Hollyj Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Actually we did spend a lot of time together because we were together every night after her work. But it was too soon as you put it. And don't need to apologize for being brutally honest. Sometimes things just need to be said. Gracias. De nada. You sound like a sweet guy. Even id you were together nightly, two weeks is nothing. Next time, please wait at least a year before moving in. As you can see, you did not know this woman. Also, she was no where ready ready to date. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 she had just come out of a manipulative relationship and I was there at the right time. No, you were there at the worst time. You positioned yourself as a rebound, and the results were predictable. I'd walk away and tell her that she's free to settle all her old business. She can contact you a few months after she's been free and clear of all involvement with her ex, and if you're still available then, you can meet to catch up. Meanwhile, I'd be in zero contact. Read up on rebounding. Link to comment
forthebest Posted September 17, 2018 Author Share Posted September 17, 2018 No, you were there at the worst time. You positioned yourself as a rebound, and the results were predictable. I'd walk away and tell her that she's free to settle all her old business. She can contact you a few months after she's been free and clear of all involvement with her ex, and if you're still available then, you can meet to catch up. Meanwhile, I'd be in zero contact. Read up on rebounding. Actually I have done 26 days of NC. As for unsettled business I think there are lots of them for her. I just found out that she has been staging me on social media, as in posting about someone else to make me jealous and pity her and think that she is having problems with her current ex (or boyfriend currently). Anyway, having gone through this whole unfortunate incident. I wish to thank all who have inputted their opionions; they have been terrific and you have helped a stranger and thank you from the bottom of a stranger's heart. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Sorry this happened. All in all it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Stay no contact and block and delete her from all messaging and social media. Link to comment
Jorge2 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Leave her. The combustibility of her relationship with her x-boyfriend will impact your relationship with her for as long as he wants it to be. He dominates her, she fears him, loves him and is afraid of hurting him, even though she knows it's not healthy being with him. I've seen this movie rerun, and logic isn't applicable. He's dominantly abusive, intimidates her, however she can't release the addiction of being with him and you're caught in the middle. Lastly, has it crossed your mind that YOU were the other man, and that she was with him all along and not vice versa? Give some thought to it. Link to comment
spunkmire Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 just run as far as you can Link to comment
forthebest Posted September 20, 2018 Author Share Posted September 20, 2018 Leave her. The combustibility of her relationship with her x-boyfriend will impact your relationship with her for as long as he wants it to be. He dominates her, she fears him, loves him and is afraid of hurting him, even though she knows it's not healthy being with him. I've seen this movie rerun, and logic isn't applicable. He's dominantly abusive, intimidates her, however she can't release the addiction of being with him and you're caught in the middle. Lastly, has it crossed your mind that YOU were the other man, and that she was with him all along and not vice versa? Give some thought to it. Actually, you hit the nail on the head. He has beaten her, scolded her, choked her and basically in my opinion borrowed money from her without any intentions of returning the funds. I have been thinking a lot and could not find any logic to her, and yours is a good insight. Thank you. I have looked at me being the third party. I mean I can reframe it in my mind that I was sleeping with her with no attachments but I really did care a lot about her. But thank you for pointing it out to me again. Link to comment
gohawks292 Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 You only dated two weeks, and then moved in together. Huge mistake. You should date someone at least a year before moving in. You didn't even know each other. Why would you move in together so quickly? She needed a place to go? You also do not get involved with people who are recently out of a long-term relationship. They have not had time to process the relationship. Your relationship never had a chance. Oh my gosh so true with me and my boyfriend (or soon to be ex???) We knew each other for two weeks and then we eloped to Texas and then we lived together ever since but we’ve been together for nine months now and we’re on the verge of a break up because we are still so Horrified from the past mistakes that we made earlier in the relationship we should’ve never moved on so quickly together. I still love him but I don’t know if he’s going home tonight so there you go [emoji2960][emoji26][emoji177] Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted November 6, 2019 Share Posted November 6, 2019 There are times when it is just bad timing and then there are times when it just isn't a good idea to get involved with someone. This wasn't bad timing, she is a mess and as has been pointed out so well attached to this guy in some very unhealthy ways. Enter you; Nice guy that has been watching her struggles and even possibly been a shoulder to cry on. What do us nice guys do? We have a soft spot for a damsel in distress and we think we will save them from the evil ex and sometimes from themselves. Change comes from hitting the bottom in some way and having that face plant moment where we tell ourselves "this is wrong and I need to get out of this cycle" You mentioned she has a lot of suitors. This tells me you are probably not the first guy sucked into this mess and you certainly will not be the last. She has little incentive to change either and why should she? There is the abusive ex she will return to over and over again and plenty of guys to catch her in between being with the ex. Be smart, ignore those instincts to save her and look out for yourself. There are a lot of broken people in the world and it isn't your job to fix them, no matter how cute they are... Lost Link to comment
gohawks292 Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 There are times when it is just bad timing and then there are times when it just isn't a good idea to get involved with someone. This wasn't bad timing, she is a mess and as has been pointed out so well attached to this guy in some very unhealthy ways. Enter you; Nice guy that has been watching her struggles and even possibly been a shoulder to cry on. What do us nice guys do? We have a soft spot for a damsel in distress and we think we will save them from the evil ex and sometimes from themselves. Change comes from hitting the bottom in some way and having that face plant moment where we tell ourselves "this is wrong and I need to get out of this cycle" You mentioned she has a lot of suitors. This tells me you are probably not the first guy sucked into this mess and you certainly will not be the last. She has little incentive to change either and why should she? There is the abusive ex she will return to over and over again and plenty of guys to catch her in between being with the ex. Be smart, ignore those instincts to save her and look out for yourself. There are a lot of broken people in the world and it isn't your job to fix them, no matter how cute they are... Lost Awww sounds like me :( Link to comment
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