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Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)


Seraphim
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Yesterday I had a medical emergency. My blood pressure hit 180/120 and I actually fell and hit the ground trying to get to the bathroom. I worked through my daycare day. It was horrible but as the day wore on my pressure went down. I made an appointment with my dr for blood pressure meds. My dad’s family has a horrible history of cardiovascular and blood pressure issues.

 

My dad is in the hospital again and needs to have assessment to go to a nursing home.

 

My mom had a hearing assessment done and has hearing loss and nerve damage . She needs hearing aids .

 

Can I throw myself in the lake yet ?

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All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town

I'll do it 'til the sun goes down and all through the night time

Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'll tell you what you wanna hear

Leave my sunglasses on while I shed a tear

It's never the right time, yeah, yeah

I put my armor on, show you how strong how I am

I put my armor on, I'll show you that I am

I'm unstoppable

I'm a Porsche with no brakes

I'm invincible

Yeah, I win every single game

I'm so powerful

I don't need batteries to play

I'm so confident, yeah, I'm unstoppable today

Unstoppable today, unstoppable today

Unstoppable today, I'm unstoppable today

Break down, only alone I will cry out now

You'll never see what's hiding out

Hiding out deep down, yeah, yeah

I know, I've heard that to let your feelings show

Is the only way to make friendships grow

But I'm too afraid now, yeah, yeah

I put my armor on, show you how strong how I am

I put my armor on, I'll show you that I am

I'm unstoppable

I'm a Porsche with no brakes

I'm invincible

Yeah, I win every single game

I'm so powerful

I don't need batteries to play

I'm so confident, yeah, I'm unstoppable today

Unstoppable today, unstoppable today

Unstoppable today, I'm unstoppable today

Unstoppable today, unstoppable today

Unstoppable today, I'm unstoppable today

I put my armor on, show you how strong how I am

I put my armor on, I'll show you that I am

I'm unstoppable

I'm a Porsche with no brakes

I'm invincible

Yeah, I win every single game

I'm so powerful

I don't need batteries to play

I'm so confident, yeah, I'm unstoppable today

Unstoppable today, unstoppable today

Unstoppable today, I'm unstoppable today

Unstoppable today, unstoppable today

Unstoppable today, I'm unstoppable today

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Christopher Braide / Sia Kate Furler

Unstoppable lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, BMG Rights Management

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Thank you.

I got a transponder for my vehicle so I can travel the toll highway to see my mom quite a bit. Every chance I get . I bought a journal for myself and a journal for my mom so that I can write happy memories of my mom and she can write happy memories of me and her . Or write down anything she wants me to know . But I can’t stop sobbing . I am sobbing or numb sobbing or numb .

Yikes! You have from all sides! You, your dad, and especially your mom! Prayers for healing and comfort for all of you. So sorry about your mom's diagnosis.
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I think I am processing a little more today . I did have to go to the dentist though which was a living hell . Had a filling replaced but while they were trying to trim down the filling for my bite apparently I bit my tongue about seven times which hurts like hell . I had just had enough when I got my car I threw my purse down and sat on the ground and cried .

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My brother told his kids about their Nana and they all broke down in tears. My son never discusses big emotions nor does my husband. It is a very difficult life as an empath with people who don’t communicate emotion. Or is it better for me?

 

My fav priest is moving onto another congregation and Parish . 😓 he really is the most gentle, sweet and compassionate person .

 

One of the wives came over to be with me for a bit on Sunday and she was saying with all of your bad luck recently she’s not sure maybe the universe is trying to tell me something . It’s trying to test how strong I really am.

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I only hope I can live up to being the roles my mom will want me to take up. I am not sure I can be the family matriarch. But as she said I taught you all that is important and all that I know before you left home . You will be fine. You know everything you need to know to do well.

 

She is one of two people who can “ handle “ me. I can be very passionate and exhausting. She said you sometimes overwhelm people, friends, just devour them up you have to dial back .

 

And the only other person that can handle me as ME is my husband .

 

I am going to close my business on my birthday which is on a Friday this year and head out after I close on the Thursday night and spend my birthday with my mom .

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