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About jeezrick

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  1. Thank you wiseman - that's the kind of sense I needed knocked into me - appreciate it :)
  2. Hello, thanks for your reply. I honestly couldn't say what I wanted. I don't have anything to say to him, and the reaction I've been having is more a deep anxiety/physical dread more than anything. I guess in the last few months of NC, it's easy because he hasn't been a "real" thing. It sounds stupid, but whenever I have cut off exes in the past, I have only been able to move on by pretending that I never knew them, that they are a stranger. Now I have seen him "do" something (sounds stupid to even write that) - I feel like he's become him again - does that make sense? It's not that I
  3. I have written about my ex before, we ended in October last year, stopped seeing each in February and I went NC then. He blocked me on everything, but unblocked my Whatsapp to send a Valentines day text, which I ignored. I text him in March when lockdown was announced to make sure he was okay (lives alone and vulnerable) - he replied all fine. It was literally just a "clear the conscience" type of thing - I will never not be an uncaring person, and despite everything he did if he really needed someone in his hour of need and/or he was admitted to the hospital, I would really want him to kno
  4. My family obviously tell me to stay away from him. I was referring to the part where a PP said that I should "leave him alone". In the UK, that's an expression which suggests that I am harassing him. Whilst it's true we are in contact, it is reciprocal and usually driven by him. Despite what I post on here (and how pathetic I sound), I don't express any desire/missing him/affection to him or over social media. The advice has been taken though, and this morning I blocked him and deleted his contact details on everything. Hopefully I can start the new year afresh
  5. I don't worry about what the song meant - 1 hour after dropping me off after spending the night with me, posting a song with the lyrics "Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain't nobody need you like I do I know that there's others that deserve you But my darling, I am still in love with you" Is obviously directed at me. That's not healing. It's also not healing/not hurtful to tell your ex who you broke up with, that you are "so depressed" and "Unable to get over this" when that partner hasn't really done anything wrong. Fair enough the breakup was circumstantial, but I would hav
  6. I do not have over-anxious thought patterns, and I have never expressed disappointment in him - where did you get that from?
  7. Okay so I checked his Instagram story 1 hour after he dropped me home and that Ed Sheeran song was his story? Not like I am jumping to conclusions here, I do think that was aimed at me.
  8. Ive posted about this man before. We met up over the weekend. Acted like a couple. He told me: He found it difficult to reply to my texts after the breakup as he would go to work, come home and get into bed to sleep, for like a month, because he felt too low to interact He did not see his friends for three weeks after the breakup, and his family had a welfare call to his house. He stopped doing his hobby (exercise-based) which was good for his mental health. He started smoking weed daily after the breakup He started smoking cigarettes (he has asthma and heart problems) He
  9. I guess it's because I keep questioning - was it me? Was I demanding? Annoying? He told me he had to run around to build a life for us, and that even when he was sorting everything out, I was being selfish - maybe I was? A friend recently told me that the common denominator in all of this - is me and that all men aren't bad. My anxiety makes people feel on edge, I get that. I am always "a catch" when a man first meets me. I guess you would say I was classically attractive, well-educated and ambitious. But peel it all back and I am a mess of bad experiences - "black" moods which I spira
  10. My ex broke up with me nearly 2 months ago for unclear reasons - I've posted before. But basically, it was along the lines of: I waited for him in a coffee shop and got annoyed when he was 45 minutes late back from a run when I had paid to come and see him that weekend (we were LDR) so I sent him a moody text saying "don't you think this is mean?" He then broke up with me on the car journey home, called me selfish and blanked me for 5 days. Eventually he called me and said he had "overreacted" and that he had thought I was trying to change his life and it panicked him. I was confused and s
  11. My boyfriend and started dating 4 months ago. 3 months ago we became official. We are both in our 20s. It is a really nice and unexpected relationship, the only time I have done "dating" properly. We spent every date talking and building an amazing connection, he was respectful and interesting and we listened to each other for hours talking about values and childhood bla bla bla. I fell pretty hard for him. He lived an hour away from me, so we would spend at least one day at the weekend (but usually the whole weekend) together. It just happened so fairytale (the only way I can describe
  12. That is what upsets me, I know he has a tonne of issues, and that makes me feel sorry for him. When he calls me manipulative for complaining about a small issue, it makes me feel like he is punishing me. I can't deal with the silent treatment, it's given me anxiety all week. But on the other hand, I understand why he does it - I genuinely don't think he can express his negative emotions.
  13. I have been with my boyfriend a few months. I adore him, he's like no one I've ever been with before. We are extremely similar in terms of what we like, our childhoods etc., we are just different cultures. We live an hour from one another so we are technically in a LDR. Anyway, things sort of played out like a "perfect" relationship when we were dating. We took it very slowly in terms of having sex (didn't have sex until 3 months into dating), but we would spend vast amounts of time together (our first date for example was 12 hours long!). We have connected on a very deep level - he has cri
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