Alone, longing and everything feels ever so pointless

[Long Gone]

Hello buddy,

 

As you know, this does come and go..

 

These milestones are an annoyance aren't they.. I just reached the 12 months since the split.

 

Just remember that this is perfectly normal and you are doing great!

 

Any plans for the weekend? :)

 

Cheers Sputnik!

Nothing planned really, going out hiking on Saturday with my border collie which will be great!

Just feeling a bit down tonight. My best friend rang me tonight, he wasn't feeling great as his Dad has terminal cancer, and things are not looking good. My mother rang me several times, so I cut the call, asked if she had got my text (saying id speak later as my friend was on the phone, who she's knows).

 

Explained things weren't looking good, I could tell she wasn't happy I was cutting her off with the tone in her voice. Tried ringing her back after talking to my friend, she cut my call off and now isn't answering.

 

Seriously pissed off! She is so narcissistic, and she knows the situation with my friend. Long story with my mother, but she didn't want me when I was little and I was brought up by my grandparents. She's very lucky I want anything to do with her.

 

Anyhow with my current feelings it's left me feeling very alone tonight....and thinking back to the ex. At least back then I had someone else in my life, now I've got no one.

[Carus]

Sorry bout the backslide buddy*

Long story with my mother, but she didn't want me when I was little and I was brought up by my grandparents. She's very lucky I want anything to do with her.

This^ says a lot about your current feelings.

 

I too was adopted out and it probably taps into my extreme abandonment fears when it comes to my relationships.

 

Not doing so well myself. Over a year out now...

 

Sending You Strength

 

Carus*

[Long Gone]

Sorry bout the backslide buddy*

 

This^ says a lot about your current feelings.

 

I too was adopted out and it probably taps into my extreme abandonment fears when it comes to my relationships.

 

Not doing so well myself. Over a year out now...

 

Sending You Strength

 

Carus*

 

 

Sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch too Carus! Sending you strength too! :)

 

Just a weird feeling at the moment. As it's the same time of year it's almost like I'm reliving it, expect to get a message from her! Keeping myself busy with my hobbies. I just think inside, I feel a bit empty and alone.

 

Not a reason to rush out and meet someone though. Need to do this on my own.

[Long Gone]

Well, todays my Birthday...33 today....yay!

 

Feeling ok, but the fact last year everything was revolving about just meeting her.... all feels a bit, I dunno....sad!

 

It's weird, it's a year ago, and about 10 months since we last spoke, but she still feels recent in my head. Just want her to go now....maybe it's because I thought if I was to hear from her....it would be today. I accept she probably doesn't think about me anymore, and why should I....just wish I was feeling the same. Felt I'd really moved on 3 weeks ago.... honestly feels like a year ago.

[sputnik123]

Many Happy Returns buddy!

 

I hope you had a great day in the end :)

 

As far as the break-up is concerned, it's just another day and best that you don't hear from her anyway!

 

I would be very surprised if she doesn't think of you from time to time but that doesn't mean that people reach out. Very big difference..

 

I know where you are coming with the timelines, anniversaries etc but there really is only one way to keep moving and you know where that is ;)

 

Keep going brother.

[Long Gone]

Many Happy Returns buddy!

 

I hope you had a great day in the end :)

 

As far as the break-up is concerned, it's just another day and best that you don't hear from her anyway!

 

I would be very surprised if she doesn't think of you from time to time but that doesn't mean that people reach out. Very big difference..

 

I know where you are coming with the timelines, anniversaries etc but there really is only one way to keep moving and you know where that is ;)

 

Keep going brother.

 

Much Appreciated mate!

 

Yeah, I've had a nice time with friends over....I think it's that realisation it's a whole year ago...and perhaps in my head, I don't want it to be a year ago. With all the that went on, it was nice for a short time having someone to care for, someone special in your life.

 

However I knew it wasn't right, and getting today out the way in that sense is good. Got a hobby event to go to tomorrow which will be good to keep my mind off things. :)