Long Gone Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Dalesboy, dreams are sometimes amazing and very interesting. I was going through a period from my previous breakup where I started to be aware of all the energy surrounding us, dreaming and synchronized leads in my daily life. Share your stories people will push you to continue with your healing. But never feel its over. It's never over, you are here right? Everything happens for a reason, try to believe in that. You are forced to make changes and to invest time in yourself. Something out there has bigger plans for you. There are people who meets their first true love for the first time and live with them for the rest of their lives. But that's their story and thats maybe the only thing they need to complete their tasks in their life. This story in your life may be a tool for you to evolve and become a stronger, better and more amazing person because that's maybe the abilities you need to have to achieve what your destiny has planned for you. Continue with your healing, don't force yourself to socialize if it doesn't feel good. Work on yourself, and when you don't expect it you will be sitting having a conversation with a new friend in life over a dinner. Yes I know it's an crazy rollercoaster but it will end, Journal your days writing it down or recording on your phone. Talk with your self while you record it and talk about your thoughts. It's so interesting and inspiring to go back and listen to old recordings when I was crying telling myself I wouldn't find anybody in my life. I found one, and got broken again. But IM OK. I have faith because Universe wasn't finished with me, I have something greater in life waiting for me, so do you and this is our training to be the final level of ourselves. Be strong Hey SenseCanada Thanks for your post. I know I'm not there yet and as you say, it's never over. I will possibly have bad days, I know if I saw her again or heard from her it would set me back....but I haven't so I take that as a positive. I've come to accept she wont message me and that has helped me accept where we are at. I've accepted that I had doubts when we were together and the gut feelings that things were not right from the beginning, should have been listened too. I feel like the 'old me' again, from before I met her.... the me that wasn't that bothered about meeting someone as I was busy caring for my terminally ill dad. I worry I'm scared to open myself up to someone again....I suspect I'm thinking like this because of the idea of going out 'online dating again'.....but I know I really don't need to worry about that yet.....if I met someone in person naturally, I don't think those worries would not be as apparent (and ideally, I hope I meet someone this way, when the times right). I find typing here a big help.....something really positive is that I'm looking forward to the Autumn/Fall. Looking forward to it cooling down, the trees changing colour and my birthday in October. It is lingering in my mind that come late October will be a year since we first met.... but I'm trying to feel positive about how much time will have passed....I've moved on as a person, I'm not the same person I was when she met me. I will most likely (unless either us made contact) ever see her again, and that gives me the biggest comfort of all! Link to comment
SenseCanada Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 No problem, you could read my first posts here, they were crazy and bad, but I came over it. I recognize your feelings, I felt the same way. Right now I'm having a strong low dip in my mood and its killing me slowly. I start to think about myself, different scenarios, different ways to heal and get rid off this dark cloud above me. There is nothing you can do as a human to go from deep depression, anxiety and having different thoughts about the past and the future to be HEALED and ready taking on life with 100% capacity. Write down your feelings, express yourself until you don't want to because it exhausts yourself doing it. Thats one thing you can do. Other things as taking care of myself, doing stuff i truly want, working out, building your life, LEARN TO PLAY ALL YOUR FAVORITE LUDOVICO EINAUDI SONGS ON VIOLIN? haha, i did that with piano myself. Had some great cry outs while doing it but it felt amazing playing an instrument, expressing your feelings in the harmony of the music. I mean you know that stuff I don't need to tell you that. You are number one, build your own road, and one day someone wants to be a passenger on your road. If the passenger jumps off, you'll rebuild the road and make it better for the next passenger. But remember it's your road, the passenger didn't throw you off. Take care man! Link to comment
Long Gone Posted July 31, 2018 Author Share Posted July 31, 2018 No problem, you could read my first posts here, they were crazy and bad, but I came over it. I recognize your feelings, I felt the same way. Right now I'm having a strong low dip in my mood and its killing me slowly. I start to think about myself, different scenarios, different ways to heal and get rid off this dark cloud above me. There is nothing you can do as a human to go from deep depression, anxiety and having different thoughts about the past and the future to be HEALED and ready taking on life with 100% capacity. Write down your feelings, express yourself until you don't want to because it exhausts yourself doing it. Thats one thing you can do. Other things as taking care of myself, doing stuff i truly want, working out, building your life, LEARN TO PLAY ALL YOUR FAVORITE LUDOVICO EINAUDI SONGS ON VIOLIN? haha, i did that with piano myself. Had some great cry outs while doing it but it felt amazing playing an instrument, expressing your feelings in the harmony of the music. I mean you know that stuff I don't need to tell you that. You are number one, build your own road, and one day someone wants to be a passenger on your road. If the passenger jumps off, you'll rebuild the road and make it better for the next passenger. But remember it's your road, the passenger didn't throw you off. Take care man! Sorry to hear you have gone through a rough period yourself. Great to hear your are learning an instrument! In particularly the violin! I'm really enjoying the escapism of the Marvel Universe (something I'm really pleased about as I initially couldn't watch any Marvel movie as she liked them too). I've just got into reading the comics and collecting models of the characters. This morning I realised I had been awake a full half an hour before she crossed my mind...... whole 30 minutes of not even thinking she exists! Really pleased! I think one reason I'm doing ok, is that I'm off work and at home....which you may think would make me think about her more, but it doesn't. I find my hour commute to work makes me think more about her, and that happened a little this morning as I had a doctors appointment an hour away. However I just have to put it aside....I don't want to get back with her, so there is no need to think about her....that's what I keep telling myself anyway! Link to comment
Long Gone Posted August 24, 2018 Author Share Posted August 24, 2018 Hi guys! Nearly a month since I last posted, the time really has flown! I've been really good, very good I'd say. I've enjoyed my summer off work, going to the gym 3 times a week and hill walking. The weight is continuing to come off which is great. However things are feeling a little raw tonight, as tomorrow is the first anniversary of my Dad's death and it's brought it all back a bit. It's also made me realise that I'm two months off it being a year since I met 'her'. It's a strange emotion, I don't particularly miss her, or want to be with her....but I feel a little nauseous, it's like as it's coming around to that time of year...it's like in my head the first date is coming up. Does that make sense? It's like the events of meeting her, and being with her and breaking up are getting closer (when I know they aren't). Feel a little mixed up! Link to comment
catfeeder Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 Hi guys! Nearly a month since I last posted, the time really has flown! I've been really good, very good I'd say. I've enjoyed my summer off work, going to the gym 3 times a week and hill walking. The weight is continuing to come off which is great. However things are feeling a little raw tonight, as tomorrow is the first anniversary of my Dad's death and it's brought it all back a bit. It's also made me realise that I'm two months off it being a year since I met 'her'. It's a strange emotion, I don't particularly miss her, or want to be with her....but I feel a little nauseous, it's like as it's coming around to that time of year...it's like in my head the first date is coming up. Does that make sense? It's like the events of meeting her, and being with her and breaking up are getting closer (when I know they aren't). Feel a little mixed up! I'm sorry about your Dad. As for her, you get to decide how relevant she needs to be. You can either inflate her importance or you can minimize it by reclaiming this time as your own to perceive as you wish. Link to comment
Long Gone Posted September 6, 2018 Author Share Posted September 6, 2018 Evening guys! Few more weeks have passed, and I'm doing good! I'm single, and happy. Enjoying my hobbies, enjoying life doing my own thing. Can't believe it's 11 months since I went on that first date....but it feels good it's so long ago, but this is where I'm worried a little. The thought of that date makes me feel physically sick, any thought of seeing her....my stomach turns. I feel I've shut myself off from the idea of meeting someone. I really do not want to open myself to someone, to feel as out of control emotionally as I felt back then. I have no desire to actively date, or put myself in that position. Am I giving myself time to heal? Or am setting myself up to not feel rejected and hurt and for life as a singleton....and is that such a bad thing? Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 Hello buddy, Very glad to hear you are doing well. Just one piece of advice, keep doing the things that make you happy, but try not to completely shut yourself from the idea of meeting someone. Keep moving it forward :) Link to comment
Long Gone Posted September 14, 2018 Author Share Posted September 14, 2018 Hello buddy, Very glad to hear you are doing well. Just one piece of advice, keep doing the things that make you happy, but try not to completely shut yourself from the idea of meeting someone. Keep moving it forward :) Hey sputnik! Good to hear from you. I've generally been feeling good still, however when ever I think about her, my stomach just turns and I feel sick, but I've pushed it a side and really enjoying my hobbies and getting back to work. However this morning (I'm not working today) my alarm was still set annoyingly and went off at 5.45. Turned it off and went back to sleep but for the next 3 hours, I dreamt about her. Same vibe throughout of her trying to sort of find me, or me keep seeing her but I didn't want to see her. It ended with me sat upset with a friend, and her seeing me and coming over as my friend (I don't know who he was) told her to stay away. She sat with me trying to talk to me but I just had my head in my hands (possibly crying). Then she got up with another man and walked away holding hands with him....and then I woke up. I've felt crap this morning, felt really weak and primarily vulnerable. We are nearly at the year point that we first met and it now feels raw. Anyone any good at understanding dreams? Not sure if there is a meaning.... it's knocked me a bit! Link to comment
Long Gone Posted September 26, 2018 Author Share Posted September 26, 2018 Hi guys! I'm still here...... same old same old. I'm doing ok, continuing to lose weight, enjoy working again and fully absorbed in my hobbies. However I feel I still think about her too much. Someone who had so little part in my life (2 and half months) but lingers in my mind. I know why, it's nearly a year since we first met so I can't help but think back. Emotionally, I think I'm screwed up.... I do not want to meet anyone. It wouldn't be fair when I still think about her but also... I'm scared about considering opening myself to someone again. I've never felt as vulnerable as I did this year..... there are lots in life to enjoy, do I need such emotional turbulence in my life? Link to comment
Long Gone Posted September 28, 2018 Author Share Posted September 28, 2018 A new day...moving forward. Really forcing myself to not let the past keep dragging me down. This is 2018, not a year ago... I'm not going to have to go through the heartache of last time! To be honest reading stories on here of similar dating experiences has reminded me that I will meet someone again. I want to enjoy being me, and doing my own thing for the rest of the year, then open myself to dating again next year. Sorry I ramble on, as I've said before, you guys are the only people I have to talk to. Link to comment
Bigboss29 Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 Keep it up man, I too was scared to meet other woman but I eventually did and i didn't even feel bad about it lol why i say that? Because the women would tell me how confident I am, good looking, muscular, charming etc which gives me a boost big time... Dont worry I have my bad days to, im human after all Link to comment
Long Gone Posted September 28, 2018 Author Share Posted September 28, 2018 Keep it up man, I too was scared to meet other woman but I eventually did and i didn't even feel bad about it lol why i say that? Because the women would tell me how confident I am, good looking, muscular, charming etc which gives me a boost big time... Dont worry I have my bad days to, im human after all Cheers buddy. That's just what I needed to hear! This is why I'm happy just doing my own thing for the moment, but keeping the weight loss going. I'm still on a high being under 20 stone (280) for the first time in 10 years! Link to comment
Carus Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 I'm still on a high being under 20 stone (280) for the first time in 10 years! Good stuff buddy....There's a silver lining right there....! :) Keep It Movin' Carus* Link to comment
Long Gone Posted September 28, 2018 Author Share Posted September 28, 2018 Good stuff buddy....There's a silver lining right there....! :) Keep It Movin' Carus* Hey Carus! Yeah, actually since coming back here and reading, I'm feeling so much better. It's hitting me now that she was never right for me, the doubt set in on the first date and I tried to ignore it....I'd projected far too much in the week messaging. What swung things back was her introducing her little boy.....that just screwed me up honestly not knowing how I felt. For the first time, I can eventually see a time I might date again. My only worry is that it's taken me so long to see the light....what happens when it goes wrong and I DO love them.... probably best not to think like that! Link to comment
Long Gone Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 Evening guys! (UK time at least). I feel a fog is finally clearing.....and that she has taken far too much of my time up this last year. Oddly it was reading stories on here that made me realise it. I can now see that truthfully I knew she was never right for me. I'd projected in that first week in messages to her and seeing her photos....but the person I dated never felt right....emotions became mixed up when she introduced her 3 year old son on the third date....even now I can't get my head around that. I suspect if she hadn't had a son, things may have fizzled out sooner. I was 3 months out of losing my Dad, who had been my everything. Seeing her and her little boy, I felt I had a purpose....a family again. Although I've known a lot of this for some time, it's finally clicked....and I can now see myself dating again. Not yet.... I wish to spend the rest of 2018 focusing on myself, my lovely border collie Lass and enjoy healing. I'm not comfortable in myself yet, and wish to lose a good more amount weight. I know weight loss doesn't make you more attractive, but I know I'll have more confidence. Yeah, I'm closing the book on the past 12 months. Link to comment
Long Gone Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 Hi guys Just feeling really positive so felt like posting. This feels like I’m finally closing the last relationship behind me now. I’m actually looking forward to dating again (I’m still sticking to my rules, not his year, probably spring next year). It feels like my weight loss and emotional healing are working together now! Onwards and Upwards! Link to comment
SherrySher Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 Well done! I am cheering you on. :) Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 Hello buddy, So glad you are feeling like this. Proud of your progress you have made and your perspective on things. Keep it going! :) Link to comment
Long Gone Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 Well done! I am cheering you on. :) Thanks SherrySher! I’ve not forgotten your nice comments from when I started this weight loss journey. Weighed myself this morning, another pound loss! Current weight 19 stone 12 pounds. Link to comment
Long Gone Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 Hello buddy, So glad you are feeling like this. Proud of your progress you have made and your perspective on things. Keep it going! :) Hey Sputnik! It’s a strange feeling but ultimately it’s waking up the fact I wasn’t that in to her, and things weren’t great from day one or ever felt right. I know I’ll still think about her, but not in the same way I think, and a lot of that is because she is the recent ex. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Thanks SherrySher! I’ve not forgotten your nice comments from when I started this weight loss journey. Weighed myself this morning, another pound loss! Current weight 19 stone 12 pounds. I've been watching for updates and hoping you're doing well. Well done on another pound lost!! I know it can be a tough go but you really are doing so well. Sometimes it can be 2 steps forward, one step back but you really are doing great. You are making progress and it's wonderful to see!! It will take time with the dating situation too. But you'll get there. I believe in you. Link to comment
Long Gone Posted October 3, 2018 Author Share Posted October 3, 2018 I've been watching for updates and hoping you're doing well. Well done on another pound lost!! I know it can be a tough go but you really are doing so well. Sometimes it can be 2 steps forward, one step back but you really are doing great. You are making progress and it's wonderful to see!! It will take time with the dating situation too. But you'll get there. I believe in you. That's so very kind of you thank you! Still feeling incredibly positive at the moment. Like I say, it's like a button has been pressed and switched me on to how I really felt about her. I've thought about her a few times today, but it isn't the same. I'm genuinely excited at the prospect of dating again! Genuine thanks to so much help I've received. This site has been a life line and I just wish I'd found it straight after she'd finished me! Link to comment
Long Gone Posted October 6, 2018 Author Share Posted October 6, 2018 Had a lovely relaxing Saturday. Did some of my hobby stuff this afternoon, and then this evening went for a 2 and half mile walk with my Border Collie. Thought about her a couple of times, and realised I'm definitely moving into that 'indifferent' stage. Feeling very positive! Here is a photo from tonights walk. It felt magical! [ATTACH=CONFIG]11550[/ATTACH] Link to comment
Long Gone Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 Evening guys Well, I'm doing alright. I have to admit.... I shouldn't take for granted emotions. I felt so 'over her' then gradually I've thought about her again. It's fine, I feel ok....it's just an annoyance. It's reached a head tonight... it's a year since I first messaged her on the dating site. I'm not trying to make a big thing of it, (or maybe I am to have posted about it).. I'd hoped I'd have forgotten, but in a way I feel I needed to get this milestone out of the way. I'm sure that a week today I'll note it was a year since our first date.....again I think once this has past, it's going to be easier. I'm not down, it's just in my thoughts a little.... Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Hello buddy, As you know, this does come and go.. These milestones are an annoyance aren't they.. I just reached the 12 months since the split. Just remember that this is perfectly normal and you are doing great! Any plans for the weekend? :) Link to comment
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