Empof401 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 I need some advice. So after a 10 year relationship and 2 kids 27m 26f. Relationship was pretty good imo vacations, laughter good times. I got laid off last year was on unemployment and in school for a year during this time it was very stressful on the both of us I admit. I also admit I neglected her in some ways I wasn’t doing things around the house or helping with the kids as much as I could. All the signs were there, her attitude changed, she started going out all the time. As soon as I finished school and got on my feet she hit me with the “I need space to find myself, blah blah” she has been unhappy with herself, her job, her life for a while and I feel she’s projecting that too. Prior to the breakup I started finding pics of her and some dude and phone calls. 2 weeks later confirmed she is sleeping with him she says it got physical after but she definitely emotionally cheated. Lies on lies on lies. I know the love was real and I wasn’t the most faithful early on in the relationship. She tells me all these bread crumbs” I’m her soulmate,In the future.” I don’t think it’s going to last with her and this guy. I understand she cheated and has shown me she’s untrustworthy but a part of me does feel it was just the toll of this last year. I think I could forgive her. At first I was begging and pleading but now realize how pathetic that is considering the situation. I’m now in limited contact. She told me she fears losing me it’s like she doesn’t want me to move on. Later admitted she just needed to see what’s out there I don’t know if it’s gigs or what. She acts overly nice now that I’ve put my foot down and wished her the best. I don’t get it. My question is would you guys take someone back in this situation. She comes between my place,her sisters, and the rebounds. I really love this woman and we have 2 beautiful children. What are the chances of fixing things. It’s been 3 months now a lot of personal progress has been made I’m pretty neutral about things Update: we ended up drinking together and sleeping together. my curiousity got the best of me and I went through her phone and seen a bunch of things I shouldn’t have about her and the rebound among others. I ended up messaging rebound letting him know where I stand because I found out he was around my children. I know I shouldn’t have. She was very upset saying I ruined things between them(which I doubt) I’m the core of most of their convos. Also understand that I understand I shouldn’t be waiting and focus on moving on which I am. I know that since she cheated and left me for someone else I should have self respect l, dignity, value. I’m working on that I’ve realized my worth. Not ready to date yet but almost there. We have been together since high school she has had a decent amount of partners but I do see that the relationship got boring I couldn’t do as much because of my work/school situation She seems so obsessed with the rebound seeing him everyday so much to the point of neglecting her children. Is this normal? Is she in love? Is it the newness? Gigs? But my questions are •what are the chances of us getting back together we were together since high school and I feel like if the relationship was that bad she would have left a long time ago •should I believe in second chances? •She seems so obsessed with the rebound seeing him everyday so much to the point of neglecting her children. Is this normal? Is she in love? Is it the newness? Gigs? Will this fade it’s terrible to see how she swoons. * can you really get over someone you have children with? * Do these things make relationships stronger I feel deep down that it’s a test and that we will be back together(she also says the same thing but also says rebound may be something more). Or I may be delusional Link to comment
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