am i right or wrong

[asddd]

A few months ago i had birthday. Im not really a social person and im shy so i only threw a small party for 5 of my closest friends. i knew then that doing that means that probably other people wont invite me to their parties but i didnt care at that time.

but a few days ago i heard that one girl that i know (and didnt invite) is also having a birthday party and she invited all my friends except me (she’s making a party for like 30 people). at first i felt really bad about it, i felt excluded and that nobody likes me. but later i thought that maybe its because i didnt invite her. 

now its kind of an awkward situation, because i dont know how to act, be cool about it and act like its normal or avoid her because maybe she doesn’t like me that much. i do feel bad still and i wish i had made a bigger party. 

but my question is, am i making myself a victim here? it made me really sad for a few days , but maybe i just made a mistake and she is right not inviting me, also is it possible that its my fault because i didn’t invite her?? 

i know that this may sound ridiculous because its just a party and nothing big, but now i just feel so worse than my friends, i feel like a stranger that nobody likes, because not inviting to a party sometimes can mean that that person is not really liked….

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, asddd said:

 later i thought that maybe its because i didnt invite her. 

Happy birthday.  This is probably the case. Are you close friends? Wish her a happy birthday and be a good sport. Even if you can't have bigger parties it's ok. Just be yourself.

[Kwothe28]

You didnt invite her. So, dunno why you expected to be invited by her?

One of my friends(we dont hang that much) has a birthday 13 days before me. He invited some of our friends but not me. So I didnt invite him as well. He did invite me this year so I did invite him as well to my birthday. Its that simple. If you didnt invited her at your birthday why do you even expect she will invite you? She has no obligation to do that. And you are just being jelly because everybody else is going. 

Anyway, you are in the wrong. Dont pout out over it and act normal. If you want to be invited next time then maybe you invite her first.

[Cherylyn]

Take the high road.  Should you cross paths with her in the future,  say,  "Happy Belated Birthday" and leave it at that.  Have good manners,  grace and class.  Both of you don't have to be friends and get chummy.  Both of you have every right to invite and whom not to invite for your birthday celebrations.  However, since you share mutual social circles,  act natural,  be kind but it's fine to maintain a safe distance.  Remain civil. 

[Batya33]

I think it's fine she didn't invite you. I know your party was small but she may not have known all the details.

[MissCanuck]

I don’t think you can expect to be invited when you didn’t invite her. 

This one is on you. 

[Big Stan]

Any relationship is the sum of the actions of the parties within it.  You decided to forgo inviting this person to your party, so you should expect to be treated the same way.  You set the standard for the level of friends you are with the person in question. 

[goddess]

On 5/25/2023 at 6:29 PM, Cherylyn said:

Take the high road.  Should you cross paths with her in the future,  say,  "Happy Belated Birthday" and leave it at that.  Have good manners,  grace and class.  Both of you don't have to be friends and get chummy.  Both of you have every right to invite and whom not to invite for your birthday celebrations.  However, since you share mutual social circles,  act natural,  be kind but it's fine to maintain a safe distance.  Remain civil. 

Beautifully said, Cherylyn!  I fully agree.

[Capricorn3]

On 5/26/2023 at 7:27 AM, asddd said:

 i knew then that doing that means that probably other people wont invite me to their parties but i didnt care at that time.

but a few days ago i heard that one girl that i know (and didnt invite) is also having a birthday party and she invited all my friends except me (she’s making a party for like 30 people). at first i felt really bad about it, i felt excluded and that nobody likes me. but later i thought that maybe its because i didnt invite her.

^ The way you felt excluded not being invited to her birthday party, she probably felt the same way not being included in your birthday party. She has feelings too, felt left out, ignored and that you don't like her.  This one is on you.

Next time you see her, be courteous and wish her a belated birthday.