How much is too much when it comes to helping a gf out?

[Rozhni]

Long story short, we are both 23. we’ve been dating for 7 months, and together for 3.

Her and I get a long very well and took things very slow which worked out great.

I have never felt so confident about a relationship working out the way I do with her. She’s been the girl of my dreams for over 2 years; still can’t believe we are together.

I feel like this girl truly loves me as well. I’ve never been respected/treated so well by someone in relationship.

Anyways, she lost her car and needed a car so I instinctively offered to give her one of my cars for cheap and told her to just pay me monthly until she pays me off (which should take 2 years) I have a lot of money so it’s not a burden on me. She is aware of that so after telling her a few times that I’m okay with letting her make payments and I want to help her, she accepted even though she feels bad and told me she’d pay me back as much as fast as she can..

So as soon as we made the deal I started wondering if I’m doing a little too much for her?

I REALLY wanted to help her because I’m a car guy and I hate stealerships and I didn’t want my own gf getting ripped off while I could have given her one of mine..

I’d like advice from girls and guys..

Could this make things complicated if one of us starts losing feelings? (Not saying I will) just never know.

[mustlovedogs]

7 months huh.

 

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[katrina1980]

I think giving your gf a car after only seven months' dating is way over the top.

 

And how does one "lose" their car, was it stolen, and does she not have insurance?

 

Something's not jiving.

 

And forget about her paying you back -- not gonna happen unless you've got something in writing.

[Rozhni]

September 9th was the first night she asked me out for drinks and it was clear we were both into each other. Isn’t dating when you’re getting to know each other? Sheesh

[Rozhni]

Yeah, but if you were in my shoes and saw that someone you really care about really needed the help and had no one else..

I’m keeping the car under my name

[MissCanuck]

What if she breaks up with you? And same question as katrina, how did she lose her car to begin with?

 

You need to get this payment plan in writing, OP. You're not being smart about this.

[DanZee]

Try watching some judge shows on TV. A lot of cases revolve around people who loaned someone else a car and never got paid back, never got the car back, or got stuck with parking tickets. You would have been better off to give her the car and let her insure it and take care of it.

[boltnrun]

Was her car repossessed?

[Honeycomb8]

Eh big mistake. Never never mix finances with someone ur in a relationship with, ESP only after 7 months.

 

 

Don't lend it or get it in writing with a lawyer. Otherwise you'll regret this I guarantee u.

[Honeycomb8]

I learnt from my past mistake of pending a big amount of money to someone I dated. I didn't get it in writing and never got my money back.

[Cope]

A car 7 months in is too much even if you are rich.

Why would you do such a thing other than just to help her out? Were you afraid of loosing her? Is a car essential to you guys seeing each other and you were afraid that without one you wouldn't be able to see her?

 

Do you always do this for people?

Also, having an economic gap tears some relationships apart, like it or not. Careful about that.

[butterfly45]

How you’ve been treating this woman is so unfair. You seem to push and push and then when she agrees you pull back. You’ve persuaded her to take the car now so to change your mind makes you look untrustworthy. Never mind trusting her, if I were in her shoes I would not agree to take a car off a man I’ve dated seven months. If you argued you could use that against her.

[yatsue]

Yeah, but if you were in my shoes and saw that someone you really care about really needed the help and had no one else..

I’m keeping the car under my name

 

If I were in your shoes and afraid she might be trapped at a "stealership" then I would have gone with her to get a car in her own name. Not give her my car, or money to pay for another one or co-sign. That is way too much and you are about to sabotage this relationship because you are implementing inappropriate relationship boundaries. You only do those things when you become family (marriage) after a significant length of time (years).

 

However, you can still salvage this since the car is still in your name. Tell her you want her to have her own car in her name and you'll help her get one at a good rate; that you feel bad she has been uneasy about taking your car in the first place and want to amend your mistake in having her make payments towards a car she doesn't officially own.

[mustlovedogs]

September 9th was the first night she asked me out for drinks and it was clear we were both into each other. Isn’t dating when you’re getting to know each other? Sheesh

 

Big difference. 7 months vs 2 months.

 

You weren’t even sure she liked you until TWO months ago. Doing this at 7 months is crazy, at 2 months it’s insane.

[Jibralta]

How you’ve been treating this woman is so unfair. You seem to push and push and then when she agrees you pull back. You’ve persuaded her to take the car now so to change your mind makes you look untrustworthy.

 

Great point!

[boltnrun]

Was her car repossessed?

 

Still wondering how she "lost" her car.