Her cell phone, bot on my plan

[2005TAHOE]

My ex and I recently broke up. Well, when she left she brought me her phone which was under my plan. She hasn't logged out of her emails or instagram accounts. I made a mistake and started snooping on it and found no signs of cheating. I want to erase the phone and sell it but it still has pictures of her deceased baby on it, I don't know what to do. Her mom called last week, the day that she left when emotions were at their high and asked me to get her icloud code off of it. I was at work and couldn't do it right then. I texted her mom the next day asn asked her if she still need to code or whatever it was and she never replied. SO?

 

We had issues with her mom being involved with our lives and I had control and jealousy issues as well as her. (see other thread)

 

I have been NC since Sunday, its been a week

 

1) Do I take the phone to apple, get it erased and sell it back to Verizon to help pay for the remaining contract on it?

 

OR

 

2) Do I hold on to it, give her space and pay the monthly lost phone fee ($10) per month in case she were to want to reconcile?

[Seraphim]

Dude , never erase pics of someone’s deceased child. I would gut someone like a fish if they did that to me. Send the pics to her mom and tell her they are on the phone. You want to delete the phone’s memory and sell it. But give them a chance and send the pics to her mom to download.

[Cope]

What Seraphim said.

[yatsue]

Since she made the decision to willingly give the phone back to you, I am sure she already sent the pictures to herself via another phone or device (computer, tablet, friend/family's phone, etc), if they were actually important to her (we all hope they are but that's a big thing to just "forget" so carelessly). You can send them just in case if you want (to her email or to a phone of a person she knows), although I believe she has them regardless. It's a quick, unfounded judgement to say you're "cold" to clear a phone that is returned to you intentially, which you owned in the first place.

 

Do not continue to pay for the phone, hoping for a reconcillation. Send them over if you are compelled to (in printed photos if you really have to) and be done with it. Give it to verizon to get some of your money back. By the way, why were/are you paying for her cell phone? Cheaper or not, personal bills should remain just that in a relationship. I can unnderstand shared bills if you were living together such as rent, heat, or internet, but personal devices? Um, no.

[WaveyDayz]

Burn them to a cd then do as u please with the phone

[2005TAHOE]

I just sent them to her email, I have no contact info for her other than that and her moms number. Should I text her mom and let her know that I sent them?

[yatsue]

I just sent them to her email, I have no contact info for her other than that and her moms number. Should I text her mom and let her know that I sent them?

 

If your ex uses that email, I really don't see the need to. You contacted her directly and can send them wherever else if requested since you'll have the photo attachments.

[purplepaisley]

I would go to the drug store and print them and/or save to disc as well. Plop them in the mail. I would probably send them to her mom if they have a good relationship and I can trust mom to give them to the ExGF. Because these pictures are so important, I would probably save some copies for myself to tuck away until I'm sure the pictures were safely received. Your Ex probably already saved any pictures she wants, so you probably don't need to worry about any of this, but I think it's a good idea to err on the side of caution. These are too important to lose. Then you can wipe the phone and do what you want with it.

 

At this point you emailed them, which is fine. If you think your Ex is going to be an emotional mess upon receiving these photos, and her mom is the one who will be walking her through it, I would let mom know. Otherwise, there really is no need to contact her.

[2005TAHOE]

I may still go print them. All I said in the email was "sorry that it took so long, but here are all of the pics of "X" on your old phone. I know that she opened it bc she is still logged into her email on her old phone, but she didn't respond.

 

I just left it at that since its been less than a week since she ended the engagement and I have been NC since then. Im praying for us to reconcile.

[Hollyj]

I think you have done enough.

 

I would assume that she took those photos off of the phone. I would not expect my ex to go through my phone.

 

Return the phone. All the best with you healing, and get some help regarding your control issues.

[Hollyj]

You two were dating for six months, before the split. This went way too fast. You were engaged at the four-month mark.

 

In the future, you have to slow down, as you do not know someone in this time period.

 

Also, in the future do not ever keep money problems to yourself. If you are involved with someone on that level. their financial stability affects you. You should know if people are in debt, and responsible with money. This is huge!

 

Please do not reconcile with this woman. She sounds very unstable.

[2005TAHOE]

Well, no response of course. At least she has the pictures and I know that I did all I could to make sure she got them. She read the email and left it in her INBOX for a while and the it went to trash.

 

I don't get how someone can be so cold after a break up after spending a year together. She told me that she wasn't going to do me like my ex wife did, sure looks like it to me :(

[Hollyj]

I thought you were only together since July. Why are you lying about this?

 

"I met my fiancé online in July 2017, moved her closer to me in October 2017 and got engaged in December 2017, "

[Wiseman2]

You send it back to her and take it off your plan. In the last thread you stated you make 3x what she makes and you need to sell her phone?

I want to erase the phone and sell it but it still has pictures of her deceased baby on it, I don't know what to do.

1) Do I take the phone to apple, get it erased and sell it back to Verizon to help pay for the remaining contract on it?

2) Do I hold on to it, give her space and pay the monthly lost phone fee ($10) per month in case she were to want to reconcile?

[MissCanuck]

Well, no response of course. At least she has the pictures and I know that I did all I could to make sure she got them. She read the email and left it in her INBOX for a while and the it went to trash.

 

I don't get how someone can be so cold after a break up after spending a year together. She told me that she wasn't going to do me like my ex wife did, sure looks like it to me :(

 

Because you didn't give yourselves long enough to get to know each other.

 

But I'm confused. - in your other thread, you said you met online in July 2017. You haven't even known her for a year, unless I'm missing something.

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=548803

[yatsue]

You send it back to her and take it off your plan. In the last thread you stated you make 3x what she makes and you need to sell her phone?

 

Excuse me, but no. It's his phone HE paid for and she returned it. He even got confirmation she received the pictures. He should be able to do what he wants with his own stuff, despite her mooching off using the line he also paid for. Just because she used the phone doesn't make it hers. Making more money than her is a terrible excuse to promote bad behavior. She needs to be an adult and be responsible for getting her own stuff.

[Wiseman2]

He seemed to keep saying he 'gave it to her' which means it's a gift, legally. She gave everything back to him. Point is moot he finally emailed the pics to her (after he snooped through it for signs of cheating) so he can get a refund on the phone he "gave her".

Just because she used the phone doesn't make it hers.

[yatsue]

He seemed to keep saying he 'gave it to her' which means it's a gift, legally. She gave everything back to him. Point is moot he finally emailed the pics to her (after he snooped through it for signs of cheating) so he can get a refund on the phone he "gave her".

 

The point was moot when she returned it to him, which means it is no longer legally deemed a gift (regardless of its content). Again, it is not good to promote such behavior, especially since he was funding the majority of her expenses. He should not feel bad for selling the phone, even more so when it is clear he was used for money to an extent in this relationship. I feel bad for you OP, you deserve much better than your ex. I hope you realize reconcillation is a bad idea and you are better off without her.

[2005TAHOE]

The point was moot when she returned it to him, which means it is no longer legally deemed a gift (regardless of its content). Again, it is not good to promote such behavior, especially since he was funding the majority of her expenses. He should not feel bad for selling the phone, even more so when it is clear he was used for money to an extent in this relationship. I feel bad for you OP, you deserve much better than your ex. I hope you realize reconcillation is a bad idea and you are better off without her.

 

Thanks, I was being respectful and at least sowing her that I care and sent the pictures of her deceased baby to her. We have almost been together a year, sorry for the misunderstanding. But still, I dont get how you can just stop talking to someone after that amount of time together. I am a nice person and tried to make sure our bills were paid for, if/when we would have gotten married then it still would have been separate checking accounts and a third one for bills only.

[Hollyj]

Thanks, I was being respectful and at least sowing her that I care and sent the pictures of her deceased baby to her. We have almost been together a year, sorry for the misunderstanding. But still, I dont get how you can just stop talking to someone after that amount of time together. I am a nice person and tried to make sure our bills were paid for, if/when we would have gotten married then it still would have been separate checking accounts and a third one for bills only.

 

That is not what you said in your other threads. You said you met in July 2017.

[mustlovedogs]

That is not what you said in your other threads. You said you met in July 2017.

 

If I’m interpreting what OP is saying correctly, he’s saying they have been together almost a year. July is only 3 months away.

[MissCanuck]

OP, this is why you don't make huge future plans with someone you don't know very well.

 

Her mother was right to be concerned that her daughter was getting engaged to a man she barely knew. You might be a lovely man, but it was unwise for either of you to jump into this.

 

The phone issue is a manifestation of the bigger problems in your relationship.

[Wiseman2]

Are you still snooping through her phone, reading her emails and everything else? It's her fault she didn't disable it/change the passcodes etc. It sounds like you are still angry at your exwife and no relationship would have panned out for you. Unfortunately you can't change your exwife or this exgf. It sounds like you have major control and anger issues, that's why you wanted a quick commitment and wanted to isolate her. She was right to run.

She read the email and left it in her INBOX for a while and the it went to trash. She told me that she wasn't going to do me like my ex wife did, sure looks like it to me :(

[Hollyj]

If I’m interpreting what OP is saying correctly, he’s saying they have been together almost a year. July is only 3 months away.

 

Okay. They met 8 months ago. Not a year. The main point I was trying to make, is that they got engaged in five months. She had also demonstrated a lot of unstable behavior in the relationship.

[2005TAHOE]

My point is that for someone that says "I love you", "we will be together forever", "you are my soulmate" I believed her, i never compared her in that way to my exwife, It wasnt until that I saw similar issues start to happen. Talking to her mom about our arguments and financial stuff, protective over her phone, deleting history on her phone, etc...