If a guy says “I’ll get back to you” is he not interested?

[lilypad006]

I’ve been seeing this guy for the past few weeks and have been having a great time with him. The last time I saw him we went to his place and talked for hours and realized we have a lot in common. The last time I saw him we also slept together. He asked me to stay the night after and we stayed up all night cuddling and talking. It seemed so natural.  Before I left the next morning, he asked me my schedule and then said, “let me know when you’re free for next weekend. I’m not sure what I’m doing next weekend though.” Later that day he asked if I got home ok and said he had a fun time. 

So 2 days later I tell him I’m free for Saturday and he goes, “I’ll get back to you about Saturday. Still seeing if I’m free on Saturday. I’ll update.” 

Should I take this as a rejection? How long do I wait for him to get back?

 

[Coily]

It’s not sounding great. Has he prior to this been as non-comital about getting together? Or is this a new wrinkle post sex?

Part of me wants to say this guy got what he wanted and has moved on. So waste no more time.

the other part I would encourage patience for another day or two. That said, you should ask some questions about what sort of thing he is up to. If it meshes with what you know then wait and see, if not time to pull the plug.

He could be left hanging by friends, or toying with you. I know many will jump the gun to the later; but I think you should look into this the. Make a decision with more facts.

 

as far as how long? Maybe Thursday after work hours; if there’s still silence it’s time to let go.

[kctiger]

Just relax and see where this goes. Try not to get into the habit of reading tea leaves in these situations. If he doesn't get back to you by Thursday or Friday, then yes, I think it may be safe to assume he got what he wanted and has no interest in a relationship. But try not to stress too much in these situations, it destroys the excitement and thrill of a new, blossoming relationship. Guys are encouraged not to seem overly needy and available, so he may just be playing it cool to keep you on your toes. Or he may really be busy and is trying to iron out plans. Again, take a deep breath and remain calm. 

[DarkCh0c0]

Did you text him again and check if he's up to meet this week?

If you did/do so and he's all "I'm busy" or "I don't know", then it's possible he got what he wanted and it's over for him. Another possibility is that he didn't find chemistry/ compatibility under the sheets. Who knows...

In all cases, don't let him jerk you around. If he's making excuses, then it's time to excuse yourself too out of this.

[Jaunty]

It seems that you aren't a high priority.

[Kwothe28]

It seems like a classic case of somebody who just wanted sex. Since his "mission" is done, he is fizzling out. If it is that, dont feel bad, it happens. 

But, wait for a few days and see if he confirms for a date. Give the benefit of a doubt for now, but know that it just might be what Ive said if he doesnt follow through.

[Cherylyn]

Sounds like he met his goal with his quick and fast conquest.  He's using you for sex.   In the future, don't be easy.

He's checking his schedule.  Give him time or move on.

[Batya33]

It's not about "guys" -this guy is not enthusiastic about seeing you again. And I wouldn't settle for being his afterthought/Plan C.  Unless a person is going out of town, gets sick or a close family member is sick, a person who wants to see you again will make sure to make a plan in advance even two weeks in advance or more - because the last thing he wants is for you to get snapped up by someone else while he waits around for his "schedule".  Or at least "look I don't have my work schedule yet for next weekend -it will be either X or Y -I will know by Z-day and then we can confirm which day.  I can't wait to see you."

[smackie9]

He said he will get back to you. Wait and see. 

[MissCanuck]

He sounds lukewarm. 

I would give it a couple days and then make other plans if you've heard nothing. It doesn't appear he's overly keen to meet this weekend. 

[OldSoulPH]

As a guy, I can tell you that maturity levels vary drastically among men.  I personally could never have a physical relationship with a woman without major emotional attachment.  I have never been able to understand guys who claim they can do so and simply go on “insertion adventures” in order to add to their list of “conquests.”

That being said, reading your initial post,  I can’t say strongly one way or another what could be going through his mind.  Yes, there is a valid argument that he doesn’t want to come across as too needy or available, as many dating advice websites talk about how a woman’s interest will slowly die if she figures out the man too quickly.  However, because you have already slept together, that argument loses some relevance.

Just like with a woman, if a man wants to be with you, he will always make time for you no matter how busy he is.  In my history of relationships, I always made time every day to let the woman I was dating know how much she meant to me.  Some days it was just a good morning and good night text, other days much more, but always something.

I agree that his response is lukewarm, but it’s hard to tell why. He could have a demanding job and really not know his schedule or he could be losing interest, among many other possibilities.  If it were me and I truly wanted the relationship to continue, I would find other ways to express how I look forward to the next time we meet, even if I wasn’t sure if my schedule would allow on a particular day.  

But every guy thinks a little differently. 

I would give it a few more days (no later than Thursday) and wait to see what happens.
 

I’m happy to give unbiased objective advice from a man’s point of view whenever you need it.

[Wiseman2]

14 hours ago, lilypad006 said:

I’ve been seeing this guy for the past few weeks 

Sorry this is happening. At this stage, you are both still talking to and meeting others.  That's why he won't give you straight answers, he's put you in the backup-plan pile.

Unfortunately he has very low interest. Try to avoid in-house all-night dates this early on and before there is clear interest in you.

Don't wait around by the phone for if and when he might be free or get back to you. If he does, it's simply that he struck out elsewhere and wants a hookup.

Make plans with friends this weekend. Keep talking to and meeting men. This man is "meh" at best. Interested men don't say "I'll get back to you".

[tattoobunnie]

23 hours ago, lilypad006 said:

The last time I saw him we also slept together.

Yes, he got what he wanted.