Big-Fennel3632 Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 I will try to give as much detail as possible for the situation I am in as I know that may help people when trying to give advice. I am 24 (M) and so far in my life I have just tried to focus on myself, my studies, my career. I felt a few months ago that I am now in a comfortable position and its now time to pursue a relationship. For years there has always been this person that I have had feelings for 23 (F), I have known and been friends with her for almost 15 years. We grew up together, went to school together and even worked together at one point a few years back. When we were working together we got closer as friends, either talking or texting everyday. Just before all the lockdowns and restrictions happened in 2020 for the Covid situation the company we worked for was sold and a large amount of the staff including me and her left our jobs. I ended up losing contact with her as she moved away to a different town to be with her family, I was also dealing with health issues at the time. Over the last 2.5 years I regreted losing contact with her as I felt we had a good connection and its worth giving it a go to try for something. I decided to find her again on social media and message her and it we instantly hit it off. For the last 3 weeks we have been either texting, snapchatting or in calls, I have also driven out of town twice to hangout with her. Now there is a huge issue that has totally stumped.. I came into this with the goal of reconnecting and letting her know I have feelings for her. But due to what I am going to explain, I have no idea what to do now.. Since we reconnected, she has been catching me up on everything that has happened over the last 2.5 years and well she has been through alot. She has been in a relationship in which she endured some physical abuse which is now being dealt with in court. She then went into a relationship with another guy that was more mentally abusive, making her feel worthless and has dropped her self esteem. She has also lost close family members recently aswell along with relationships with her family being fractured at the moment. All of this has left her in quite a vunerable and lonley state, she told me that she is in a healing process and is going to therapy to deal with all of this and has been keeping me updated. The therapist has suggested her not dating for a while until as it could lead her back into something abusive. She also mentioned to me that she has experienced alot of love-boming int the past from these types of men and that its not a good sign so I have decided to stop texting her everyday and trying to be help fix any issues she is having because I know everyone needs space and I dont want her to feel uncomfortable. Now learning all of this has put me in an tricky situation, I dont want to be selfish and disrespectful by telling her how I feel about her while she is in this situation. But am also worried that I either miss my chance or lose contact again. I also know I am in the friend-zone, but that does not faze me as I have been in the friend-zone for so many years because until now I have never intended on letting her know my true feelings towards her. If anyone has any advice on what I should do, it would be appreciated. Next time we hang out should I let her know how I feel about her and tell her that when she is feeling up to it and getting herself back out there I would like the opportunity to date her? Or should I continue doing what I am doing and be there for her and hold off on telling her? Thanks. Quote Link to comment
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