I'm pregnant, my boyfriend wants to die

[Jibralta]

did he want to die the night he had unprotected sex with you?

 

lol!!!!!!!!

[superfan]

Dump him. The moment a man tries to make demands on your reproductive Rights, they cease to be a man worth respecting.

 

This guy is using emotional blackmail and manipulation on you to try to force you into something you're not comfortable with. I'm as pro choice as they come, but you've stated that your choice is to keep this child and nobody can tell you to do otherwise if that's what you want. It's YOUR body and YOUR choice.

 

If you're that worried he might hurt himself, call 911 after you tell him it's over and let them know he threatened to kill himself. Ultimately if he did, it would be HIS choice. Just like keeping your child is yours.

 

Good luck. Please don't let anyone force you to do anything you don't want to do. The fact that he's trying to make this all about him when you're the one who will ultimately see your body change, go through a pregnancy, etc tells you this guy is a selfish loser. You're better off without him.

[MissCanuck]

He is trying to guilt and manipulate you into terminating, OP. I would not stand for that.

 

If you want this baby, prepare to be a single mother. If he threatens to hurt himself, call emergency services in your area. Don't let him yank your chain like that. He sounds awful.

[itsallgrand]

I don't think I could carry a baby for 9 months and then hand him/her to someone else. Also very rarely is it sign the papers and done. The emotional turmoil, the guilt, the child wanting to meet you, knowing you have a blood relative in the world. I couldn't do it.

 

Then again, I know I couldn't so there's a barrier between semen and my ovaries at all times.

 

Sure, but isn't being a parent all about what's best for a child? Less so about what you want?

 

It's sad that this baby will have a father who does not want him/her. OP chose to roll the dice equally as her bf, taking a chance on bringing a baby into the world where the odds are heavily stacked that one parent would reject him/her and to be raised by a single parent.

 

I just think we've gone so far the other way now, under estimating the effects being raised this way can have on a child.

[Wiseman2]

Where is he from? Does he already have kids? How do you know each other? How old is he? How long have you lived together? Let him move out. It seems you are very incompatible. Make sure you read up on and/or see an attorney about parental rights, visitation/custody and child support. Can he afford this or does he just not want kids?

Yes, immediate family already reassured, whatever I decide they'll stand by me. So very lucky in that sense

[abitbroken]

Sure, but isn't being a parent all about what's best for a child? Less so about what you want?

 

It's sad that this baby will have a father who does not want him/her. OP chose to roll the dice equally as her bf, taking a chance on bringing a baby into the world where the odds are heavily stacked that one parent would reject him/her and to be raised by a single parent.

 

I just think we've gone so far the other way now, under estimating the effects being raised this way can have on a child.

 

It is entirely possible she could dump this bum and eventually meet a wonderful man who loves everything about her - including her child.

I don't think its fair to the child to decide they shouldn't live because the sperm donor is a jerk. Like i say, the child could get a stepdad who is crazy about them completely. you just never know.

 

Its one thing if this guy doesn't want to be a father (too late for that) and says "let's figure this out" - but since the guy "wants to die" it really speaks to his maturity. My ex told me he'd jump off a bridge if i got pregnant (i have an easy way to fix that pal - no sex) because he was broke. Turns out that he really didn't love me to begin with - especially in a way i deserved. If he really was an awesome man who loved you completely and just didn't want to be a dad -- he would get over it after the initial shock and man up or he would decide to sign his rights off of the child, provide support at arm's length, etc. but the whole dying thing just proves that its not about not wanting a child - its about immaturity and jerkitude.

 

Btw, i have heard so many women say "i thought i couldn't have a baby" and forego protection because of it. Did you? Unless your uterus has been removed -- don't think PCOS or fibroids or whatever means you cannot conceive.

[No1]

I am not here to judge the OP or the guy. I am no angel myself and never was but I can tell you that I have never had sex with a hot girl and thought "could I afford 40% of my paycheck to this girl for the next 18yrs?" Or "What if she gets preggo? do I stay with her?" I cant speak for every guy but Im not thinking about that. I should have, but I didn't. In my younger days I have had 'Im pregnant' scares so I know the wave of fear that this guy is going thru. I don't think I ever said "Ill kill myself" but in my cases, they were false alarms, but I learned about myself.. I was a wuss.

 

This guy either doesn't love you enough to be attached to you for the rest of his life, or he doesn't want to grow up, or perhaps its both. I do know that he is trying to push you on the path of termination. He is trying to make it seem like its your choice. I am sure he has offered to pay for it, bargained and reasoned with you on why you two shouldn't have a child now. But in the end, he does not want to be with you. He is thinking of himself.

 

You decide what you want to do. He can threaten to never talk to you again but if you have his child, he will have to talk to you again because he is going to have rights as the father. He is also going to have to man up and start paying for child support regardless if he is ready or not. So let him jump up and down, hold his breath or say things like "Ill never speak to you again" because it no longer matters what he wants and he is worried because he lost control and he is trying to gain it back.

 

Sounds like this guy is going to not make things easy for you. Let him run, but the law will always find him.

[abitbroken]

You decide what you want to do. He can threaten to never talk to you again but if you have his child, he will have to talk to you again because he is going to have rights as the father. .

 

Actually, he can terminate his rights, pay child support and get zero visitation if he does not want anything to do with having a child. there's that too. He may gladly sign his rights away for the child to be adopted or to be raised by you if he truly wants out of the picture

[No1]

Actually, he can terminate his rights, pay child support and get zero visitation if he does not want anything to do with having a child. there's that too. He may gladly sign his rights away for the child to be adopted or to be raised by you if he truly wants out of the picture

 

Although a viable option, I don't see that happening and you dont need a piece of paper to avoid being in a child's life. He can say now he wants nothing to do with the child, but if his parents want to see the child they are going to tell their son, don't you dare sign anything. And signing away rights doesn't mean it relieves you of support payments. In fact, getting 50% custody can reduce or eliminate child support (depending on the agreement). He might have a change of heart or he might not I don't know.

[Jibralta]

Let him run, but the law will always find him.

 

Lol, well the law never found my dad and he hardly bothered to hide! He simply did not pay, and nothing happened to him. Meanwhile, my mom, sister and I made do. It's an amazing example of entitlement, but some men do truly believe that their wants come before their family's needs.

[No1]

Lol, well the law never found my dad and he hardly bothered to hide! He simply did not pay, and nothing happened to him. Meanwhile, my mom, sister and I made do. It's an amazing example of entitlement, but some men do truly believe that their wants come before their family's needs.

 

that's unfortunate, However in some states there are not statue of limitations to sue for back child support. (just saying)

and in this day and age, its is virtually impossible to hide. I don't know how old you are but it was easier to hide. Going way off the subject, look at BTK, he hid in plain site for 30 years but when he tried to return, it was modern technology that did him in.

[Jibralta]

that's unfortunate, However in some states there are not statue of limitations to sue for back child support. (just saying)

 

Well, he's dead now so that won't work haha!

 

and in this day and age, its is virtually impossible to hide. I don't know how old you are but it was easier to hide. Going way off the subject, look at BTK, he hid in plain site for 30 years but when he tried to return, it was modern technology that did him in.

 

I am 41. It was easier to hide back then but his tactic would even work today. What he did was go off the grid. He worked for cash so they couldn't garnish his wages. He didn't have an address for years, but we all knew where we could find him. And yet somehow the courts never managed to locate him. I think that was because he knew all of the cops in his town and was a real charmer.