My ex came back again.

[Pleasedonot5]

I disagree with others. He said he doesn't feel pain about his ex, but feels it still over you. I've been there. I think he's actually hung up on you... So that puts the ball in your court

 

Edit: well, perhaps the outcome wasn't what I thought. I'm sorry to hear that. People really are awful, aren't they.

[mandeelove]

I disagree with others. He said he doesn't feel pain about his ex, but feels it still over you. I've been there. I think he's actually hung up on you... So that puts the ball in your court

 

Edit: well, perhaps the outcome wasn't what I thought. I'm sorry to hear that. People really are awful, aren't they.

I assumed he was back with her ...it was my mistake. Someone told me false info. SORRY EVERYONE.

 

But he isn't back with her according to him. He calls it a "break" because she is acting wrong to him etc. He feels like hes done. He is actually open about the whole thing.

 

He def seems to be hung up on me though. He does feel I was the best love he ever had. Those are his words. But like everyone has said, I'm not getting close. Right now hes been contacting me very civil and nothing flirty . He is acting regular but consistant. He texts me atleast once a day and its not affecting me in a bad way. So that is why I am answering for now .

 

Overall its 2 years since our breakup and I can see he def matured.

 

Can you explain what you were trying to say before? You think hes interested or?

[sara-pezzini]

so you're still in contact with him even though you thought he was back with her, why???

He's contacting you once a day and is slowly working himself back into your life. It doesn't affect you you say but i don't believe that, your already asking about it here so it has you thinking....i don't believe you're unaffected about this!

You just went through a breakup so maybe you're vulnerable but he caused you a lot of pain! I don't believe for one second he is changed that much that it would lead to anything good this time.

But i also know we told you countless times to dump your recent ex and you never did until now so you will not listen now either......

I don't know.....i give up on this one...

[boltnrun]

I get that you're hurting over your (very recent) breakup, but do you really think revisiting this is a smart way to try to feel better?

[MissCanuck]

I assumed he was back with her ...it was my mistake. Someone told me false info. SORRY EVERYONE.

 

But he isn't back with her according to him. He calls it a "break" because she is acting wrong to him etc. He feels like hes done. He is actually open about the whole thing.

 

He def seems to be hung up on me though. He does feel I was the best love he ever had. Those are his words. But like everyone has said, I'm not getting close. Right now hes been contacting me very civil and nothing flirty . He is acting regular but consistant. He texts me atleast once a day and its not affecting me in a bad way. So that is why I am answering for now .

 

Overall its 2 years since our breakup and I can see he def matured.

 

Can you explain what you were trying to say before? You think hes interested or?

 

My opinion hasn't changed.

 

If things were really that bad with his girlfriend, they would be broken up. Not on a break. There is a reason they haven't totally ended it, and I think you are being used for attention, and he's grooming you to be his Plan B. You're not Plan A; the girlfriend is. Hence why they're evidently both still hanging on and not completely over.

 

You need to value yourself more, girl.

[mandeelove]

I do not want him back. Do I acknowledge the love was real, like nothing I ever felt before? Yes. Have I pondered the thought over the years ? Yes.

 

But am I logicalvalso? Yes.

 

This post was to see what everyone thought his intensions were. The guy told me his gf is still in picture. Told me he is in limbo. Told me shes trying to fix her issues but he doubts she can. He never once said Im here to win u back. In fact he said I want u to know Im not trying to win u back or stir up anything bad for u. He also said that Im not obligated to speak to him if it hurts me.

 

Doesnt sound like a guy who is playing both sides. If he wanted to get me hed be charming and lie and say shes not even in the picture!. He told me the truth.

 

So this is nothing more than clearing the air and fixing any hurt feelings because he admitted the way we left off was very unsettling to us. He wanted to make peace.

 

I feel i can handle it. Thats why I respond . As soon as he starts flirting (if he does) I will tell him Im not looking for that etc.

 

As far as being vulnerable, I know I just got out of something and no way can date anyone. But having friends? I can do that. Whats wrong with convo here and there. Thats all Im saying. This ex was a big part of my life but as I stated earlier, going NC for so long has made me able to see clearly and separate emotions when I speak to him. I can handle him without falling into mush. Hes an honest guy. If he wanted me, hed say it. And as I speak to him I realize theres no romantic vibes coming from him.

[mandeelove]

So my original post was when he first contacted me. I was really confused. Now its 9 days later and I see his intentions arent to win me back. Maybe hes evaluating his life and past, but he hasnt said that directly. Right now I feel its not dangerous to talk. As long as he keeps it like this.

[Pleasedonot5]

Mandee,

 

I do think what he is feeling is sincere -- whether or not it would be consistent is another matter.

 

So he's in limbo... Is he "on a break" or "broken up?" Because if he's still technically with her he has no business telling you his feelings for you. If he has those feelings for you, he shouldn't be with her.

 

I'd recommend examining what you want from talking to him. Do you want to explore another shot, or no? If no, why are you talking to him? If yes, what would have to happen for you to get together?

 

Another consideration: how did the relationship end last time? Are you healed from it? Are you still angry about it?

 

Lastly, you say you aren't sure of his intentions by telling you those things. I'm in the camp of asking him directly: "you tell me [XYZ], so what are your intentions - are you trying to win me back?" and "if she came back today would you go back with her after what you've told me?"

[MissCanuck]

Hes an honest guy.

 

And yet, you caught him sexting other women while you were dating.

 

I don't know how you define "honest" but this dude isn't it.

[boltnrun]

I mean, I get that it feels good to have attention from him after your (again, very recent) breakup.

 

But please, tread carefully and be 100% honest with yourself (if not with us).

 

I too found the attention of an ex soothing when I went through a breakup. Next thing I knew, I was back with him, dealing with the EXACT SAME issues that broke us up the first time. And the second round was much harder to extricate from than the first one because I'd become emotionally dependent on him. It turned out awful.

 

If he's texting you daily, you will come to expect, look forward to and depend on his contact. It will make you feel valued, wanted, important. You'll not want to lose that attention. And you'll find yourself into a situation you probably didn't anticipate. You'll convince yourself he's "changed", that he's "different this time" because you'll want to believe it. And bingo, there you are, somewhere you never thought you'd be.

 

**I know you'll probably dismiss everything I've just written, but I felt it was worth a try.

[sara-pezzini]

couldn't agree with boltnrun more!! So well said!

[mandeelove]

I mean, I get that it feels good to have attention from him after your (again, very recent) breakup.

 

But please, tread carefully and be 100% honest with yourself (if not with us).

 

I too found the attention of an ex soothing when I went through a breakup. Next thing I knew, I was back with him, dealing with the EXACT SAME issues that broke us up the first time. And the second round was much harder to extricate from than the first one because I'd become emotionally dependent on him. It turned out awful.

 

If he's texting you daily, you will come to expect, look forward to and depend on his contact. It will make you feel valued, wanted, important. You'll not want to lose that attention. And you'll find yourself into a situation you probably didn't anticipate. You'll convince yourself he's "changed", that he's "different this time" because you'll want to believe it. And bingo, there you are, somewhere you never thought you'd be.

 

**I know you'll probably dismiss everything I've just written, but I felt it was worth a try.

I do agree with you in saying that I could get used to the daily contact even if I promise I wont.. Which is why I decided to be distant and not create that problem. Its better off I stay away bcuz long term maybe ur right....I will be disappointed if he stops texting daily OR , the minute that ex girlfriend comes back, he will be right back with her and not needing to text me. I do think he was tryung to use me because he missed her and lonely.