She pulled away what do I do about it?

[Ryanf89]

I met this women (24) at the job who's 5yrs younger than me (29). I have to say her initial interest in me was high(right around 75%. 2wks in she pulled all the way back I didn't quite understand at the time I just assumed I must've did something. Female nature dictates if we both feeling each other that if the man shows he's feeling the woman too soon... it's a turn off even in a situation like ours where we "connect" it's still a turn off. Now fast forward 2wks after she barely makes eye contact with me, she doesn't initiate convo and it's like damn I'm a good dude at least give me another shot but I've been told to just leave the situation alone cause at this point the damage is done and at this point it's 50/50 whether she comes back after losing interest, should I just talk to her about how I'm feeling about her unnecessary behavior towards me or just leave it? I never had a women with high interest then 1.) Lose "all" interest then 2.) Treat me like I killed her dog. I don't mind the treatment if I deserve it.The thing is I don't have a problem walkin away it's just that we really connected, even she said so.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately a friendly coworker is not a relationship. It seems your pickup artist mindset makes you believe that there was "high interest" and that there was some sort of relationship, but it sounds like it's mostly in your mind. She may avoid you now because of the creepy vibe of thinking you had some sort of mutual "connection". It's a work place not a singles bar or dating app. Don't hit on coworkers.

I met this women (24) at the job. 2wks after she barely makes eye contact with me, she doesn't initiate convo. it's 50/50 whether she comes back after losing interest

[j.man]

At the end of the day, you're her coworker. She doesn't owe you a smile. Let it go and do your job.

[Minikimini]

I met this women (24) at the job who's 5yrs younger than me (29). I have to say her initial interest in me was high(right around 75%. 2wks in she pulled all the way back I didn't quite understand at the time I just assumed I must've did something. Female nature dictates if we both feeling each other that if the man shows he's feeling the woman too soon... it's a turn off even in a situation like ours where we "connect" it's still a turn off.

 

That's not "female nature"--that's human nature because men do the exact same thing.

 

Perhaps she pulled away because she's really not interested and she is mindful of your company's fraternizing policy and therefore doesn't want a workplace boyfriend. She's also probably hoping you can catch a clue without her having to unzip the lizard on you.

 

Yes. Walk away. Don't poop where you eat.

[nutbrownhare]

It's a work place not a singles bar or dating app.

 

This ^^^.

 

Your assessment of her behaviour would be completely appropriate if it was a pick-up joint. It isn't. The way you've interpreted it is completely inappropriate.

 

If someone new starts working in my workplace, I'd go out of my way to introduce myself and make them feel welcome, and most good co-workers would do the same. It seems that you've looked at her friendly professionalism as expressing interest in you - which it probably never was in the first place.

 

Do not, whatever you do, talk to her about her "unnecessary behaviour towards you". That's likely to freak out not only her, but any other females she shares it with. You're at work to do a job, so really, really just let this girl go and get on with it!

[Wiseman2]

Absolutely. Not only that, she could report it as sexual harassment and get you fired. Be Smart. Get on Tinder rather than imagining you are dating coworkers.

Do not, whatever you do, talk to her about her "unnecessary behaviour towards you". That's likely to freak out not only her, but any other females she shares it with.

[smackie9]

OK so she was really hot on you when you met...you didn't ask her out? or is that against company policy? How is she to give you a shot if you don't ask her out? Maybe she gave up and decided it would be best to get over you by disconnecting. Anywho, I agree you are best to leave this one alone for awhile. She will come around again, but not as chummy as before possibly.

 

OR she felt you were getting that too keen vibe on her when she was just being friendly...pulled away to send a message that it's not welcomed.

 

We are not there to see it so we are just guessing. Only you can dictate what the next step will be.

[Sportster2005]

I met this women (24) at the job who's 5yrs younger than me (29). I have to say her initial interest in me was high(right around 75%. 2wks in she pulled all the way back I didn't quite understand at the time I just assumed I must've did something. Female nature dictates if we both feeling each other that if the man shows he's feeling the woman too soon... it's a turn off even in a situation like ours where we "connect" it's still a turn off. Now fast forward 2wks after she barely makes eye contact with me, she doesn't initiate convo and it's like damn I'm a good dude at least give me another shot but I've been told to just leave the situation alone cause at this point the damage is done and at this point it's 50/50 whether she comes back after losing interest, should I just talk to her about how I'm feeling about her unnecessary behavior towards me or just leave it? I never had a women with high interest then 1.) Lose "all" interest then 2.) Treat me like I killed her dog. I don't mind the treatment if I deserve it.The thing is I don't have a problem walkin away it's just that we really connected, even she said so.

 

Your chances are actually more like 90/10 against, not 50/50. Let it go, you're taking it way too personal.

[ShatteredMan]

OP: Stay the hell away from this woman. Don't speak or make eye contact with her. Don't sit anywhere near her in meetings if you can avoid it. You're about to walk into a bad situation my having this possibly circulating around your office.

 

Per Wiseman's assessment, a sexual harassment allegation (whether or not it ends up in disciplinary action/legal ramifications) will haunt you no matter where you go if it ends up getting you thrown out of this company. Even if it doesn't, it will more than likely affect your upward and lateral mobility.