confused as to why he has done this

[Rose Mosse]

(ex) BF asked to met when I was next free to have a conversation in person .... this was after I explained my POV and my frustration.

 

I said I wouldn't contact him until I saw him (possibly Friday, but my UTI has worsened and waiting on a GP appointment) and have stuck to my word.

 

Any advice on the meet? Anything that I should expect/what is the rationale behind him visiting do you think?

 

I clearly don't want to break up with him.

 

Make sure you go to it if you plan to go to it. Don't flake. If you are not sure with your UTI situation, be more mature about this and reschedule for next week especially if you're the one who's doing all the commuting.

 

Go into it with a clear head and don't be irritable or desperate (seek to get him back when he's a bad choice for you overall). Listen to what he says. HE requested it so be patient if you want to hear him out. Let HIM talk. Most individuals who request an in-person talk after a break up need to get things off their chest, more like catharsis and to be "heard". Keep in mind he may be in any state of mind: still angry at you, upset overall, in tears or very emotional, accusatory, argumentative, peaceful and cajoling (sweet talking). You may be looking for answers from him but he may be more confused than ever and not in good shape. Do not look for answers at this time. Answers will come in time (after the break up) when you have time on your own to process. You'll have to be patient and trust in yourself.

 

Be gracious about it but don't waffle about or pretend this is going to work when you're not sure about him overall. It's a good idea to think about what this person makes you feel and how this person adds to your life. If he is not adding much to your life, you should learn to separate your emotional connection from your rationale(whether the break up is for the best). When someone chooses to end a relationship, treat it seriously. That kind of rollercoaster shouldn't be appreciated especially if he's now changing his mind.

[catfeeder]

Unless my goal is to physically help someone move, I would not pick their moving weekend to visit.

 

So who's idea was this? If it was his, then he's a jerk for not curbing the additional activities, but if you told him that you would be accommodating to all of his business this particular weekend, then he may have acquiesced to your visit even while he resented you for it. So any complaint from you may have tipped the scales.

 

I dunno, it sounds like the whole deal was set up badly to get you both angry with the other.

[jeezrick]

Unless my goal is to physically help someone move, I would not pick their moving weekend to visit.

 

So who's idea was this? If it was his, then he's a jerk for not curbing the additional activities, but if you told him that you would be accommodating to all of his business this particular weekend, then he may have acquiesced to your visit even while he resented you for it. So any complaint from you may have tipped the scales.

 

I dunno, it sounds like the whole deal was set up badly to get you both angry with the other.

 

 

We see each other every weekend. He confirmed that I should travel down to him that weekend - I asked him if he needed time alone - he said no.

[boltnrun]

We see each other every weekend. He confirmed that I should travel down to him that weekend - I asked him if he needed time alone - he said no.

 

Why did you have to pay for the hotel room?

[jeezrick]

Why did you have to pay for the hotel room?

 

He always pays, so I offered to pay this time

[Wiseman2]

Why not make your own decisions? Don't you have a say in the relationship?

He confirmed that I should travel down to him that weekend - I asked him if he needed time alone - he said no.