Am I trippin’? Yeah, but why?

[jul-els]

Hello all, a little background first; since being laid off in late 2020 from my job of the past 20 years, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do next. I somewhat quickly got another job, stayed for a year, didn’t like it, and left. 
 

I then had an honest heart to heart with myself, what do I want to do now? Something I always had a desire to do but always thought it was just a crazy pipe dream was to become a massage therapist. So, after some soul searching I decided to take the leap. It’s a complete shift for me, completely unrelated to any of my previous work experience. Not to mention it’s the first time I’ve set foot in a school since I left high school in 1985 lol.

So, here’s the scoop, I’m halfway through my courses and doing very well. Im excelling at this and I love it. I was voted into a leadership position amongst my classmates, have been the only one in my class so far to receive a letter of excellence, and I was asked by the school if I’d like to tutor some of the other students and they’d pay me for it. I’m very happy about all of this and can’t wait to get out in the field and start working at my new career. 
 

But there’s something very minor and it’s really bugging me and I don’t know why. It’s going to sound petty and it probably is. Every morning, I’m the first one to show up for class. I walk in the door and say good morning to the teacher and every morning he gives me a very unenthusiastic good morning. He doesn’t make eye contact, and the tone of his voice is one of dread, not one of welcoming. It feels to me more like, “I wish you wouldn’t walk into the classroom early every morning”. It kinda starts my day off on a sour note and it’s starting to get under my skin just a little bit. How do I let this go? I know the answer to this is just let it go, but your advice is appreciated. Thank you. :)

[Cherylyn]

Just act natural without being annoying.  Continue saying,  "Good morning"  without sounding overly enthusiastic.  It may not be the reason but some people are not morning people.  It takes them several hours before they grow acclimated to their day.  Some people are grumpy in the morning.  Some people don't sleep well.  You never know. 

Remain calm.  You do your part by remaining calm and respectful.  There is nothing more you can do. 

[jul-els]

Thank

5 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

Just act natural without being annoying.  Continue saying,  "Good morning"  without sounding overly enthusiastic.  It may not be the reason but some people are not morning people.  It takes them several hours before they grow acclimated to their day.  Some people are grumpy in the morning.  Some people don't sleep well.  You never know. 

Remain calm.  You do your part by remaining calm and respectful.  There is nothing more you can do. 

Thank you. That’s pretty much my thoughts on it too, or maybe he’s gathering his energy to prepare for class. I’ll never know. I guess that’s what’s bugging me. Oh well. Moving forward. 

[Cherylyn]

11 minutes ago, jul-els said:

Thank

Thank you. That’s pretty much my thoughts on it too, or maybe he’s gathering his energy to prepare for class. I’ll never know. I guess that’s what’s bugging me. Oh well. Moving forward. 

Don't take it personally @jul-els.  Congratulations on your endeavors.  You will be fine.  People are grouches.  A lot of them have their own troubles which you don't know about yet they'll take their frustrations out on anyone who's fair game.  It's the way of the world. 

[Cherylyn]

18 minutes ago, jul-els said:

Thank

Thank you. That’s pretty much my thoughts on it too, or maybe he’s gathering his energy to prepare for class. I’ll never know. I guess that’s what’s bugging me. Oh well. Moving forward. 

I agree @jul-els.  Perhaps he's focused on his curriculum for the day and feels that greeting you is a distraction.  Grow accustomed to rude people.  This is how many people in society are which is nothing new.  🙄

Continue being well mannered though.  Get it over and done with and then focus on yourself. 

[jul-els]

Thank you. Yes, I’ve already got two job offers and I’m excited to start working. Just four more months to go. 🙂

[Cherylyn]

Just now, jul-els said:

Thank you. Yes, I’ve already got two job offers and I’m excited to start working. Just four more months to go. 🙂

4 months will fly by especially because you enjoy what you do.  ☺️

[jul-els]

Just now, Cherylyn said:

4 months will fly by especially because you enjoy what you do.  ☺️

This is true! 

[Seraphim]

I am not a morning person at all , like zero. Maybe he is like me and it feels like an assault on the senses when someone is “ bright and cheery” and in your space too early . 

[Cherylyn]

Just now, Seraphim said:

I am not a morning person at all , like zero. Maybe he is like me and it feels like an assault on the senses when someone is “ bright and cheery” and in your space to early . 

Ha!  You wouldn't like me @Seraphim ! I'm bright and cheery before the roosters wake up!  I'm very much a morning person.  I'm not the one to ever sleep in.  Rise and shine,  up and Adam! 

I'm not a night owl.  I'm drowsy towards the end of dinnertime and I'm ready to sleep.  😵 😌 🌙💤

[Seraphim]

So it is mostly likely not you , it is their sense of needing quiet in the morning. I know for me people invading my space and talking to me before my brain is firing on all cylinders is guaranteed to make me cranky and make my day a bad day. 
 

Maybe try going into class a bit later . 

[Cherylyn]

I wouldn't alter your schedule based upon moods.  Greet nicely without excessive enthusiasm and you have every right to be there @jul-els.  Just dial it down and do your own thing.  You can't make everybody happy all of the time.  There are a lot of grumps out there.  No harm no foul.  If your instructor is a grouch,  that's on him and his problem, not yours.

[jul-els]

I’m a morning person, but I’m definitely not bright and cheery. Lol! But I am pleasant and respectful. And I’m a go getter. I don’t really care about having fun in class. I want to work and to learn. But I’m nice enough to be around. But, it’s probably not about me. I will keep showing up early every morning because that’s just me, that’s what I do. I just gotta meet him where he’s at and be respectful and enjoy my day. 

[Cherylyn]

Just continue what you're doing with your pleasant greeting and if he's a grouch,  oh well. 🙄 Proceed with the class and your day.  He's just being sour and nothing is surprising.  Expect the worst in people so you won't be taken aback.  Whenever they're pleasant,  be glad but don't anticipate people to be consistently cordial nor on their best behavior.  This is how society is.  No shock factor there.  Grow accustomed to it and you will be fine. 

[Kwothe28]

What do you want him to do? To say: Good Morning! WooHoo!?

You are "seeking a hair in an egg" kinda thing. Meaning that you have a good thing going now and now going out of the way to find a bad thing with "OMG he didnt said more enthusiastically good morning to me, now my day is ruined". Its a very minor thing and doesnt affect anything. Dont take it so seriously.

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, jul-els said:

 maybe he’s gathering his energy to prepare for class. 

Agree with the theory that the instructor enjoys a few minutes before class begins. Show up when the rest of the crowd does . Don't take it personally.

[jul-els]

2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

What do you want him to do? To say: Good Morning! WooHoo!?

You are "seeking a hair in an egg" kinda thing. Meaning that you have a good thing going now and now going out of the way to find a bad thing with "OMG he didnt said more enthusiastically good morning to me, now my day is ruined". Its a very minor thing and doesnt affect anything. Dont take it so seriously.

No, I just find it annoying and I felt like venting. That’s all. But, since you mention it, there is another issue I’m taking somewhat seriously. Our curriculum is divided into two segments. At the end of each segment, half of the class graduates and a new group of people come in to replace them. We are at the halfway point and have just received our new group of students. 
 

There’s one of these new people I’m a little concerned about. Turns out he’s homeless. And he smells really bad. I mean it’s really strong. I haven’t had any interaction with him yet, but he sits off far from the rest of the group. The odor coming from his body is strong enough that I can smell it from several feet away. How am I or anyone else supposed to give a massage to this person? I don’t know how I’m going to handle it. I can’t get closer than six or seven feet from him. The smell is too strong. 

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, jul-els said:

 . It feels to me more like, “I wish you wouldn’t walk into the classroom early every morning”. 

Show up when everyone else does if you feel your early arrival is annoying the instructor.  As far as the homeless guy, just keep your distance. 

[Jibralta]

1 hour ago, jul-els said:

How am I or anyone else supposed to give a massage to this person? I don’t know how I’m going to handle it. I can’t get closer than six or seven feet from him. The smell is too strong. 

You should ask you teacher how to handle it. Something like this will certainly come up again in the future. Maybe not a homeless person, per se, but you are sure to experience many different levels and standards of personal hygiene as a massage therapist. 

[jul-els]

Just now, Jibralta said:

You should ask you teacher how to handle it. Something like this will certainly come up again in the future. Maybe not a homeless person, per se, but you are sure to experience many different levels and standards of personal hygiene as a massage therapist. 

Yeah, this is bad. Keeping my distance isn’t an option unless I refuse to work on him, which I might have to do. I’d feel bad about it, but it’s a personal hygiene/safety issue. I’ll ask my teacher about it. 

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I am not a morning person at all , like zero. Maybe he is like me and it feels like an assault on the senses when someone is “ bright and cheery” and in your space too early . 

Same.  My friend by the way was always good at massages (yes G-rated!!) and did a career change from full time mom of 4 to massage therapy plus full time mom of - maybe two still in the home post-divorce.  She has quite a following and loves it.  Good luck.

This teacher likely has very little quiet or me time.  I actually get up ridiculously early morning to grab me time and workout time pre-teenager and husband getting up.  Once in a blue moon son who I love gets up earlier than expected and he knows to not interact much pre-coffee LOL.  I've become highly sensitive to me time since becoming a parent and then the pandemic with all the togetherness with virtual school in an apartment.  Please don't take it personally -can you hang in the hallway until it's actually time to enter or enter really really quietly??

[Kwothe28]

4 hours ago, jul-els said:

No, I just find it annoying and I felt like venting.

That is OK, but again its a minor inconvinience at best. It isnt something that should ruin your day.

"Smell" is a bigger issue. Are you required to massage him or can you just skip it somehow?

[boltnrun]

Poor guy if he is indeed homeless. He's probably trying to improve his situation by going to school so he can support himself. 

I would bring a mask with you at all times and if you are assigned to work on him, put on the mask and explain you're using it for personal health reasons. And yes, talk to the instructor. Maybe the instructor knows about resources the student can use. 

[Seraphim]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

Poor guy if he is indeed homeless. He's probably trying to improve his situation by going to school so he can support himself. 

I would bring a mask with you at all times and if you are assigned to work on him, put on the mask and explain you're using it for personal health reasons. And yes, talk to the instructor. Maybe the instructor knows about resources the student can use. 

I agree, he is trying to better his life and this is an awesome thing. 

[Cherylyn]

As for the homeless guy,  ask your instructor regarding massages,  odor and unsanitary conditions.  There must be protocol regarding this and a health code.  Mask is a good idea and wear gloves.  Protect yourself for health reasons.  Some skin conditions or lesions are contagious.  Then you have to think of possible lice which can hop from person to person.