After years of informal child support, should I now get court-ordered support?

[j.man]

Joint custody never has and likely never will preclude child support obligations. Any claim or insinuation to the contrary is, as much as I try to avoid the term, problematic on a multitude of levels. Child support is about stability for the child, most definitely inclusive of a constant standard of living between households. Absent perhaps completely equal incomes, there's nothing about joint custody that would inherently respect that.

 

The entitlement to child support has nothing to do with the OP being a man. And it wouldn't mean anything if he were a woman. It is based on the child having presumably been born and raised into a standard of living offered in large part by the mother making however much double the OP's salary is.

 

Again, man or woman, don't bang someone who makes half your income if you're not able and willing to fork over the money to ensure your child retains the same consistent standard of living regardless of whether they're with you or your ex.

[Wiseman2]

Child support is for your kids and of course should be consistent. You'll have to ask an attorney how much is appropriate.

We split 50/50 custody of our two children

[catfeeder]

I'd seek legal advice from a qualified attorney for your location. Learn exactly what your options are along with the steps involved for each option. You may be able to set a legal agreement outside of court while keeping the next step of court enforcement behind you to collect without needing to go there.

[itsallgrand]

I do know how it works. We've previously based our child support agreement based on state guidelines. We just did a modified version so she wouldn't have to pay as much.

 

That's the first thing you should do then. Find out how it works. Get some legal guidance on your situation.

 

At the end of the day it doesn't matter what any of us think or feel about. If you want consistent child support, you are going to have to go by the laws where you live.

[boltnrun]

You don't have to pay $400 per hour for an attorney. I used a paralegal and it cost me only $500 total for the divorce, support and custody agreement.

 

I think you should get a legal agreement. And I disagree that you're being greedy or petty. The money is for the children, correct?

[mustlovedogs]

You don't have to pay $400 per hour for an attorney. I used a paralegal and it cost me only $500 total for the divorce, support and custody agreement.

 

I think you should get a legal agreement. And I disagree that you're being greedy or petty. The money is for the children, correct?

 

I think that’s a unique case. My old boss spend $35,000 in a custody disagreement.

 

It can go both ways and anytime courts are involved it can be costly. That’s all I’m saying.

[abitbroken]

I think that’s a unique case. My old boss spend $35,000 in a custody disagreement.

 

It can go both ways and anytime courts are involved it can be costly. That’s all I’m saying.

 

is it really worth going to court to get a little more a month or is it more worth it to take a course to get a promotion or pay bump at work? If she lets she is an executive or pediatrician makes $100,000 and you work in a factory at $35,000 --wouldn't you go to some classes so you can be a skilled tradesperson making $60 k or if you were kindergarten teacher, wouldn't you go for your special ed certification to make more money? That's all i am wondering.

[mustlovedogs]

is it really worth going to court to get a little more a month or is it more worth it to take a course to get a promotion or pay bump at work? If she lets she is an executive or pediatrician makes $100,000 and you work in a factory at $35,000 --wouldn't you go to some classes so you can be a skilled tradesperson making $60 k or if you were kindergarten teacher, wouldn't you go for your special ed certification to make more money? That's all i am wondering.

 

Is this directed at me? I don’t understand the point you’re making

[figureitout23]

It’s directed at the OPer MLD.

 

I don’t agree that simply because the OPer makes so much more than him he should be expected to get a higher paying job, the OPer has stated he has a steady job and a comfortable home.

 

Like many have stated it about giving the child a comparable life. The issue is though that I think many amateur law experts are forgetting is it doesn’t translate exactly into reality.

 

My ex pays child support, but the fact is my child does not even come close to living the life that my child lived when we had 2 incomes, it wouldn’t be feasible, he would have to give half his income for me to give my child the same life. The only situations this idea is slightly doable is with celebrities and even then those children aren’t living the same life commensurate to an extent, you add 50/50 custody on top of it...

 

I still think he needs to go to court, because this is clearly about more than the money and you can’t raise children where resentment and anger is thriving. The courts will decide what’s fair and they can be done with it. The risk of course is her going for more custody but hopefully she puts the children first and doesn’t bring things to that level.