Tempted to cause a breakup

[Casey234]

So my ex girlfriend has been with her rebound 'boyfriend' for a few months now. Lately we have been talking frequently every single day for the past month. She has to keep everything a secret so we text on snapchat as she said he (her boyfriend) doesn't like it when we text lol. She has went on to say that she has made a mistake of leaving me and basically saying she wants me back through these texts. I'm starting to think I want her back as well. But she's with this boy who I know she really doesn't want to be with but she's also too scared to leave him. She has also said that if she were to leave him then he said he would fight for her. This whole situation has made me angry ever since we broke up. I am very tempted to send her boyfriend the texts that confess that she made a mistake and wants to be with me because I know that would change all of his feelings for her. The relationship would end. She will be devastated. But do I need to do this? Should I? The breakup was very bad (found out from a pic of them on Ig on thanksgiving eve) It seems very mean but I've always had resentment towards her and always seeked revenge (not in a mean way) Even though I do want her to be happy, I just think she would be happier with me and this needs to be done in order to get her away from him

[SweetGirl28]

My goodness hell no you don't do that. You know that won't make her want you, she will just become bitter and resentful towards you. If she wants to dump him, she will. Guaranteed she's just loving the attention you give keeping keeping you on the side. They aren't a rebound if months later they are still together. Rebounds end fairly quickly.

 

Leave her alone. Tell her if she is serious to contact you when they are no longer together.

[boltnrun]

So let's say you go ahead with your (very bad) plan to split them up, it works and she comes back to you. Congratulations! Now you get the fun of realizing she's probably emotionally cheating on you with him, telling him she doesn't really want to be with you and she wishes she could be with him.

 

If that doesn't sound like fun to you, then ditch this plan and move forward with your life.

 

ETA: "It seems very mean but I've always had resentment towards her and always seeked revenge (not in a mean way)"

Excuse me, but what exactly is a "nice way" to be resentful toward someone and want revenge? If you "always" had resentment toward her...why the heck do you want her back? Ego?

[Hollyj]

She is totally playing you. Ridiculous that you have fallen for it.

 

if she wanted to be with you, she would be.

 

She sounds like a real prize to fight over.

[HeartGoesOn]

Place a higher price tag on yourself, and refuse the urge to stoop to her level. The best revenge is to move forward, and live well.

 

She's simply baiting you, where I'd like to think you're smarter than that.

[melancholy123]

Do you not see that if you send the new bf a bunch of texts of her saying she wants you that she will be pissed with you? That won't win her back! I think she's playing you and the new guy, at the same time. First you say you want her then you say you want revenge. Make up your mind! Playing both ends against the middle never works.

[Blank State]

Don't do this. First, it's immature. Second, she'll hate you for doing this. I've been in your shoes before. And it never works the way you want it to. I worked with a girl who was really, really hot. She used to flirt with me and it got to the point where she was making it really obvious. I knew she had a boyfriend, but I couldn't resist. When we first started talking she bad mouthed her boyfriend a lot to me. I bought it. She told me that their days were numbered. She told me everything I wanted to hear. I would never ask her when she was ending it with her boyfriend. She would always volunteer the information to me. I started to realize it wasn't going to happen and resided to just being her side piece. Because like I said, she was smoking hot.

 

Well, Christmas was coming and she told me "I just have to get through the holidays. And then I'm breaking up with him. I promise you things are ending". Again, I didn't ask. She just told this to me. She promised me. So after the holidays come around she "Breaks up with him". Because she backed herself into a corner. She knew she made a promise to me. So we had a good 2 days where we got to hang out and have fun free of her having to report to her boyfriend.

 

Then the 180 came. She was ing devastated that she broke up with her boyfriend and told me. She was so down about it that she didn't even care how I felt about it. In the back of my mind I knew this was going to happen, but it still brought me to my knees. This happened back and forth for a year or so until I wised up.

 

Now, my situation is a little different from yours, but the root of the story is still the same. She's feeding you bull to string you along. If she wanted to break up with him she would. The "I'm afraid to leave him." just means "I don't want to leave him.". Save yourself a ton of heartache and leave this girl alone.

[Casey234]

I guess after all is said and reading all the replies, my intention really isn't to get her back. I more so want her to stop playing games with both me and her boyfriend because it isn't fair to the both of us. Everybody just needs to know the truth. If my gf was secretly flirting with her ex on a daily basis I definitely would want someone to tell me. Right now she is getting attention from the both of us and after I do this she won't be getting any at all so it will really make her think about what really is important. I know this will probably end my chances forever with her but honestly I wouldn't feel bad if she goes through the same pain that she caused me

[Clio]

I fully empathize with your feelings but in reality the best revenge is to walk away and never look back. Stop giving her all this attention wasting all this emotional energy in the process. Chances are that she will get her comeuppance in due time without you having to lift a finger. She is toxic and toxic people have a tendency to self-destruct without any external assistance needed. However, the more you interact with toxic people, the more you invite toxicity into your own life. Think of her toxicity as contagious. The most healthy thing you can do for yourself is to block and erase her from your life. Life will take care of the rest. As for her rebound, chances are that he knew what he was getting himself into. He probably witnessed how she treated you yet he made the informed choice to get with her. He doesn't really need any saving.

[reinventmyself]

If you are feeling resentful then why don't you tell her so and act on it?

What I mean is, why are you engaging her in all this back and forth as if nothing happened?

It seems a little backwards to go on as if everything is ok but at the same time planning to punish her.

 

Wouldn't it make sense to stay clear of people who do you wrong? That way you don't need to lie to yourself that everything's ok just for the sake of keeping contact. . but all the while still feeling resentful.

 

You feel this way for good reason.

Be done with her

[Wiseman2]

Oh yeah, she'll coming running back to you if you do this.

I am very tempted to send her boyfriend the texts that confess that she made a mistake and wants to be with me because I know that would change all of his feelings for her. The relationship would end. She will be devastated. I've always had resentment towards her and always seeked revenge

[SweetGirl28]

Oh yeah, she'll coming running back to you if you do this.

 

Lol! works every time! Hahahahahaha