theostix Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 Well it happened. The thing i had been dreading, the breakup. We had spent a little over 2 years together, I thought she was the love of my life but alas here I am. We had been through so much together, her spending time in the hospital and me visiting every chance I got, my grandmothers death, her battle with anxiety and depression, job changes and financial anxiety, both finishing school. We had talked so much about the future about getting a place together and potentially getting engaged. She always used to joke about how cute our kids would be and how curly their hair would be. Now all of it is gone. I feel so empty. I'm not sad necessarily, just more empty, like a huge part of my life just got ripped away and I can't get it back no matter how hard I might want it. I knew there was a strain with the romantic part of our relationship at times and it never really got back to the place where we both wanted it, but man i'm going to miss her friendship. I'm going to miss talking to her and seeing her, i'm going to miss her family which I had more or less become a part of just like she had with mine. I'm going to miss her dog and the way we use to just lounge around and watch shows together. I'm going to miss all of the little things that we shared. I think the main part of my anxiety is and emptiness is knowing I will eventually have to move and and go through the dating process all over again. I know i will probably find someone new again and build something great but right now my mind is just racked with missing her. It's only been a few days and I know the healing process will take longer, much longer, and while part of me is happy that there is no bitterness or anger toward each other it just makes it worse getting over her. The fact that the last conversation we had before the breakup was happy and smiling and joking makes it all the more worse. I suppose I am just looking for good healing tips and ways to not sit around longing for the times we had. Especially when there is no bitterness or animosity, there is no "good im glad its over". I would like to keep her in my life to a degree but I know I can't handle that right now, so i've muted her on all social media, not blocked her, same with her phone number, let her know she can always reach out to me, but plan on going NC for a while here. Link to comment
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