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Getting to know someone via text


Guest Anonymous
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Guest Anonymous

So I met this guy on a dating app, and we got chatting, he asked for my number.

We spoke once on the phone & he texted the next morning saying he'd like to get to know me more! We are currently in different states due to the pandemic so cant meet.

We have continued texting and ask each other a lot of questions.

He reads my text earlier in the day and then gets back only by evening. The questions do need a bit of thinking & sharing + plus he asks me the next set of questions, so it'll be a few texts in one go.

But theres a huge time gap (sometimes 5-6 hours) before he gets back to me. He has hinted that he is quite busy at work but sometimes I wonder.

Is he still interested or Im not sure whats going on.

 

 

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I think taking a few hours to reply is totally normal for an adult who has a job. 

There is no way I'd be able to reply with anything substantial during my own workday. I wouldn't expect others to, either. 

You sound like you're on your phone a lot if 5 or 6 hours is a "huge" gap for you, but remember that others don't always have the same availability (or desire) to be on their phones all the time. Dial back your expectations a bit and try to keep some perspective. 

If he's replying and the messages are encouraging, it's fine. 

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Guest Anonymous
1 hour ago, Guest Anonymous said:

We are currently in different states 

Delete and block him. There's no possibility of meeting.

Anyone who contacts you long distance and can't or won't meet is a red flag 🚩.

For all you know it could be a scammer, catfish, someone in another relationship,etc. Do Not Give Out Personal Information!

The sooner you delete and block this entity and reset your dating app settings appropriately for distance the sooner you can find real life real men locally to date.

After exchanging a few messages, arrange to meet in person.

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Do you have a job that allows you to be on your phone all day, every day?  Maybe his job doesn't allow for him to be on his phone all day, every day.

Why can't you at least do a Facetime or video call after he gets off work?

And why don't you try to meet men who live in your area?

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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Why can't you at least do a Facetime or video call after he gets off work?

And why don't you try to meet men who live in your area?

Yep. Pandemic or no pandemic, you can't have a reasonable dating relationship with anyone who doesn't live within a reasonable dating radius.

I'd screen out anyone long distance--that's not practical--or safe.

THINK: How would you go about meeting a perfect stranger to check one another out? 

If it can't be over a quick cup of coffee in a safe public place where your friends and family know where you'll be, and you can't arrive separately and leave separately, then it's not a safe deal.

Meeting a total stranger in a hotel, his home or yours, or anywhere that you'll need to get into a car with him is often how people disappear.

Don't do it.

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What is the plan on meeting someday?  Why did you start talking to a guy in a different state?

Do you plan on moving there soon?

  This guy could be the one or he could be an inmate with limited phone privileges.

How about you suggest more phone calls and less texting.  It is lot easier to get to know someone with a real voice conversation don't you think?

Lost

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I would put off texting until it is time to make plans to meet within a week or two from the time you text. So ask him to text you when he thinks it's possible to meet- or you will -maybe plan in a few months you'll get back in touch?

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Is it the next state over as in the border is within ten minutes or the towns are less than an hour away or is this hours upon hours away across country? 

While chit chatting may be fun and a time pass, try to be more realistic about the logistics. If you can’t meet easily, forego the match. Delete.

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