Wiseman2 Posted January 5, 2020 Share Posted January 5, 2020 Sorry all this happened. Perhaps view this as a fresh start and a chance to stop dating men like this. Cheaters, quitters, liars, etc. This guy is almost as bad as the last one. My past relationship was emotionally and in the end physically abusive. he was my boss and had a girlfriend His last 5 relationships have all been with people he has met at work and he has gone from relationship to relationship. he’s used to leaving when there’s problems. Link to comment
Moonhobbit9 Posted January 5, 2020 Author Share Posted January 5, 2020 Well I messaged him and I got my answer...we are over 💔 Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 5, 2020 Share Posted January 5, 2020 Sorry to hear this. At least you got a clear-cut answer. Now you can move forward and find a much better guy than someone who cheats, lies, makes excuses and is never in with both feet or out with both feet. Who needs that nonsense?Well I messaged him and I got my answer...we are over 💔 Link to comment
Moonhobbit9 Posted January 5, 2020 Author Share Posted January 5, 2020 He said he thought the time apart would make him miss me and it didn’t and he knew then there wasn’t a future for us. He said he realises he’s relied on all his girlfriends and the past few weeks he’s started actually being an adult as hasn’t had me to rely on. He said my behaviours contributed a bit to the situation but in the whole said he just knew once he had something in his head that was it and couldn’t change it and there was no point trying to make it work cause he isn’t want to. Link to comment
Moonhobbit9 Posted January 5, 2020 Author Share Posted January 5, 2020 Thank you very much to all who have posted over the past few weeks. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted January 5, 2020 Share Posted January 5, 2020 I started a new job last July and that’s where I met my boyfriend... His last 5 relationships have all been with people he has met at work and he has gone from relationship to relationship. OP, past actions are a good predictor of future ones. He'll probably have another 6 month relationship.. and another. That looks to be how he rolls, from your description. By the way, if you don't want to be with a man who likes a couple of beers after work, then - sorry to be blunt - don't start dating one. You can't change people, so best not to try to alter someones behaviors to something you would be more compatible with. Anyway, lose his number,, be civil if you cross paths at work, put his key in an envelope and leave it at work for him, go to the gym, get into some new activities and go forward. You'll be OK. Link to comment
Moonhobbit9 Posted January 6, 2020 Author Share Posted January 6, 2020 Thank you. I didn’t have a problem with it, it was mentioned and I recognised I was concerned for his health in the long run, sorry if that was miscommunicated. This was never a major factor I just addressed it as it came up in the thread but it was never a problem in the relationship. Not gong to lie it’s painful to hear someone say they used to see a future with you and now they don’t but yes I know it’s not beneficial to wallow in it. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 This is why asking for 'closure' from someone like this has downsides. Someone like this guy, who goes through women like socks will blame everyone but himself. People like this guy never take responsibility for their actions. That's why he chose the coward's way out in the first place and tiptoed out the back door rather than be straight about it being over. Ignore his remarks. it’s painful to hear someone say they used to see a future with you and now they don’t Link to comment
Moonhobbit9 Posted February 2, 2020 Author Share Posted February 2, 2020 I’m really struggling at the moment. It’s been 8 weeks since I first posted about my break and 4 since my ex told me it was really over. A mutual friend is a dj and often puts live videos up when he’s doing a set. I clicked on one of his videos and a few moments in my ex appeared in the video with a woman who I’m sure he works with, shaking the dJs hand and taking to him. My ex kept looking at his phone then off into the club like he was looking for someone then a minute in he waves then a girl comes and joins them and he kisses her. I literally watch 5/6 minutes of them talking him pulling her close, him pointing at the camera and then all laughing, the mutual friend face palming his hand and shaking his head the woman he works with talking to the girl again pointing at the camera and laughing and putting her glass up in the direction. The mutual friend wouldn’t have know we had broke up and I literally feel like he was telling him and pointing to the phone basically saying I will probably have seen all of this. And after my ex saying he was finally getting his independence and realising he had jumped from relationship to relationship was a big reason we couldn’t work on things he’s now seemingly seeing another girl just 4 weeks after we officially broke up and I feel like they were all laughing about it and I’m heartbroken all over again. To make things worse, not related but more weighting on my mind, my ex from almost 2 years ago whom I was in a toxic relationship has suddenly over the last few days tried contacting me. He’s blocked on everything so he’s messaged on a friends account, messaged one of my friend and then I have just seen in my filtered messages one from a new account he’s made. I am due to go to the area he used to work in 9 weeks for a friends wedding and I’m dreading it now incase he’s there and tries to approach me but I have literally just paid £300 for flights. I’m ignoring it all but I don’t understand why now after so long and when I’m already dealing with this recent break up. It’s a lot to take in and I’m really upset and struggling. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 Please stop watching any videos involving mutual friends -it's just unnecessary and really unhealthy for you. I'm sorry you're feeling upset. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 You know for a fact this toxic ex is invited to the wedding and will for sure be attending? Why were you reading filtered messages? Are you hoping to hear from your ex? Link to comment
Moonhobbit9 Posted February 2, 2020 Author Share Posted February 2, 2020 The toxic ex will not be at the wedding no it’s just in the area he might be working in. Noooo I absolutely don’t want to hear from him. I was up all night as I couldn’t sleep with what I had seen in regards to me recent ex and this girl and just went on to them. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 The toxic ex will not be at the wedding no it’s just in the area he might be working in. Noooo I absolutely don’t want to hear from him. I was up all night as I couldn’t sleep with what I had seen in regards to me recent ex and this girl and just went on to them. So this is what my mother used to call "borrowing trouble". Why worry about possibly maybe you might, no matter how unlikely it is, run into this toxic ex? Why, when you're already anxious and feeling bad, would you go through filtered messages? We have to be our own best friends. Worrying about things that "might" happen does nothing but make you more anxious. Link to comment
Moonhobbit9 Posted February 8, 2020 Author Share Posted February 8, 2020 When writing this I think it was all getting on top of me. I’m actually not really bothered about seeing him, it was just part of everything was happening. Aside from that though which is minor I’m recalling struggling with the situation with my recent ex. I feel like I did the very day he broke up with me and I miss him terribly. I can’t help thinking why wasn’t I enough for him. The girl he was kissing in the video he works with. As previously described he has monkey branched in all 6 of his relationships and I’m sure the same has happened again but I can’t be angry with him and I can’t stop loving him and it’s so painful. Link to comment
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