMVHO, FAR worse than IF she were having an affair. 

Your wife doesn't respect you.  Your wife is emotionally and psychologically abusing you.  Your wife is lying to you about multiple things.  Your wife isn't treating you like a friend, much less a loving partner. 

Your wife has created a situation whereby it's impossible to trust her.   Any reasonable person would view all of these actions as untrustworthy.  

Please consider divorcing this abusive person who so clearly doesn't care about you at all.