MissCanuck Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 OP, you need to slow way the heck down when you meet someone new. You seem to be getting high on the lust and ignoring common sense that would otherwise caution you from pursuing someone who isn't good for you. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 Yeah I could block him but last time I did he got really angry. I still feel a bit torn tbh. How did you find out he was angry if he was blocked, did he stalk you? You sound as though you may have a reason to be afraid of this guy. Do yourself a favor and take some protective measures. Contact your local woman's shelter and explain why you're concerned about being stalked and possibly harmed. They are experts in this stuff. They will give you a plan for protection and likely help with resources to help you carry it out. I'd also ask to speak with a counselor there. It sounds as though you dive in way to deeply waaay too quickly, and without paying attention to red flags. Do not allow contact from this guy. He's manipulated you before, and he's dangerous. Link to comment
smittenkittn Posted November 22, 2018 Author Share Posted November 22, 2018 I don't think he's dangerous, I definitely don't think I need to contact women's shelters or anything so dramatic!! He's just been going through some hard stuff and is a bit stressed that's all. He rang and said could he come see me last night, that there was some stuff he needed to talk to me about. And so I agreed and he came over, it was all very civil and he apologised for some of the stuff he'd said - it wasn't really bad stuff, more thoughtless and insensitive. And I apologised for not having been as supportive as I should have been. So I guess it's back on. And also I think, realistically, I'm better off talking to my real-life friends than seeking advice online - I'm seeing that many people automatically see situations from their own perspective. And well, truth is I'm gonna do whatever I feel like anyway, it's more fun than following "rules" about how I "should" act in relationships. And God knows I do break every single rule out there but I figure if a guy really likes you, they aren't gonna dump you for being too emotional, and besides they have to like you FOR YOU not for some cardboard cutout who plays it cool all the time. So thank you all.... Very much. I have enjoyed reading the boards and maybe ill still chime in from time to time with my own advice (which will usually be, take the risk and see what happens!!) but I think it's a waste of time for me to seek others advice, as I probably won't follow it anyway!! Thank you though Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 That's terrific news! So glad to hear that the guy has transformed himself into such a charmer in a one day. Yay! Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 That's terrific news! So glad to hear that the guy has transformed himself into such a charmer in a one day. Yay! Honestly I don’t really buy her story anyway. Her original post had nothing about all this abuse and then it comes out later and now it’s forgotten... Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 That’s awesome kitten, I’m sure this board can use your valuable advice like how to combat anxiety by putting makeup on! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 No. Tbh last night wasn't the first time I nearly broke up with him but each time he'd ring me up and bombard my phone til I changed my mind. And the broken heart emjois are coming through now. Which makes it really hard cos I don't like to see someone hurting especially someone I do care about but this is just toxic. Why didn't you block? All of this drama in such a short period. What attracts you to all of this. Most would have been done in a week. You move at higher speed and ignore glaring big red flags. Why? Oh goodness. You are going back for more of this. Hmmmm. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 That’s awesome kitten, I’m sure this board can use your valuable advice like how to combat anxiety by putting makeup on! lol........... Link to comment
smittenkittn Posted November 22, 2018 Author Share Posted November 22, 2018 Wow. The nastiness, cos what? Is there a way to request all my threads be deleted, BTW? Am struggling to find a function to do this. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 Is there a way to request all my threads be deleted, BTW? Am struggling to find a function to do this. We don't delete threads on request, but I can close this thread for you. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 Kitten, until you get to know yourself and what you really want, you will always struggle in relationships. You lack your own identity and attached yourself to this man without using any common sense. You're clearly backpedaling now that the advice given to you when you wanted to break up no longer holds water for you now that you want to go back to this person. This relationship won't last, but I have a feeling you won't learn anything from it either. Too bad; this could have been a big turning point for you. Link to comment
smittenkittn Posted November 22, 2018 Author Share Posted November 22, 2018 We don't delete threads on request, but I can close this thread for you. Is it possible to edit some of the identifying stuff in my posts at least? Eg family health issues etc. I don't want anyone who knows me to come across and recognise anything. Thank you! Link to comment
Jibralta Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 Honestly I don’t really buy her story anyway. Her original post had nothing about all this abuse and then it comes out later and now it’s forgotten... It doesn't cause me to disbelieve her. I've been guilty of the same thing--posting partial details and elaborating more as people responded. Someone actually called me a liar as a result! But I wasn't lying. Anyway, smittenkittn, this relationship sounds like a big dramafest. I'd be a million miles away at this point, but we all have our preferences. Link to comment
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