OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 Hi all, First time posting here but I really need help. I am totally lost. I knew a guy and he had a girlfriend at that time but I think he liked me. However, I left because I thought that I will be able to do it and that it was for the best. After 14 months of no contract I sent him this on social media and he blocked me (I am in such a pain!). "I do not know why I am doing this but I feel I need to. I think I was really in love with you. I do not understand that you can still think about someone after such a long time. I remember starting to be in pain everytime you were leaving so running away from you I thought at that time was the best option. The worst part was forgetting your voice because I did not want to. I cried when I read the story about your family health problems. No one ever looked at me the way you did. I think you are the most beautiful man I have ever seen with great character. I know I should not have written this but I want to move on and I think keeping this all keeps me away from forgetting and it is definitely the time. I forgive you for everything." Please tell me if that is the reason to block someone. Thank you! Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 The blocking was so traumatic for me! Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 I'm sorry he blocked you. I think what touched a nerve with him was the part where you wrote, "I forgive you for everything." A lot of people can't handle those words because they think they didn't do anything wrong and they think it's absurd that they need any forgiving in the first place. They become disgusted and it's off with your head! You can't trust those types of psychos. Also, some people don't like it when you or others become sentimental. It's easier to get rid of you permanently by ghosting or blocking you forever. It's a cruel cut but this is the dark side of human nature. I'm sorry for your pain. Even though it's hard for you to see this now, when some people rid of you so abruptly and in a mean spirited way, they're actually doing you a favor meaning you don't deserve certain hateful people. The silver lining is, one door closes and another door will open for you. Bad people fade away or disappear and new, better people will gradually enter your life. Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 You are so smart. Thank you so much. You allowed me to release so much pain. I cried so much now! Link to comment
Billie28 Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 I'm sorry he blocked you. I think what touched a nerve with him was the part where you wrote, "I forgive you for everything." A lot of people can't handle those words because they think they didn't do anything wrong and they think it's absurd that they need any forgiving in the first place. They become disgusted and it's off with your head! You can't trust those types of psychos. Also, some people don't like it when you or others become sentimental. It's easier to get rid of you permanently by ghosting or blocking you forever. It's a cruel cut but this is the dark side of human nature. I'm sorry for your pain. Even though it's hard for you to see this now, when some people rid of you so abruptly and in a mean spirited way, they're actually doing you a favor meaning you don't deserve certain hateful people. The silver lining is, one door closes and another door will open for you. Bad people fade away or disappear and new, better people will gradually enter your life. Did you read the same post I did???? She met a guy who had a gf. She “thought” he liked her. He wasn’t interested. He didn’t ghost her? And he didn’t ever contact her? She contacted him after 14 months of nothingness. I think you inadvertently called the OP a psycho? Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 Thank you but there is a lot of background story to this. Eg he took my number, he hated me for leaving and did something bad to punish me back than. The pain was all over his face when I was leaving and then later hate. 14 months because I could not forgive him for what he did and had to do it in order to move on. I think that he still is hating me. You do not block people when you are indifferent to them. We liked each other for 8 months. Link to comment
Billie28 Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 You are so smart. Thank you so much. You allowed me to release so much pain. I cried so much now! Did you ever date this guy? Kiss him? Have a relationship with him? It sounds from your thread that none of this happened? Why did you “think” he liked you? And what response did you hope to get from your apparent love letter saying after 14 months of no contact that you “think” you love him? Of course he was going to block you!!? I am baffled !!! Link to comment
Billie28 Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 You are so smart. Thank you so much. You allowed me to release so much pain. I cried so much now! Thank you but there is a lot of background story to this. Eg he took my number, he hated me for leaving and did something bad to punish me back than. The pain was all over his face when I was leaving and then later hate. 14 months because I could not forgive him for what he did and had to do it in order to move on. I think that he still is hating me. You do not block people when you are indifferent to them. We liked each other for 8 months. Sorry, but if you are going to be vague, no one can actually give advice. Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 but maybe you are right. Maybe he never liked me. Nothing was ever said. Link to comment
RedDress Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 Sorry... but I am not surprised he blocked you? It’s very jarring for someone you aren’t in a relationship with to confess their love to you. To confess a crush? Sure. To confess attraction? Sure. But “love”... I mean... different people have different definitions of love - but to me, it all comes off as fantasyland if you aren’t in a relationship. To further the “fantasyland” - you haven’t spoken to him in a year. And he has a girlfriend. And I’m not sure what you wanted him to say to you in your fantasy? Did you want him to confess his love to you too, break up with his girlfriend and for the two of you to gallop into the sunset? You didn’t leave room for reality in your response. Anything other than “omg! I love you too!” would have hurt you. You put him in a very awkward situation. I think he just didn’t know what to say... and the whole thing was weird to begin with... and he didn’t want to deal with it or get into a bunch of back-and-forth drama or rehashing of the past... so he just blocked you. It sounds reasonable to me... Usually when you haven’t spoken to someone in a year+ , you start with “hey, how’s it going” and work it from there. Instead, you lead with this very intense confession... which... I mean... I think it would turn most people off. Sounds like drama they didn’t ask for. Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 Thank you. I know but my feelings were bottled up for too long and I could not hold it anymore. I did it so suddenly without thinking. Now I think he never liked me and as you say that was only a fantasy. I do not care that he might think I am crazy, I needed to write that but did not expect being blocked - but this could be because there was never anything there and it was just my imagination. I am glad this fantasy is over. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 Yes, that is a reason to block someone. He has a girlfriend. Your contact with him was unwanted and, evidently, very unwelcome. I am not sure what your background is with him, since you are vague on the details, but your message here was overly emotional - especially after more than a year of no contact. Leave him be. Link to comment
ninjabib Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 Yes i agree. OP you had nothing with this guy. It never got off the ground. It probably freaked him out that you sent that letter. If i had received a letter like that from someone i wasn't in a relationship with after 14 months of no contact i'd have blocked you too. I understand writing that might have been a release but in future just write it out then tear it up. Never send things like this. Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 I was not expecting to be blocked but maybe just to be ignored. It was not that I was asking him to be with me but it was truly done to let me move on. I was not harassing him. It was just one email after 14 months. Being blocked was awful! Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 I also I could not let go because the way he changed after I decided to leave. I had to leave because he had a girlfriend. He was horrible to me. He was carrying when I was there but after I decided to leave he changed. Although he did ask my number later but never called. Link to comment
ninjabib Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 Yes but he doesn't know what your motive is. It was just inappropriate. Not the end of the world. Like i said if you need to get something off your chets in the future write it out BUT DO NOT SEND. Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 Apologies for multiple posts. And I gave him my number but he never called and I thought that that was also a punishment. Why do I think he punished me? Was that also my imagination? I also thought that being blocked is also a way of him punishing me. Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 Like someone said on here the blocking was done 'abruptly and in a mean spirited way' and that is exactly how he treated me after I decided to leave. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 Apologies for multiple posts. And I gave him my number but he never called and I thought that that was also a punishment. Why do I think he punished me? Was that also my imagination? I also thought that being blocked is also a way of him punishing me. He isn't punishing you. I don't see how you're arriving at that conclusion. He simply doesn't want to talk to you, and doesn't want to hear from you. Some girl sending him declarations of love is bizarre and interfering. I would block you too, as I would expect my boyfriend to block any woman who sent similar messages. Was he cheating on his girlfriend with you? And by cheating, I mean engaging in inappropriate conversation, being physically intimate, and so on. I can't understand if you two ever had anything more than platonic friendship that you completely misinterpreted. Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 I think I agree with the first post: 'Even though it's hard for you to see this now, when some people rid of you so abruptly and in a mean spirited way, they're actually doing you a favor meaning you don't deserve certain hateful people.' Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 Like someone said on here the blocking was done 'abruptly and in a mean spirited way' and that is exactly how he treated me after I decided to leave. How, by not calling you? Or? Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 There were sexual advantages and that is way I decided to leave. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 There were sexual advantages and that is way I decided to leave. I don't understand. Did you have sex with him? And then he didn't want to see you again after? Link to comment
OlaOlaOlaO Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 No, not by not calling but by being mean to me. Eg 'now that you are leaving you never really were my friend', or 'sorry I cannot help with small think like writing something for you', he did not come to say goodbye. And before I decided to leave he was like a puppy. He would call me 'my girl' and he would do anything to help me. Link to comment
ninjabib Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 OP you are not being very clear here. Itg reads me to like a bit of flirting that ended. That is all unless you shed more details. Link to comment
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