Caught boyfriend leaving hearts under other woman’s Instagram photo

[Lambert]

A like doesn’t bother me as much as the heart comment. It’s virtual flirting to me. I’m having a really hard time getting over it.

Then that's your answer.

 

I personally would not like this. I find it really hard to respect a guy that has a girfriend but he's acting like he doesn't. If you are taken then you treat your partner with respect and not act like a pig.

 

Like what's next? messaging someone and claiming he just wants to be friends... see his actions for what they are.

 

I'd end it. its hard though... I understand...

[bluecastle]

I told him I wanted to end things with him. He didn’t even put up a fight for me. Ok I guess I made the right choice

 

Are you saying that, if he "fought for you," it would have been a sign that you're meant to be together? Wouldn't have changed the fact that he left a heart under booty shot. Dealbreakers and drama are two different things.

 

I say that because, along with others, I think it's worth asking if you're in the right headspace to connect rather than basing connections on whether or not someone can pass a series of tests. Searching through someone's friends? That is testing, passively. Breaking up to see if he will "fight for me" is a passive aggressive test.

 

Whatever judgements we can pass on this guy for his social media proclivities—and it is 100 percent okay to judge him as not being right for you, would be right there with you—what he showed you in "not fighting" is basic respect for your truth and lack of interest in drama. That is what you want, not just inside a relationship but in general. But you have to understand your truth as something that exists on its own first, not something that is either polished or tarnished by people you come into your life for brief moments.

 

If you're trying to see if "bad boys" will turn "good" for you, and gauging your own goodness by those metrics, the business of romance is going to be fraught, punishing even when it's going well. It gets built around the inherent premise that boys are bad for you, but that you can't feel good without them, and reinforcing that premise in who you choose and how you test those choices.

[smackie9]

The breakup happened for the right reasons...yer OK he is not.

[mayflower165]

Thanks everyone.. I believe I made the right decision by letting him go rather than finding out these things much later

[Batya33]

Oh I encountered a number of bad apples but i wouldn’t have been comfortable in an exclusive serious relationship if I felt like I needed to check up on him or snoop.

[pippy longstocking]

Well if it isn't Pippy Long socks..lol...long time no see. :)

 

hahaha yes it is taking ages to try and get anywhere on the internet ..but I am crawling my way through

[boltnrun]

That's why it's a good idea to wait longer than a month before deciding to commit to someone. In 30 days you barely know him.

 

If you do your vetting process before committing your chances are better of avoiding these situations.